Living Out Feeling Beautiful

After years of going to church and striving to do good, finally understanding God’s love instantly transformed my life. I started acting different, dressing different, worshiping with abandon and opening myself up to my husband and to others. But like anything in life, real lasting transformation is a journey. Insecurities continue to creep back in. I have moments where I feel bold and confident sharing my body with my husband and at other times I struggle to believe that he really loves me. So I thought I would share some specific choices that help me to live out feeling beautiful.


Feeling Beautiful – God’s Amazing Transformation

My Transformation

In 2011, my life changed when I took a study on Song of Songs. Each week our assignment included reading Song of Songs out loud to ourselves and imagining that the Lover was really God speaking to us.  Over and over I read passages like,

How beautiful you are, my darling!
    Oh, how beautiful!
    Your eyes are doves.

And I would just cringe. Because I never ever considered that I was beautiful. I grew up climbing trees and playing baseball. The last thing that I was, was beautiful.


The Beauty of Our Vulva

God created women with amazing bodies. Our vaginas stretch large enough to birth a baby and still shrink to hug our husband’s penis. Breasts nurse our babies, provide hours of entertainment for our husband, and are sensitive enough to trigger an orgasm. Our clitoris created solely for our pleasure can provide a lifetime of new and pleasurable experiences. And yet, how many of us really know our vulva? Song of Songs 4:7 says, 

You are altogether beautiful, my darling;
    there is no flaw in you.

Early Messages

Girls and boys have completely different experiences discovering their bodies. When boys learn to go to the bathroom they form a very hands on relationship with their penis. A part of everyday life, their penis can quickly become a best friend. They know what it looks like, what it feels like, how it changes with temperature and what creates pleasure. Their penis, just a familiar part of their body doesn’t feel dirty or scary.


LIVE THE SONG – Stare at me

Song of Songs 1:5-7


How right they are to adore you!

Dark am I, yet lovely,
    daughters of Jerusalem,
dark like the tents of Kedar,
    like the tent curtains of Solomon.[c]
Do not stare at me because I am dark,
    because I am darkened by the sun.
My mother’s sons were angry with me
    and made me take care of the vineyards;
    my own vineyard I had to neglect.
Tell me, you whom I love,
    where you graze your flock
    and where you rest your sheep at midday.
Why should I be like a veiled woman
    beside the flocks of your friends

Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun.

It kind of jumps out at you, doesn’t it?