christian sex

RUNNING START

by Ruth Buezis
May 18, 2015July 17, 2017
4 Comments

Having an orgasm is like jumping off of a cliff – sometimes you need to step back, take a deep breath, and take a running start at it.

Most summers, over the 4th of July, you will find my family relaxing at our church camp, Covenant Pines. One of my favorite activities is the huge rope swing. You jump off a platform and swing over the water to drop into refreshment.

I love the feel of swinging through the air and then letting go to plunge in, but jumping off the platform is hard. I am afraid of heights and if I think about it too much, I could easily turn around. Sometimes people get stuck right at the edge, clutching the rope and thinking about all the things that could go wrong. They try to will themselves to go, but their bodies won’t move. At this point, it is time for a different strategy.

Sometimes you need to take a few steps back from the edge, relax from holding onto the rope so tight, take a deep breath, and then take a running start at it.

One, Two , Three – Go!!!

With the conviction of “I am going to do this”, and feet running forward, their body launches into one of the funnest experiences of the summer.

Sometimes, when we get stuck at the edge of an orgasm, we need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and take a running start at it.

THE NEXT GENERATION

by Ruth Buezis
May 13, 2015September 22, 2016
2 Comments

I probably know too much…

I hear the pain of a bride that saved herself until marriage, met the man of her dreams, fell in love, and fully gave herself to him. I hear the pain of finding out her young husband isn’t all that interested in sex because years ago he had been seduced by the images in pornography. He would rather spend time with a screen than learn how to love his wife.

I hear the pain of a young mom once again answering to the effects of sexual abuse at the hands of her uncle. She thought she had dealt with it, but the pain in her voice and tears on her face say something else. Now with young children, the burden of protecting them rips open her wound in a new place.

I hear the cries of a generation growing up where living together before marriage is the answer to growing up in a broken home. Marriage is reserved as a capstone after experiencing as much of life as you can before settling down to the boring regimen of marriage to raise a family.

I hear the regret of the girl that succumbed to the power of turning a man’s head by using her body to feel loved, desired and needed. Struggling to find freedom with the man that God has now bound her to in marriage, she repents and asks God to erase the memories and make her new.

I hear the pain of growing up in a generation where watching porn as a couple is normal. Instead of making sex better by increasing intimacy, you make sex better by adding some new thrill or even person.

I hear the pain of living in a world where even pictures from phones can be photo shopped to remove your wrinkles and blemishes. No longer are you just comparing yourself to the stars in the magazines, but to your friends posting on Facebook.

LIVE THE SONG – THE CARRIAGE

by Ruth Buezis
May 7, 2015September 22, 2016

Song of Songs 3:6-11

She

⁶Who is this coming up from the wilderness
    like a column of smoke,
perfumed with myrrh and incense
    made from all the spices of the merchant?
⁷Look! It is Solomon’s carriage,
    escorted by sixty warriors,
    the noblest of Israel,
⁸all of them wearing the sword,
    all experienced in battle,
each with his sword at his side,
    prepared for the terrors of the night.
⁹King Solomon made for himself the carriage;
    he made it of wood from Lebanon.
¹⁰Its posts he made of silver,
    its base of gold.
Its seat was upholstered with purple,
    its interior inlaid with love.
Daughters of Jerusalem, ¹¹come out,
    and look, you daughters of Zion.
Look on King Solomon wearing a crown,
    the crown with which his mother crowned him
on the day of his wedding,
    the day his heart rejoiced.

My husband loves cars. I could point to any car that we pass and he could tell me the make and model. He watches car races, he reads about cars and he reads about the people that race cars. He simply loves cars.

Read More »LIVE THE SONG – THE CARRIAGE

The Good News

by Ruth Buezis
May 6, 2015September 22, 2016
1 Comment

One of my favorite authors on sex, David Schnarch, says what determines our response during sex is a composite of three things – physical sensations, emotional connection, and our feelings about sex. Once you understand what this means, you will realize that as we age, we have many choices in determining whether sex gets better every year, or it completely falls off the map.

GREAT EXPECTATIONS – The Importance of Our Mind During Intercourse

by Ruth Buezis
April 27, 2015September 13, 2021
2 Comments

The last 8 weeks we’ve been talking about How to have an orgasm during intercourse, and much of that time we’ve been talking about very physical aspects of sex.

Week 1 – the realities of orgasm during intercourse and ground rules

Week 2 – the importance of kegels for both him and her

Week 3 – the importance of talking about sex and how to do it

Week 4 – how to train our bodies to become more flexible in their responsiveness

Week 5 – the 3 main pathways for women to experience orgasm during intercourse

Week 6 – what our husbands can do to help in this journey

Week 7 – harnessing the power of the mind

Week 8 – the most successful positions and movements to have an orgasm during intercourse

It is important not to get lost in the technique and miss out on connecting with our spouse. If we are so focused on what the next move will be, or worrying about whether something is working, than are we really there? Are we really connecting?

FOLLOW UP

by Ruth Buezis
April 14, 2015September 22, 2016

My surgery was super easy. Now I am just trying to stay patient as I allow the incisions in my vagina to heal and the… Read More »FOLLOW UP

MIND OVER MATTER

by Ruth Buezis
April 12, 2015September 13, 2021

One of the things that made the biggest difference in my ability to enjoy intercourse was my mind. Women hear that the mind is our biggest sex organ and most of us agree. How many of us put that reality to use, and transform our sexual experiences by engaging our mind?

It is not uncommon to hear young brides express their confusion when the one thing that they have so carefully guarded, intercourse, does absolutely nothing for them. Some have masturbated and know the pleasure of orgasm and expect that intercourse will be the most magical experience. Instead they are left feeling confused and disillusioned.

I remember my young husband asking after intercourse, “Did you feel anything?”, and thinking to myself, “Not really”. It’s not that intercourse felt painful, it just literally did not feel like anything. Eventually I believed this was just how it was going to be. We practiced the “she comes first” mantra and for years it worked for us.

So what changed?

The change – Hysterectomy

by Ruth Buezis
April 1, 2015September 22, 2016

My doctor could tell I was anemic before she even tested me. Unaware of the result of a gradual worsening of my periods, feeling tired and slow became my norm. I will never forget the day that I ended up in the hospital because of a flow that literally poured out of me. Of course by the time I was seen, the flow had slowed to manageable. This was the start of my initiation into peri-menopause, that cursed period of life when you have no control over your own body.

CRAVE your husband

by Ruth Buezis
March 15, 2015September 22, 2016
4 Comments

My husband and I have always had a good marriage, and once we got things figured out, our sex life was good – but it… Read More »CRAVE your husband

Flexibility Training for Orgasms

by Ruth Buezis
March 8, 2015September 13, 2021
3 Comments

God created women with amazing minds and bodies that can learn how to respond sexually in countless ways. To work towards having an orgasm during intercourse, we need to become more flexible in how and what we respond to.

Learned Response

Just like playing different songs on the piano takes practice, so does responding sexually. If you practiced chop sticks an hour every day for a year, you would get very good at chop sticks, but you would struggle to play any other song. To play piano well you must practice different scales, different songs and at different tempos. Eventually piano players can become so proficient that they no longer depend on the music, but can play freely from memory, or ear.

Orgasm is a learned response to what our body finds enjoyable. The first time we experience something, our body may not recognize it as something that enjoyable. As we anticipate good things and we build positive experiences, our body responds accordingly.

Although this article could be helpful for anyone, it is part of a series “How to have an orgasm during intercourse”. If you are working towards that goal, please make sure that you read my previous articles The Big Question, His and Her Kegels and Talk about What?

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christian sex

RUNNING START

Sometimes, when we get stuck at the edge of an orgasm, we need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and take a running start at it.

Like this:

THE NEXT GENERATION

Like this:

LIVE THE SONG – THE CARRIAGE

Like this:

The Good News

Like this:

GREAT EXPECTATIONS – The Importance of Our Mind During Intercourse

It is important not to get lost in the technique and miss out on connecting with our spouse. If we are so focused on what the next move will be, or worrying about whether something is working, than are we really there? Are we really connecting?

Like this:

FOLLOW UP

Like this:

MIND OVER MATTER

Like this:

The change – Hysterectomy

Like this:

CRAVE your husband

Like this:

Flexibility Training for Orgasms

Learned Response

Like this:

Buy the book

christian sex

Sometimes, when we get stuck at the edge of an orgasm, we need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and take a running start at it.

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

It is important not to get lost in the technique and miss out on connecting with our spouse. If we are so focused on what the next move will be, or worrying about whether something is working, than are we really there? Are we really connecting?

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Learned Response

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Buy the book