Laid Back – a Variation on Coital Alignment Technique

Coital Alignment Technique is one of the best ways for women to reach orgasm during intercourse. A slight twist can make the position feel so different.

One of the most successful positions for a woman to experience an orgasm during intercourse is Coital Alignment Technique or CAT. You align your bodies to stimulate the clitoris simply by the position of your bodies. I wrote about the position in a post titled Positions and Movements, so here is an excerpt from that article.

CAT is really just a variation of missionary position.The man enters and then shifts his body up towards his wife’s head. His shaft is wraps over her vulva and across her clitoris. Instead of elevating his body with his arms, he lowers his body just enough so that he does not put too much weight on her. The motion is not a thrusting in and out of the penis, but a rocking up and down. You will need to play around to figure out what works well. Direct his movement by placing your hands on his butt or hips… Women that orgasm easier with their legs together can, one at leg at a time, shift their legs to the inside of their husbands. Some women enjoy the feeling of being fully pinned against the bed by not using a pillow under their head.

A Small Twist

The small twist of a husband sliding the pillow out from under her head changes everything. It tilts her head back to more of an attitude of surrender. The mattress provides firm support as her husbands body gently sandwiches her. No longer able to see anything other than her husbands face, eyes lock eyes. Rocking becomes a sensual interchange of connection and disconnection. As husband and wife focus on where their bodies become one, pelvis’s engage and urge for more.

by Ruth Buezis April 28, 2016

Wrapped Up – a Position that Nurtures

I have to be honest, this is not a position that I ever ask for. Not because I don’t like it. But because I am too worn out to ask. It is a position that my husband takes me when I am tired and over loaded. He just wants to wrap me up and love me. In fact, usually when my husband wants to take me there, he has to insist on it. With his steady words and strong arms he has to convince me that he really does want to do this, and that it is ok for me to sit back and just relax. (If you haven’t figured it out yet, I have a really great husband.)

Get into Position

To get into this position, the husband should pile up some pillows against the headboard of the bed. He can then sit with his back against the pillows, fairly upright with his legs spread apart. He can gently guide his wife to sit between his legs with her back resting against his chest. The wife’s body will need to be tucked in close so that his hands can reach all the way to her thighs.

He can then wrap his arms around her to gently stroke and warm up her body. His face can nuzzle her hair and neck to smell her. He can gently run his fingers up and down her arms, around her breasts and down her sides to her thighs. Eventually one of his hands can rest on her mound as he leisurely strolls his fingers through her garden. He can spend time just feeling her clitoris through stillness and slow movements as he warms her up.

As her body begins to relax, she can let her head rest along one of his shoulders. The closeness and security of this position can lead to a different kind of experience that may be much less physical and seeking, but much more relaxing, surrendering and just letting it come. As she experiences pleasure, she can feel her body melt into her husbands and breathe deeply to let out the last ounce of tension. She can let her head drop back, or turn and find his lips as her husband tenderly loves her.

by Ruth Buezis April 21, 2016

Up Close and Personal – Watching Her Vulva

There came a time in my life when in order for me to believe that my husband loved all of me, I wanted him to actually see all of me – even my vulva. I wanted him to not just know my vulva with his hands or his mouth – but with his eyes.

There is a huge contrast between the typical experience of a woman touching a man, and a man touching a woman.

When a woman touches a man’s penis, it is completely normal for both husband and wife to watch what is happening – in fact I would say it is almost hard to ignore. It is like this show that demands their full attention until the fireworks fly. It is mesmerizing and amazing and everyone knows it.

But when a man touches a women’s vulva, it is normal for both husband and wife to be completely visually disconnected from what is going on. He kisses her and embraces her, and secretly slips a hand between her legs. Nobody talks about it or looks and they barely acknowledge that it is happening besides the occasional uncomfortable attempt at guidance or direction. It is just some anonymous thing that happens between her legs, while the real attention is lavished in more acceptable places. There is no grand finale to be eagerly watched for or anticipated from her vulva, but it is the more subtle clues of ecstasy that are awaited.

Contrary to what is commonly believed, maybe mostly by ourselves, our bodies are amazing. And though changes during arousal are not as obvious, a careful student of his wife will notice engorgement, physical changes and even color changes. So maybe sometimes a husband ought to enjoy the show up close and personal and give his wife a sensual play by play of the amazing show that he sees and feels.

Tell your wife that you want to get to know her body more and that you would like to watch as you arouse her with your hands and take her over the top. Set up soft lights, and warm the room to make her comfortable. Have her gently spread her legs as you kneel between them. Keep your free hand on her legs or body to hold her steady and connected. Take her in with your eyes as you work your magic with your hands.For variety try a thumb or palm. Smile at her once in a while, voice your pleasure as you enjoy her pleasure, and

let her know just how amazed you are.

by Ruth Buezis April 14, 2016

Lazy 69 Position

The traditional 69 position of woman on top, mouth to genitals, can be challenging to wives for several reasons:

it takes a lot of arm strength to hold up her body – especially if she wants to get another hand involved in the action
it is hard to stay under the covers on a cold night
there are few physical points of connection other than mouths on genitals
it can feel as if her rear is literally right in front of her husbands eyes

So here is another position, Lazy 69, that provides simultaneous oral pleasure, is relaxing for both husband and wife, and provides loads of skin to skin connection.

The Lazy

Align your bodies similar to the traditional 69 position but instead, both of you lay on your side in a gently curled up position. The wife will need to gently spread her legs apart so that the husband can rest his clean shaven cheek on her inner thigh. The wife can either rest her head on the mattress or on a small pillow. Both husband and wife can gently pull the other closer for more intimate contact. In this relaxed position it is easy to stay warm under the covers. Hands can freely be used to stroke, caress or grasp. If the wife wants more access to his testicles or perineum, she can gently spread his legs. Bodies can be pulled even closer to gain further access or just to meld bodies together as pleasure mounts.

Take all the time in the world as you explore and enjoy

The Lazy 69

by Ruth Buezis April 7, 2016

The Peak of Confidence – Straddling His Face

Straddling his face only happens when a wife feels absolutely at the peak of confidence. She must be thoroughly warmed up and beyond worrying about what she looks like, or even societal roles and norms. Her body feels sleek, clean and sexy and she feels secure asking for what she wants. She knows her husband wants to give it to her – in fact, he doesn’t just want to give it to her – it turns him on.

The Set Up

The wife might start out by giving her husband oral stimulation or manual stimulation with him laying on his back, his head propped up with a pillow so that he can see better. When she is ready, she can transition by telling him it is her turn. She can spend some time kissing, rubbing her body along his and eventually make it clear that she has even bigger plans.

The Move

She can then move into position, straddling his face so he can pleasure her with oral stimulation. Holding a headboard will provide her support. A husband can provide additional connection and stimulation by using his hands on her buttocks or breasts. The wife can take control of the movement, pressure and pace. She can fully open herself up and take advantage of building tension by flexing her pelvis forward as the husband gains full access to her body.

Step out, stay in the moment and thrill your husband as you soar at ….

The Peak of Confidence

by Ruth Buezis March 24, 2016

Side Winder – Sex on the Side

I don’t know if you have noticed or not, but most sexual positions involve connection with the front or back of our body, but few focus on our sides. Even if we are spooning and laying on our side, it is still the front of one body meshing with the back of another. But the sides of our body contains an enormous number of nerves. So here is a totally different position that could be used during foreplay, breast play or outer play.

The Side Winder

First, I am just going to say that this position works best when you are both completely naked. When a wife is feeling a little insecure or maybe just wants to play coy, she can curl loosely on her side with her eyes looking down or closed. A gentle but confident husband can approach her to warm her up. He can draw her out by straddling her body while on his knees.

Confidence

Sorry but I have to interject here . It is super sexy when a husband does not get bent out of shape by our insecurities, but instead has the confidence to gently draw us out of our shell. It is as if he is saying, “I’ve got you. I will take all the time you need. You are sexy even in your sultriness. You are totally worth it.” It is not that he demands it, but he takes a step back, and loves her right where she is. Then he takes her hand and leads her to a wide open meadow.

Position

Back to business – While he straddles her side, he can slowly work his way up her body. He can enjoy the amazing curves of her thighs, hips and waist. He can view the marvelous profile of her breasts cascading across her chest and gently trace their lines. With his hands he can lightly trace her curves, especially the transition from one curve to another. As he begins to become aroused, he can gently drag his penis or testicles along her side. He can use his hands on her breasts while gently stroking himself on her side. He can run his hands through her hair and nibble her neck. He can fully take her in visually from a new angle and position.

The wife can relax and just focus on the sense of touch or she can tap into visual arousal by peeking at his enjoyment. Laying on her side with her thighs together she can generate heat by flexing her kegel muscles and enjoy the eroticism of a husband visually enjoying her from a safer place.

Something new, a different angle, gentleness, strength, playing coy and delicious

The Side Winder

by Ruth Buezis March 17, 2016

Sex Communicates Who We Are

I have this theory that the way we have sex , communicates who we are. The positions we use or the words we speak communicates something about us. The environment we create, or how we hold each other express who we are at that moment in time.

Say Something Through Sex

If sex is about getting to “know” each other, than what we do during sex needs to say something about us. Not just something about our overall character, like we are an introvert, a clean freak or dramatic. Sex ought to express what kind of day we had. Sex should show how we are feeling at that moment, or what we desperately need. If we used no words at all during sex, could our spouse tell –

if we had a good day or bad day?
whether we were feeling playful or sensuous?
if we were insecure or confident?

I think part of the reason sex can become boring is because we just go thru the motions. It is as if we are talking to our husband and we just keep saying the same sentence over and over, with the same tone of voice and with the same expression on our face. We already know what we are going to say and so does he.

Next Thursday we begin a series of articles about positions – intercourse positions, oral sex positions, manual sex positions, foreplay and whatever else we can think of. Our goal is not to just describe the physical placement or alignment of body parts but to tie the position to different emotions and expressions. Feel free to send us suggestions of what you want covered. We want to explore and stretch you in how to reveal yourself to your spouse. Some things are just too hard to put into words – or maybe words are just inadequate – but I think God gave us the gift of sex as a supernatural way to communicate. So let’s start communicating.

by Ruth Buezis March 3, 2016

TRAINING YOUR BODY TO ENJOY ANOTHER POSITION

Last week I wrote about Rear Entry positions and I want to do a follow up. I learned something along the way that I think deserves its own article. We can train our body to enjoy another position.

A Process

Learning to enjoy rear entry positions has been a process for me. Part of it has been learning to trust my husband and know that he is not just using me. We have also learned to make the position more pleasurable for me with added stimulation or movement and angle changes. I have also learned to embrace my own eroticism and what a position like doggie position can communicate. But fairly recently I stumbled on something that changed things a lot more than I thought it would.

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by Ruth Buezis October 7, 2015

REAR ENTRY

Recently I received a special request to write an article on vaginal intercourse rear entry positions so I am going to give it a whirl.

Rear entry used to be my least favorite position, but a lot of things have changed. So let me shed some light on some of the challenges of this position for women, adaptions that can make it more enjoyable, and why eventually it might be awesome.

Challenges

Anybody that has ever seen animals mate has the position of rear entry burned into their mind. This is the position that animals use when the male decides to do his thing. There is no foreplay, no kissing, no connection. He just does it. It is hard not to associate rear entry with being used and animalistic behavior.

Some wives may assume that if a husband wants to try rear entry, it is because he does not want to see her. That he is simply using her body as a receptacle. Just because you are not face to face does not mean that you cannot create a powerful connection.

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by Ruth Buezis October 5, 2015

POSITIONS AND MOVEMENT FOR ORGASM DURING INTERCOURSE

If I discovered a magic position that all women would experience an orgasm during intercourse, then I would be a millionaire. I wish it were that simple. No magic position exists, but as we get to know ourselves and each other, we can learn to move in ways that target pleasure spots.

There are really only a handful of different positions but modifying them in small ways can make a huge difference in how they stimulate our bodies. Recognizing which pathway we are trying to stimulate – clitoral, G-spot, or Deep spot – will help us capitalize on the kind of movement that works best. Let’s approach this according to which pathway we are targeting. For the purpose of keying into what feels good, I would suggest that you limit other stimulation for the time being.

Although this article could be helpful for anyone, it is part of a series “How to have an orgasm during intercourse”. If you are working towards that goal, please make sure that you read my previous articles The Big Question, His and Her Kegels, Talk about What?, Flexibility Training, Different Pathways, The Man Factor, and Mind over Matter

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by Ruth Buezis April 19, 2015

Category: Positions

Laid Back – a Variation on Coital Alignment Technique

A Small Twist

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