Most women understand how critical the moments are just before orgasm. In an instant we can go from being “right there”, to “dang it, what happened!” When we have to, we can learn to roll with the punches and circle around to take another run at it. But when husbands understand the critical moments before orgasm, they can increase the odds their wife finishes the first round.
The easiest way for a husband to tune into the ways his wife’s body is during during manual or oral stimulation. So though the principles translate to intercourse, our discussion will be in terms of manual or oral stimulation.
Recognizing the Moment
Husbands need to recognize when their wife reaches the critical moments just before orgasm. While feeling her with either your mouth or your hands, you will notice subtle changes that indicate, her body is at the critical moment. For some women the inner lips will flatten out and suddenly become silky smooth. Some men might notice the color of her inner labia change from pink to red, or red to dark red. The most obvious evidence is the disappearance of the clitoral head. Just before orgasm, as the clitoris becomes more engorged and more sensitive, it suddenly retracts behind the skin. This is the critical moment.
Stay Steady
Whatever you were doing when she got here, keep doing it – like clockwork. Avoid some of the common mistakes men make in making love to their wife. When you get excited that she’s close, resist moving faster or harder, just stay steady. Don’t panic when her clitoris disappears and think you need to go to town on her, just stick with what was working. Make sure you’re paying attention to her body so that you don’t shift gears at the worst time. When her clitoris hides stay with her. You are right there. Whatever you do, don’t lose connection to her. Maintain contact with whatever you were stimulating to get her there.
Add A Booster
While maintaining the foundation of stimulation, interject enticements to help her tumble over the top. You might gently squeeze her nipples to launch her over the top. Speaking reassuring words of, “you are so beautiful” or “just let go” might catapult her. Or maybe in the midst of your steady foundation of stimulation, you circle back to tease and tantalize other sensitive areas creating a spark or light ripple that contrasts with the deep intense connection you are holding onto.
Final Thoughts
Recognizing your wife’s critical moment is the first step in helping her finish strong. If you have no idea what I am talking about, ask your wife. At some point, she is “right there”, and unlike you, she can lose it in a moment. She can help by using a simple phrase like, “don’t stop” to communicate when she’s at the critical moment. Observe her body, her breath, her composure, and tune into her clues so that you can help her finish. Keep doing whatever you were doing to get her there – like clock work. While maintaining the connection, add a booster to take her over the edge, and watch the fireworks fly.
The Author
My wife used to get so aggravated with me for stopping to soon, she finally had to teach me this same lesson years ago. For most men, we don’t know until she tells us what we need to do. I had to explain some things to my wife that she didn’t know either about what how our bodies work. So communication is critical. Thanks
Mj,
Thanks for joining in on the conversation. Yes, so often it comes down to communication.
I largely agree except for the “stay steady” part. Some of us prefer faster and harder at that point. Which gets to your overall thought – which is communication. Tell him what you like and when you need it in this critical period!
I agree, my wife would put her hand on my fingers, hands or draw my head in closer to apply more pressure or for me to go faster, she can communicate to me without saying one word!! I love knowing what she wants.
I had the exact same thought as Married Sally about the Stay Steady part. But then, that could be individual preference. Great tips overall!