I hope you have enjoyed our series “WANT TO HAVE FUN?” leading up to Valentine’s Day. It is good to be intentional and plan something special. If you asked me about some of my favorite memories of connecting with my husband, many of them would involve one of us planning something special or different. Sometimes it was romantic, sometimes it was edgy and sometimes it was just something new. Meat and potatoes sex is great, but sometimes you want lobster, fondue, or Thai food.

Planning For Each Other

A few years ago I realized that the things I planned for my husband were really things that I wished he would do for me.  And that what he planned for me were probably things that he desired. So we made a deal. On 3×5 cards I wrote down 12 specific date ideas that I would love. He wrote down 12 date ideas of his own. We traded the cards and each month, our goal was to plan one date that we knew the other would thoroughly enjoy.

The date ideas could be anything from a detailed romantic setting at home, a spicy rendezvous at a restaurant, or how we desired sex to play out. The sky was the limit. This was our chance to reveal a part of who we were and ask for what would really turn us on.

Here’s our challenge for you….

  • So talk to your spouse
  • Spend some time dreaming about what would really be fun
  • Write down 12 of your own desires and have your spouse do the same
  • Include specific details to make the date really come alive
  • Trade the cards
  •  Each month plan one date for the other
  • Make some amazing memories

Ruth Buezis



Sometimes creativity takes a little planning and thought. There are tons of ideas out there to get started, but what really takes it to the next level is making it very personal for just the two of you. You have to know each other by studying and paying attention to even the little details. You have to chew on it for a while before you know what your spouse would love.

Date number 4 is for husbands to plan.



I think that women have this idea that we are supposed to be the ones that are romanced and that our husbands don’t really care about that stuff. I looked up the definition of romance…

Romance -a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.

I think that it is time for women to step up in making marriage romantic – exciting and mysterious.

Date Number 3 is for wives to plan.



I have had a lot of great sex in 28 years of marriage but the memories that stick in my head are the times when my husband planned something special. He did not have to spend a lot of money or time – sometimes it was as simple as him starting a fire and spreading a blanket on the floor. But I knew my husband was thinking of me. 

Men, step up and make some memories with your wife. This weeks date is about as simple as it gets…

Date number 2 is for husbands to plan.



In honor of a New Year… Getting ready for Valentines…Getting out of the doldrums of winter…Making new memories…

Sometimes you just want to have fun.

So for the next 6 Thursdays, we will suggest very specific and creative ways to let loose, have fun and make memories with your spouse. Whether newlyweds or married 50 years, if you have no kids, young kids, grown kids or teenagers, adding some enthusiasm and whimsy to your marriage benefits everyone!

Don’t just read about it, actually do it!

Some of the ideas will be for husbands and some will be for wives. You can easily adapt all of the ideas for the other. Weekly, we will make it clear who the post is for. If you want to be surprised, you can stop reading and forward the post to your spouse. Or you can just decide to treat your spouse for 6 weeks straight.

Have fun, connect, find refreshment and revel in each other.  It is going to be a great year!

The Wives Plan Date  Number 1   (more…)


I had an interesting conversation the other day.

I was talking to one of my husbands friends about possibly attending my class for the men and he said,’If everything works, why do I need to worry about learning something new?”  I was a little shocked, because I always figure just the opposite, ” there is always something new to learn.”

Now to be fair, this is probably  the typical answer for most men. It comes from the foundational truth that most men cling to, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

473739183_5c99733c4bWhat men may not realize, is that women are like this complicated stereo component. You can either listen to it, with all the knobs randomly set to the neutral position, and have adequate sound. Or you can learn what all the knobs actually  do, and dial them into each song for the ultimate music.



Christmas-GiftChristmas is coming. Don’t forget to think about giving some gifts to make your bedroom special. Below are a list of ideas.

My favorite item that my husband bought for me this year is a remote control that will operate 3 different items, plugged into 3 different outlets in our room. While laying in our bed, we can turn on or off the scentsy candle across the room, the small night light next to my bed, and the reading light on his side of the bed. Here is a link 

Cold winters in Minnesota make for cold sheets and cold bedrooms. We already have a small electric fireplace like this one, but we plan on trying an electric blanket to pre-heat the sheets.

If you are interested  in purchasing some toys, or love potions, Covenantspice.com is a safe site to visit.

I am a big fan of coconut oil, partly because as I age, I need lubrication, and partly because the more my husband uses it on my, the softer his hands become. In the winter, coconut oil gets so hard in the jar that it is hard to get out. This year for Christmas, I am going to use candy molds to form small shapes of coconut oil that we can just grab when we want it.

I think my husband is terrified that one night we will burn the house down because we forgot to blow out the candles. He was thrilled when I came home with these remote controlled electric candles. They are wax on the outside and look, smell and feel real.

For sure, a new outfit for both of us in bed.

Put some thought into how you can make your bedroom special this holiday season.

What plans do you have for this year?