A couple of weeks ago,  I taught a class called “Your friend’s marriage matters”. We spent time talking about how to encourage our friends in their marriage, whether they were struggling or doing great.

Unbeknownst to me, a woman attended the class whose husband is not yet willing to come to church with her. She came because she wanted to strengthen her own marriage. When her husband asked where she had been, she shared that she had been at a class about marriage, and that she learned 2 small simple things that she hoped they might begin doing.

1. She wanted to start holding hands again

2. She wanted to start praying with him

He thought for a moment, and then said,”I guess we can start doing that”.

What an amazing thing! Quite honestly, I’m not sure he realized how physical touching and praying together can transform a relationship.

Your mission, is to make these two simple changes to your marriage, and to do them everyday….

Hold hands… while you are walking, watching tv, shopping, or sitting next to each other

Pray together … in the morning, or evening pray to the God of the universe. Don’t just pray through your prayer requests, but share your heart, your struggles, your hopes and your dreams.


Are you thankful for your husband?

We wives can be so complicated in bed and in many ways a real challenge to love. What works one day may not work the next, and yet our husbands biggest thrill is to give us the time of our life.

Affirm your husband by making a list of 10 ways that he loves you well in your marriage bed.


It has been an interesting week, with all kinds of up and downs, twists and turns. What I want to share with you comes from today’s Jesus Calling and Colossians 1:27  – And this is the secret: Christ lives in you. This gives you assurance of sharing his glory.

I don’t where you are today, or what you are dealing with, but Christ lives in you. 

I don’t who God has called you to serve or minister to, but Christ lives in you. 

I don’t what God has called you to do, but Christ lives in you.

In all that you do, know that Christ lives in you, so that you might glorify Him.


The time change always throws me for a loop, and this week I just keep waking up early. Time for some great morning sex.

Take advantage of those opportunities when you are in bed, and for what ever reason not sleeping. This week enjoy some middle of the night sex, or early morning sex.


birthday cakeTomorrow I turn 50 years old.

I will celebrate with friends at a party that night, and later…I will celebrate in private with my husband.

I can’t  help but think just how far I have come in the last few years. It used to be that if a birthday or anniversary rolled around, I knew I’d better get myself ready and psych myself up  because we’d probably have sex that night. I think sometimes I was probably so nervous about it, that I didn’t enjoy the other festivities too much.

Anyway, I thank God that I now understand and desire this gift of sex that God gave us. I thank God that He has healed me from past baggage and lies that I had allowed to affect my marriage. I thank God that I have a patient husband, that was willing to love me even when I did not love him well, and that he has grown with me on this journey.

So this week, celebrate how far you have come. Think back to how things were and thank God for being with you every step of the way. Thank your husband for walking with you and celebrate  together the amazing connection that God has given you.




One of my favorite blogs Hot, Holy and Humorous had a post this week that I just loved called “The Amusement Park of Orgasms”. I talk all the time about how orgasms can feel so different and this article uses rides at an amusement park as way to describe the different orgasms. Take a look at it  and if you have an orgasm that differs from what she describes, think of your own ride. Here is the link.

Now for your mission. Yeah, you knew this was coming after my last post on loving yourself. It is time to us to know ourselves  up close and personal.

Warm up the room, find a private time and place, and get out a mirror to actually look at yourself. Spend some time moving things around so you can see things better. If you pull up on your mound, you should be able to see the small hole above your vagina that is your urethra. Then draw a picture of yourself. It will force you to really study yourself and see just how intricate you are. Can you  praise God for how he made you?”  Afterwards, if you are comfortable, share the drawing and your experience with your husband.

Just so you know, I’m not sure what I think about this mission, except that I was sure that this is where I was supposed to go. So this week, I will pull out my mirror and dare to go where I have not dared to go before.

I would love to hear about it if you dare, comment below.



fall_leaves_617The leaves are at their peak, and we serve an amazing God that is so creative and delights in dazzling us. Your mission this week, is simply to go on a walk in the next few days with your husband to admire God’s creation. Hold hands, feel the breeze in your hair, take in all the colors and breath.


One of the comments from my class last night, was how they were learning how important it was to just MAKE TIME for sex.  That life gets so busy sometimes that you can get into a routine of fast food sex, and though that is ok once in a while, it is an intentional choice to MAKE TIME.

Your mission this week, is to simply MAKE TIME for some gourmet sex. That means if you are used to 10 minutes, than find a half hour. If you are used to 20 minutes, than go for a full hour, But be intentional, plan ahead, and allow yourself to luxuriate in each other.


Tonight I am teaching about communication in my sex class, and one of the topics that always comes up is how awful the names are for women’s body parts. The clinical terms like vagina, clitoris, labia and vulva can quickly cool any steam that is starting to rise in the bedroom. The slang terms are so connected with pornography and the disrespect of women that for many of us, they cannot be allowed into our marriage bed.

It got me thinking about the nicknames that men use for their genitals. Men use names like…

Mr Happy

The Energizer Bunny

Man’s Best Friend

The Dicktator


The One Eyed Monster


Mr Pickle

All names that possess desire, and will and being.

Women’s genital are nicknames after inanimate object, that have no mind of their own. Names like …







Now, the question is, do women’s genitals have desire, will and being. Is it a part of who  you are as a person, or is it just an object to be used and consumed by others.

This may seem strange, but your mission this week is to come up with a nickname for your genitals. Something that might be a fun code word to use when you are in public, something that makes you feel sexy, something that rolls off of your tongue when you are in the heat of the moment. Some suggestions include …










I have this theory that in order to enjoy sex more, we need to feel like there is actually some one leading.  It is distracting to our minds to be wondering, is he going to do something, or am I supposed to do something. So in honor of my class tonight on “how to have an orgasm during intercourse”, take the lead at least once this week when you have sex. Go on a journey of what feels good to you. Rub his shaft on your vulva to see what feels good. Take him inside of you and just sit still while you feel him and let your body awaken to him. Move in ways that put pressure and tension on your sweet spots, and thank God for every new sensation that you feel.