A woman from class shared that a friend confided recent episodes of urinary incontinence during sex. Even though bladder control wasn’t an issue at other times, she was concerned enough to make an appointment at the doctor. I immediately suspected the real source of the fluid as Female Ejaculation. Just like this woman, few of us understand our bodies and the responses it is capable of during sex.
” I’m learning so much and hope to be able to use what I’ve learned one day. I will pass the information on to my daughters to hopefully prevent them from making the same mistakes I have made. Thank you so very much for your class. I wish I had found it earlier in my marriage, or even a couple of years ago. We would be in a different place I am sure.” former student
Sometimes women whose marriage is in crisis sign up for an Awaken-Love class on the advice of their marriage counselor. Years of neglect and damage lead them to a desperate attempt to salvage their marriage. With nothing left to lose, they sit through six weeks of discovering God’s desire for their marriage bed. All the while wishing they had known the truth earlier or done something sooner.
Edge of the Bed is a great oral sex position for your wife and will provide a great view for you. The position provides great… Read More »Oral Sex for Your Wife at The Edge of the Bed
When I spoke at a moms group the other day, a few women lingered to ask questions. After beating around the bush, one of the women finally had the courage to get to the crux of her situation.“You talk about how sex is supposed to be this amazing connecting experience. But honestly, I don’t really feel connected afterwards at all. Sex just seems so mechanical and not intimate.”
I suspect many women relate to what she expressed. Sex with our husband can feel mechanical. The constant movement of our husband can almost make us feel dizzy. Instead of feeling more, we feel less. We can seem like two separate people going through the motions striving to get to the finish line. Even if we experience pleasure or orgasm, we don’t necessarily feel connected to our husband afterwards.
Physical response does not equate to connection. We can fantasize our way to orgasm while in two completely different worlds. Or we could simply over ride the lack of connection with an intensity of physical stimulation. A loving husband distracted by thoughts of what to do next or his own performance can even be completely clueless to his wife’s discomfort. Orgasm without intimacy can feel empty and lonely.
I had the pleasure of joining Dr. Jessica McCleese for a webinar called Claiming the Gift of Sex. We talked about some of the differences… Read More »Webinar – Claiming the Gift of Sex with Dr. Jessica McCleese
I have this theory that in many marriages, wives train their husband not to initiate sex until we give the signal that we are open for business. We like to control our lives, including when and where we have sex. So, we develop subtle, or not so subtle signals. Maybe we linger as we kiss, or we touch more than usual, or we just tell him, “do you want to have sex tonight?” And our husband simply waits.
I love coconut oil. Using it has helped me with the challenges that come along with menopause and does wonders for my dry skin in the Winter season. But even more importantly, I love using coconut oil on my husband. Gliding around to do a pelvic massage has helped me to really loosen him up so that he can experience a whole new world.
Sex driven solely by our husband’s penis just touches the tip of the iceberg when it comes to his pleasure. We need to engage his entire body through connected touch. He has the potential to experience so much more pleasure than the explosive desperate release that his penis drives for. But we have to teach him to relax his body including his pelvic area and to linger and enjoy the entire journey.
As women, we can feel like everything about sex comes easily for our husband. How come our steely eyed husband can survive bad messages, straying into porn, or years of poor choices with no impact on their sex life? But the more I’ve taught men, and the more growth I’ve experienced in my own marriage, the more I’ve realized baggage does impact our husband. He may not readily admit or easily recognize baggage, but it’s there.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to speak at a moms group in the Twin Cities. Several women took the Awaken-Love class 9 months ago and recommended that I speak on sex. While there, I got to reconnect with the women and hear the lasting impact from class.
One woman shared how eye opening the class felt when many of her assumptions about sex and about her husband did not align with God’s word. Even though she had grown up in the church and remained active, she never felt like they had provided any real answers. Left to her own assumptions and influenced by silence, awkward talks, and cultural messages, she landed where most women do – sex as an obligation to fulfill her husband’s needs. Conversation in class about God’s real intent for sex had literally shifted her mindset 180 degrees and continues to impact her marriage and attitude today.
Sometimes all you need to create a little excitement is to change the pace. The other night my husband and I went to bed early while two of our grown daughters watched TV down stairs. As most of you know, I am all about creating connection by using words during sex, but this night we changed things up by creating excitement through silence.
With the twinkle lights dimly lighting the room I started my move. The moment my husband tried to say anything, I quickly shushed him. Not quite sure what was going on, my husband tried again and without using any words, I quietly urged him, “Shhhh”. While he laid back contemplating what happened to his wife, I tuned into to the touch of his skin. As the mystery of the night built I softly touched my finger to his lips, looked into his eyes and reminded him one more time. The silence was almost deafening as he recognized with sudden realization what the evening held.
After years of buying into the same old messages about sex, Ruth went searching for God’s truth and discovered something radically different. By sharing her own journey to sexual freedom and the stories of the women she’s taught, you will come away with a new mindset about sex and a deep-seated belief that God designed each of us unique, special – and created for delights.
Copyright © Ruth Buezis, Awaken-Love and Christian Sex Class, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s authors and/or owners is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Awaken-Love with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
