Woman on Top

Woman on top is one of the most pleasure inducing positions for women and it is not all that different from riding a horse. While on vacation one of the high lights was riding Icelandic horses and it got me thinking about the similarities between riding horses and riding our husbands.

Before getting on your horse, you need to spend time getting to know him. You stroke his neck, speak his name and let him smell you. He learns who you are and your calmness settles him. Having sex is about connection and getting to know our husband. We have to begin with settling ourselves so that our husbands can relax. When we stop worrying and start being, we can feel our husband, smell him and see him. Do you know when you are connected to your husband or are you too busy thinking about the next thing you need to do or worrying about how you look?


Take Her to The Wall

Most women secretly crave a husband that leads confidently enough to take her.

Against the wall is probably one of the most passionate positions.

In order for a husband to take her to the wall, she must trust him. He must be so in tune with his wife that he knows when and how. Women have this romantic notion that a husband taking us will be the hottest thing ever. But when it comes right down to it, women are control freaks. Many of us don’t handle surprises well. We cannot expect our husbands to take us without helping them out. Sensitive husbands may be err on the side of being, kind, considerate, and using lots of foreplay . That does not really jive with”being taken.”


Electric Connection – Breast Sex

One of the most sensitive and erotic areas of a woman’s body are her nipples.

One of the most sensitive and erotic areas of a man’s body is his penis.

And when the two come together, it can be



Side Winder – Sex on the Side

side-winderI don’t know if you have noticed or not, but most sexual positions involve connection with the front or back of our body, but few focus on our sides. Even if we are spooning and laying on our side, it is still the front of one body meshing with the back of another. But the sides of our body contains an enormous number of nerves. So  here is a totally different position that could be used during foreplay, breast play or outer play.


The Side Winder

First, I am just going to say that this position works best when you are both completely naked. When a wife is feeling a little insecure or maybe just wants to play coy, she can curl loosely on her side with her eyes looking down or closed. A gentle but confident husband can approach her to warm her up. He can draw her  out by straddling her body while on his knees.


Sorry but I have to interject here . It is super sexy when a husband does not get bent out of shape by our insecurities, but instead has the confidence to gently draw us out of our shell. It is as if he is saying, “I’ve got you. I will take all the time you need. You are sexy even in your sultriness. You are totally worth it.” It is not that he demands it, but he takes a step back, and loves her right where she is. Then he takes her hand and leads her to a wide open meadow.


Back to business – While he straddles her side, he can slowly work his way up her body. He can enjoy the amazing curves of her thighs, hips and waist. He can view the marvelous profile of her breasts cascading across her chest and gently trace their lines. With his hands he can lightly trace her curves, especially the transition from one curve to another. As he begins to become aroused, he can gently drag his penis or testicles along her side. He can use his hands on her breasts  while gently stroking himself on her side. He can run his hands through her hair and nibble her neck. He can fully take her in visually from a new angle and position.

The wife can relax and just focus on the sense of touch or she can tap into visual arousal by peeking at his enjoyment. Laying on her side with her thighs together she can generate heat by flexing her kegel muscles and enjoy the eroticism of a husband visually enjoying her from a safer place.

Something new, a different angle, gentleness, strength, playing coy and delicious

The Side Winder

Ruth Buezis

Sex Communicates Who We Are

girl-face                                                  guy-face
I have this theory that the way we have sex , communicates who we are. The positions we use or the words we speak communicates something about us. The environment we create, or how we hold each other express who we are at that moment in time.

Say Something Through Sex

If sex is about getting to “know” each other, than what we do during sex needs to say something about us. Not just something about our overall character, like we are an introvert, a clean freak or dramatic. Sex ought to express what kind of day we had. Sex should show how we are feeling at that moment, or what we desperately need. If we used no words at all during sex, could our spouse tell –

  • if we had a good day or bad day?
  • whether we were feeling playful or sensuous?
  • if we were insecure or confident?

I think part of the reason sex can become boring is because we just go thru the motions. It is as if we are talking to our husband and we just keep saying the same sentence over and over, with the same tone of voice and with the same expression on our face. We already know what we are going to say and so does he.

Next Thursday we begin a series of articles about positions – intercourse positions, oral sex positions, manual sex positions, foreplay and whatever else we can think of. Our goal is not to just describe the physical placement or alignment of body parts but to tie the position to different emotions and expressions. Feel free to send us suggestions of what you want covered. We want to explore and stretch you in how to reveal yourself to your spouse. Some things are just too hard to put into words – or maybe words are just inadequate –  but I think God gave us the gift of sex as a supernatural way to communicate. So let’s start communicating.

Ruth Buezis


If I discovered a magic position that all women would experience an orgasm during intercourse, then I would be a millionaire. I wish it were that simple. No magic position exists, but as we get to know ourselves and each other, we can learn to move in ways that target pleasure spots.

There are really only a handful of different positions but modifying them in small ways can make a huge difference in how they stimulate our bodies. Recognizing which pathway we are trying to stimulate – clitoral, G-spot, or Deep spot – will help us capitalize on the kind of movement that works best. Let’s approach this according to which pathway we are targeting. For the purpose of keying into what feels good, I would suggest that you limit other stimulation for the time being.

Although this article could be helpful for anyone, it is part of a series “How to have  an orgasm during intercourse”. If you are working towards that goal, please make sure that you read my previous articles The Big Question, His and Her KegelsTalk about What?Flexibility TrainingDifferent Pathways,  The Man Factor, and Mind over Matter