Trust – An Essential Ingredient to Great Sex

Trust seems like such a basic  ingredient for a great sex life and yet I am just starting to understand the depth of importance. Though basic trust in a marriage feels very similar for men and women, the challenges men and women face during sex vary drastically. The first step to create trust is an awareness and empathy for each other’s struggles. I want to share some specific ways that wives and husbands needs vary in regards to trust.

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RUNNING START

Having an orgasm is like jumping off of a cliff – sometimes you need to step back, take a deep breath, and take a running start at it.

Most summers, over the 4th of July, you will find my family relaxing at our church camp, Covenant Pines. One of my favorite activities is the huge rope swing. You jump off a platform and swing over the water to  drop into refreshment.

rope swing

I love the feel of swinging through the air and then letting go to plunge in, but jumping off the platform is hard. I am afraid of heights and if I think about it too much, I could easily turn around. Sometimes people get stuck right at the edge, clutching the rope and thinking about all the things that could go wrong. They try to will themselves to go, but their bodies won’t move. At this point, it is time for a different strategy.

Sometimes you need to take a few steps back from the edge, relax from holding onto the rope so tight, take a deep breath, and then take a running start at it.

One, Two , Three – Go!!!

With the conviction of “I am going to do this”, and feet running forward, their body launches into one of the funnest experiences of the summer.

Sometimes, when we get stuck at the edge of an orgasm, we need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and take a running start at it.

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WEEKLY MISSION #3

I have this theory that in order to enjoy sex more, we need to feel like there is actually some one leading.  It is distracting to our minds to be wondering, is he going to do something, or am I supposed to do something. So in honor of my class tonight on “how to have an orgasm during intercourse”, take the lead at least once this week when you have sex. Go on a journey of what feels good to you. Rub his shaft on your vulva to see what feels good. Take him inside of you and just sit still while you feel him and let your body awaken to him. Move in ways that put pressure and tension on your sweet spots, and thank God for every new sensation that you feel.