The Importance of Non-Sexual Touch

I often speak to young Moms about the importance of keeping sex alive even while raising kids.  It has been years since my 4 girls were babies, and much of it seems like a fog, but sex definitely was not at the top of my priority list. I have been thinking about what I wish I had done differently to navigate through baby land. One of my biggest mistakes was limiting non-sexual touch.

I remember spending long days at home chasing little kids, wiping noses, reading with a full lap of girls, and rocking babies to sleep. When my husband arrived home, the last thing I wanted was for him to touch me – especially if it might lead to sex.  And so I kept my distance from him. I didn’t linger with my kisses, I didn’t cuddle too long before I rolled away from him in bed, and I pushed him away.

Ultimately I wanted to protect my husband. I didn’t want to lead him on and later disappoint him. But limiting non-sexual touch, not only impacted my drive, but trained my husband to expect sex on the days that I allowed him to touch me. And his expectations for sex after non-sexual turned me off even more.  So the pattern began.



fall_leaves_617The leaves are at their peak, and we serve an amazing God that is so creative and delights in dazzling us. Your mission this week, is simply to go on a walk in the next few days with your husband to admire God’s creation. Hold hands, feel the breeze in your hair, take in all the colors and breath.