Feather Touches – Awaken and Entice her Body

Feather touches awaken our senses and cause every fiber of our body to stand on high alert waiting in anticipation. They are the softest of touches that whisper to us and ask for more. The gentle graze of fingers rustling the hair on an arm. The slow drawl of nails drawn across a palm. The whisper of the breeze through the hair. Feather touches contrast the stillness of solitude with luxurious connection that yearns for more.

God speaks to us through feather touches all the time…

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Tapping into the Senses for Better Sex

God created our bodies with amazing capabilities to taste, see, feel, hear and smell – and yet many of us miss out. Life is so busy, so garbled up, that instead of experiencing more, we experience less. Life is a blur and our senses become numb. We just move from place to place, keeping pace and yet missing out on so much.

Sometimes it takes intentional choices to create enough time and space to truly connect with God. I need to settle in, take a few deep breaths, release my thoughts and just be for a moment. If I want to encounter God, then I need to be still and listen for His voice. When I am out hiking, I ask God, “let me feel you”, or “let me see you”, and sometimes His answers blow me away. It takes time, it takes intentionality and it takes stretching your senses.

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Sensuous Massage

Giving or receiving a sensuous massage can be more vulnerable and intimate then having intercourse. To unveil yourself and relax into the touch of a spouse requires immense sureness and trust. Sensuous massage has been used for years by sex therapists as a launch pad for growth. It removes the intricacies and mechanics of sex and simply focuses on being present and experiencing what you feel.   If you want to relaunch or refocus your sex life, sensuous massage is a great place to start. (more…)

God’s call to Newness – The Seasons of Sex

We have made it through another long winter in Minnesota and Spring is in the air. God created the seasons as visible evidence that time passes – the old has gone, the new has come. Seasons are God’s reminder that he is not stagnant. He blesses us with fresh starts, shows us His abundant creation and calls us to something new. The change of seasons is also God’s call to newness in our sex life.

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Blindfold Him


If you want your husband to be more in tune with you during sex, a simple blindfold might be just the ticket. Men are visual. That is how God created them and it is a good thing. But sometimes if we want to stretch and experience life more fully, we need to take away our “go to” sense and challenge our bodies to learn something new. If you want your husband to be more in tune to touch, to use his words, to feel more subtle movements during intercourse, then it might be time to take away his sense of sight – at least for a while. And along the way, it might encourage new growth in you too.

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Personal Grooming

A little grooming can go a long ways for both husband and wife. We need to be oh so considerate of each other when we are intimate. That means fresh clean bodies, clean smooth hands, trimmed nails and yes maybe – groomed pubic hair. 

You can create new terrain and new sensations through grooming. Remove all your hair, leave a landing strip, or you can trim it. You can talk about it in advance or deliver a surprise wrapped in a bow. Dive all the way in, or gradually get your feet wet.

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Creative Date Ideas

One of the questions I ask women during class is, “What is something romantic that your husband could plan for you?”

I’ve heard all kinds of answers but was totally caught off guard when one woman said,

“Honestly, if I could just have some time alone – with no kids, no husband and no expectations.”

Pretty soon more women were jumping on board and sharing how even though they love it when their husband plans a special date, it always feels like it comes with strings attached. Instead of enjoying the night and being thankful for a husband that wants to romance them, they dread what is next.

How sad is that! Our husband tries to do something nice and we spend our night thinking, “Darn, he is going to expect sex tonight.”

We kind of do it to ourselves I suppose…

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Checking Him Out – Enjoying Your Eyes

A year ago, my husband decided he should start doing sit ups to flatten the small ponch that naturally forms around the waist of a 50 year old man. Every night after he is ready for bed, he lays down on his back to crunch out 30 sit ups. His morning routine begins the same way. At first I didn’t think much of it, but lately I have realized just how much I enjoy it.

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Sleep Aid

A few years ago my husband took a business trip to Taiwan for a couple of weeks. You can imagine how exhausted he felt when he got home after working in a strange city. Sleeping in a hotel bed and then traveling for 20 plus hours to get back to Minnesota wore him out. Add on top of that a 13-hour time change that left him wide awake when he most wanted to sleep and it sounds like a nightmare.

Back then, my drive was through the roof, so I got the bright idea to become his sleep aid. I made him promise that whenever he found himself wide awake in the middle of the night, he would rouse me for some extracurricular activities. We have never before transitioned so quickly back into life together and feeling connected. In no time he was back on his regular sleep schedule and we had made some wonderful memories.

This week I was reminded of my great experiment – being the sleep aid.

My husband lost his brother last week to liver failure and has been dealing with all the hard choices that come with aging parents. Needless to say, he has a ton of things on his mind and timidly admitted he has not been sleeping well, at all. I wish I could take away all of his pain and wrestling, but I can’t. I wish I could say something to make it better, but words seem so inadequate. But I can keep loving him, and comfort him, and help him sleep. And so for a while, I have made myself available to my husband whenever he needs me. In fact I have admonished him – please wake me – because I don’t want him doing this on his own. And hopefully, it will bring him the sleep he needs.

Touch Through the Layers

Before you got married, do you remember how hot you got when all you could do was touch each other through layers of clothes?

Taking advantage of a fabric barrier can be a great way to change things up. Feeling thru fabric can tease, entice, create new sensations and just plain be fun!

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