Ruth Buezis

Disappointment

by Ruth Buezis
May 11, 2015September 22, 2016

It was another one of “those times” – when I wasn’t interested in a plan B – but instead found my disappointment pouring out like a raging river of sobs. Failing to orgasm during intercourse, I curled into a ball and all” those” reasons started pouring through my head.

If I would just relax more….

If I wasn’t so controlling….

If I wasn’t so focused on orgasm….

If I could just surrender….

As if deep down, I believed Freud’s theory that the only mature orgasm was a vaginal orgasm. Maybe I did have deep psychological hang ups that kept me from experiencing the pleasure of intercourse with my husband.

LIVE THE SONG – THE CARRIAGE

by Ruth Buezis
May 7, 2015September 22, 2016

Song of Songs 3:6-11

She

⁶Who is this coming up from the wilderness
    like a column of smoke,
perfumed with myrrh and incense
    made from all the spices of the merchant?
⁷Look! It is Solomon’s carriage,
    escorted by sixty warriors,
    the noblest of Israel,
⁸all of them wearing the sword,
    all experienced in battle,
each with his sword at his side,
    prepared for the terrors of the night.
⁹King Solomon made for himself the carriage;
    he made it of wood from Lebanon.
¹⁰Its posts he made of silver,
    its base of gold.
Its seat was upholstered with purple,
    its interior inlaid with love.
Daughters of Jerusalem, ¹¹come out,
    and look, you daughters of Zion.
Look on King Solomon wearing a crown,
    the crown with which his mother crowned him
on the day of his wedding,
    the day his heart rejoiced.

My husband loves cars. I could point to any car that we pass and he could tell me the make and model. He watches car races, he reads about cars and he reads about the people that race cars. He simply loves cars.

Read More »LIVE THE SONG – THE CARRIAGE

The Good News

by Ruth Buezis
May 6, 2015September 22, 2016
1 Comment

One of my favorite authors on sex, David Schnarch, says what determines our response during sex is a composite of three things – physical sensations, emotional connection, and our feelings about sex. Once you understand what this means, you will realize that as we age, we have many choices in determining whether sex gets better every year, or it completely falls off the map.

Sexual Thoughts

by Ruth Buezis
May 4, 2015September 22, 2016
4 Comments

I had the honor of hearing Shannon Ethridge speak at a marriage ministry conference in Dallas a couple of weeks ago. Shannon has been a huge advocate for healthy sexuality for years and she is full of spice and life. Her book, The Sexually Confident Wife, changed my life as it clearly communicated how important sex should be to wives and how much fun and enjoyment we should have.

The breakout session that I attended with Shannon was based on her book The Fantasy Fallacy. She started with some very foundational questions.

GREAT EXPECTATIONS – The Importance of Our Mind During Intercourse

by Ruth Buezis
April 27, 2015September 13, 2021
2 Comments

The last 8 weeks we’ve been talking about How to have an orgasm during intercourse, and much of that time we’ve been talking about very physical aspects of sex.

Week 1 – the realities of orgasm during intercourse and ground rules

Week 2 – the importance of kegels for both him and her

Week 3 – the importance of talking about sex and how to do it

Week 4 – how to train our bodies to become more flexible in their responsiveness

Week 5 – the 3 main pathways for women to experience orgasm during intercourse

Week 6 – what our husbands can do to help in this journey

Week 7 – harnessing the power of the mind

Week 8 – the most successful positions and movements to have an orgasm during intercourse

It is important not to get lost in the technique and miss out on connecting with our spouse. If we are so focused on what the next move will be, or worrying about whether something is working, than are we really there? Are we really connecting?

REMEMBER

by Ruth Buezis
April 21, 2015September 13, 2021
4 Comments

I just reached the three year anniversary of teaching Awaken Love classes to wives and it has me feeling more than a little emotional and sentimental. We were sharing today in bible study how important it is to look back and REMEMBER and to see how God has worked. So today, I look back and REMEMBER.

POSITIONS AND MOVEMENT FOR ORGASM DURING INTERCOURSE

by Ruth Buezis
April 19, 2015September 13, 2021
4 Comments

If I discovered a magic position that all women would experience an orgasm during intercourse, then I would be a millionaire. I wish it were that simple. No magic position exists, but as we get to know ourselves and each other, we can learn to move in ways that target pleasure spots.

There are really only a handful of different positions but modifying them in small ways can make a huge difference in how they stimulate our bodies. Recognizing which pathway we are trying to stimulate – clitoral, G-spot, or Deep spot – will help us capitalize on the kind of movement that works best. Let’s approach this according to which pathway we are targeting. For the purpose of keying into what feels good, I would suggest that you limit other stimulation for the time being.

Although this article could be helpful for anyone, it is part of a series “How to have an orgasm during intercourse”. If you are working towards that goal, please make sure that you read my previous articles The Big Question, His and Her Kegels, Talk about What?, Flexibility Training, Different Pathways, The Man Factor, and Mind over Matter

LIVE THE SONG – UNTIL THE DAY BREAKS

by Ruth Buezis
April 16, 2015September 22, 2016
1 Comment

Song of Songs 2:16-17 She 16 My beloved is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies. 17 Until the day breaks and the shadows… Read More »LIVE THE SONG – UNTIL THE DAY BREAKS

FOLLOW UP

by Ruth Buezis
April 14, 2015September 22, 2016

My surgery was super easy. Now I am just trying to stay patient as I allow the incisions in my vagina to heal and the… Read More »FOLLOW UP

MIND OVER MATTER

by Ruth Buezis
April 12, 2015September 13, 2021

One of the things that made the biggest difference in my ability to enjoy intercourse was my mind. Women hear that the mind is our biggest sex organ and most of us agree. How many of us put that reality to use, and transform our sexual experiences by engaging our mind?

It is not uncommon to hear young brides express their confusion when the one thing that they have so carefully guarded, intercourse, does absolutely nothing for them. Some have masturbated and know the pleasure of orgasm and expect that intercourse will be the most magical experience. Instead they are left feeling confused and disillusioned.

I remember my young husband asking after intercourse, “Did you feel anything?”, and thinking to myself, “Not really”. It’s not that intercourse felt painful, it just literally did not feel like anything. Eventually I believed this was just how it was going to be. We practiced the “she comes first” mantra and for years it worked for us.

So what changed?

Ruth Buezis

Disappointment

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LIVE THE SONG – THE CARRIAGE

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The Good News

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Sexual Thoughts

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GREAT EXPECTATIONS – The Importance of Our Mind During Intercourse

It is important not to get lost in the technique and miss out on connecting with our spouse. If we are so focused on what the next move will be, or worrying about whether something is working, than are we really there? Are we really connecting?

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REMEMBER

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POSITIONS AND MOVEMENT FOR ORGASM DURING INTERCOURSE

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LIVE THE SONG – UNTIL THE DAY BREAKS

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FOLLOW UP

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MIND OVER MATTER

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Ruth Buezis

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Sharing is Caring

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Sharing is Caring

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It is important not to get lost in the technique and miss out on connecting with our spouse. If we are so focused on what the next move will be, or worrying about whether something is working, than are we really there? Are we really connecting?

Sharing is Caring

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Sharing is Caring

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Sharing is Caring

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Sharing is Caring

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Sharing is Caring

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Sharing is Caring

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Buy the book