His and Her Kegels

If you want to experience an orgasm during intercourse, there is no better place to start than for both you and your husband to become more aware of your own bodies, and to have more control over them. So today I will outline for both of you the reasons to do kegels, how to do them, and to how make it a part of your day.

Reasons for HIM to do kegels…

  1. To last longer through the conscious relaxation of your kegel muscles during sex
  2. To prevent ejaculation by 3 quick squeezes of your kegel muscles when you are close to the point of no return.
  3. For stronger erections
  4. For stronger orgasms – and possible multiple orgasms
  5. To prevent urinary leaking
  6. For prostate health

Reasons for HER to do kegels

  1. To keep sex on her mind
  2. To connect her mind to her sex muscles
  3. To increase circulation and engorgement, resulting in increased sensations during intercourse.
  4. For stronger orgasms.
  5. To aid in consciously relaxing the muscles to prevent painful intercourse
  6. To prevent urinary incontinence
  7. For pelvic floor health

How to do Kegels

  1. Find the correct muscles to exercise by shutting off your urine in midstream. These are the muscles that you want to exercise.
  2. The goal is not to just strengthen the muscles, but to have good control over them. Therefore you need to focus not just on the contraction of the muscles, but on the full relaxation of the muscles. To fully relax, breath out and imagine gently pushing out your kegel muscles. (If you are a woman, confirm your technique by putting a finger inside your vagina to feel the contraction, and the relaxation of the muscles).
  3. REPS – Alternate contracting your kegel muscles for 3 seconds and relaxing for 3 seconds. Do in sets of at least 10.
  4. ELEVATORS – Contract your kegel muscles for 3 seconds, then contract to a tighter level for 3 seconds, repeat until you cannot go tighter, then work your way down. Relax to the lower level and hold for 3 seconds, then relax at the next lower level, until you are all the way back down. Do in sets of at least 5
  5. FLUTTERS – contract your kegel muscles as quickly as you can at least 10 times.
  6. Try to do all 3 types of kegels at least 3 times per day.

Times to exercise your kegel muscles:

  1. When talking on the phone
  2. When driving
  3. While in the shower
  4. Before you get out of bed in the morning
  5. While listening to music or watching TV
  6. During intercourse

Kegel exercises were originally developed in order to cure urinary incontinence. During follow up visits to their doctor, women began reporting that they had experienced orgasms during intercourse for the first time. Do not discount how important strong kegel muscles are if you want to experience orgasm during intercourse. Go get em!

Comments 7

    • mm

      Kegels can make a huge difference for men but it may take a while before you notice the impact. Finding a consistent time to do them, like while you are taking a shower, can help you remember.

  1. I have been doing kegels for about 3 or 4 months. I read about multiple men’s orgasms and decided to try them. I think I am having them. What I experience is a feeling that I am about to ejaculate then I squeeze my kegels and I do not ejaculate, but I have this feeling like I am having an orgasm. It takes me a couple of minutes to get aroused to have a slight dry orgasm (say about a #7 on a scale of 1-10). I stop stimulation, relax for about 45 seconds, stimulate again and have another orgasm (about a 9 for a few seconds). I stop, relax again for 45 seconds, stimulate again and have another dry orgasm (about a 9 for a few seconds). I usually do this for about 10 minutes with an orgasm every minute. I have gone 30 minutes this way, but I end up a bit sore. I sometimes go 20 minutes but I begin to loose a bit of orgasm strength. Maybe I drop my orgasm to a 7 or 8 if I go too long. I end with an ejaculation most of the time.

    I don’t think I have experience the range of orgasms that your husband has experienced. Mine are about the same just a range of intensity. Of course the greater the intensity involves the whole body rather than a localized orgasm.

    Any suggestions on how to experience what your husband experienced?

    • mm

      Many things contribute to what my husband experiences besides just mechanics and strong Kegel muscles. Almost 30 years of marriage has built trust. He has stopped worrying about what is going to happen next and has let go of expectations. He trusts that I know him well, have a plan and am taking him somewhere. He has relaxed enough to not force things and to let things progress naturally. We have time to just play. Connection drives what we do, not results.

  2. “Connection drives what we do, not results”. Beautiful. This seems to sum up your whole philosophy, Ruth. I love it.

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