Manual Stimulation for Your Wife

Manual Stimulation can be one of the most intense ways for your wife to experience orgasm, but it does not necessarily come easily or intuitively. Keep reading for some tips to make manual stimulation something to remember.

Rubbing Vs Feeling

One of the MOST important concepts we teach in the Awaken-Love Men’s Edition is the difference between “rubbing” and “feeling”.  In order to illustrate the point, we have the men put a little coconut oil on their wrist. We then ask them to spend a little time “rubbing” their wrist. Being the task oriented men they are, they get right at it, rubbing their wrist with focused vigor.

After a few minutes, we stop them, take a deep breath and then ask them to “feel” their wrist. Their movement instantly changes to a slow, sensuous, thoughtful feeling of their wrist. We see them thinking about what they experience. Their mind intently mapping the terrain and responses.  Next we spend time exploring ways to “feel” not just the surface of the skin, but the area under the skin. By keeping their fingers attached to the skin to eliminate friction, they can better feel tendons and veins. We finish by spending time simply holding still. Sometimes you can pick up a pulse or feel tension better by simply holding still.

As we process the difference between “rubbing and feeling”, a giant light bulb goes on for the men.


Woven Together – A Comfortable Manual Stimulation Position

Many women describe orgasms from masturbation or manual stimulation as their most physically intense and well defined orgasm. Because there is less distraction than during intercourse, women can focus on what they feel and experience. Hands and fingers  provide plenty of clitoral stimulation and orgasms can top the charts. But sometimes it’s hard finding a comfortable manual stimulation position.


Wrapped Up – a Position that Nurtures

I have to be honest, this is not a position that I ever ask for. Not because I don’t like it. But because I am too worn out to ask.  It is a position that my husband takes me when I am tired and over loaded. He just wants to wrap me up and love me. In fact, usually when my husband wants to take me there, he has to insist on it. With his steady words and strong arms he has to convince me that he really does want to do this, and that it is ok for me to sit back and just relax. (If you haven’t figured it out yet, I have a really great husband.)

Get into Position

To get into this position, the husband should pile up some pillows against the headboard of the bed. He can then sit with his back against the pillows, fairly upright with his legs spread apart. He can gently guide his wife to sit between his legs with her back resting against his chest. The wife’s body will need to be tucked in close so that his hands can reach all the way to her thighs.

He can then wrap his arms around her to gently stroke and warm up her body. His face can nuzzle her hair and neck to smell her. He can gently run his fingers up and down her arms, around her breasts and down her sides to her thighs. Eventually one of his hands can rest on her mound as he leisurely strolls his fingers through her garden. He can spend time just feeling her clitoris through stillness and slow movements as he warms her up.

As her body begins to relax, she can let her head rest along one of his shoulders. The closeness and security of this position can lead to a different kind of experience that may be much less physical and seeking, but much more relaxing, surrendering and just letting it come. As she experiences pleasure, she can feel her body melt into her husbands and breathe deeply to let out the last ounce of tension. She can let her head drop back, or turn and find his lips as her husband tenderly loves her.

Ruth Buezis

Up Close and Personal – Watching Her Vulva

There came a time in my life when in order for me to believe that my husband loved all of me, I wanted him to actually see all of me – even my vulva. I wanted him to not just know my vulva with his hands or his mouth – but with his eyes.

There is a huge contrast between the typical experience of a woman touching a man, and a man touching a woman.

When a woman touches a man’s penis, it is completely normal for both husband and wife to watch what is happening – in fact I would say it is almost hard to ignore. It is like this show that demands their full attention until the fireworks fly.  It is mesmerizing and amazing and everyone knows it.

But when a man touches a women’s vulva, it is normal for both husband and wife to be completely visually disconnected from what is going on. He kisses her and embraces her, and secretly slips a hand between her legs. Nobody talks about it or looks and they barely acknowledge that it is happening besides the occasional uncomfortable attempt at guidance or direction. It is just some anonymous thing that happens between her legs, while the real attention is lavished in more acceptable places. There is no grand finale to be eagerly watched for or anticipated from her vulva, but it is the more subtle clues of ecstasy that are awaited.

Contrary to what is commonly believed, maybe mostly by ourselves, our bodies are amazing. And though changes during arousal are not as obvious, a careful student of his wife will notice engorgement, physical changes  and even color changes. So maybe sometimes a husband ought to enjoy the show up close and personal and give his wife a sensual play by play of the amazing show that he sees and feels.

Tell your wife that you want to get to know her body more and that you would like to watch as you arouse her with your hands and take her over the top. Set up soft lights, and warm the room to make her comfortable. Have her gently spread her legs as you kneel between them. Keep your free hand on her legs or body to hold her steady and connected. Take her in with your eyes as you work your magic with your hands.For variety try  a thumb or palm. Smile at her once in a while, voice your pleasure  as you enjoy her pleasure, and

let her know just how amazed you are.

Ruth Buezis