Don’t Let Sexuality Become Your God

I recently heard an interview on Sexy Marriage Radio about a woman whose story sounded similar to mine. A married engineer that spent years devaluing sex in marriage knew something needed change. While looking for answers, she discovered how much just talking to other women about sex encouraged her. This wife has since quit her job and devoted herself to helping women embrace their sexuality. Though on the surface our stories have an uncanny resemblance, our lives and mission differ drastically. God defines who I am, and what I do – not my sexuality.

Awaken

As I read her blog from the beginning, I related to many of her posts as her sexuality began to awaken. She wrote about learning to breathe until she felt it all the way “down there”. Rather than letting life pass by, she slowed down to savor small things like tasting the juiciness of a ripe strawberry. Communication opened up in her marriage, she realized lies about sex that impacted her, and she sought to understand her body. She even started a monthly meeting with 4 friends to help process how their past impacted their present and to spur each other on in growth. But what this woman did not have was God’s good boundaries to guide and protect her as she embraced her sexuality.

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by Ruth Buezis February 21, 2019

Reclaiming sex like the Garden of Eden

Have you ever thought about what sex looked like in the Garden of Eden? I imagine the first time Adam saw Eve, he was instantly mesmerized. Someone finally like him! Yet her differences were what really caught his eye. The curves of her body, the softness of her skin, even the way that she walked and talked.

Adam must have had a hard time keeping his eyes off of Eve as her body magnetically drew him. When he gently reached to touch her, the curves of her body fit perfectly into his hands. Unafraid, Eve trusted him and immediately relaxed into his touch. Gently he explored and caressed listening for the purr of her satisfaction.

The more Adam touched her, the more Eve’s body woke up and became hungry for him. As his body covered her, the wetness drew him into her. Suddenly aware of becoming “one”, he laid still for a moment, in awe of what had happened. As she gently smiled at him and they looked into each other’s eyes, they slowly began to move together until eventually they fell into a puddle of each other.

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by Ruth Buezis December 3, 2018

Creating Intimacy will Cause You to Depend on God

Working on my sex life has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. Creating real intimacy, where I let my husband really know me, has caused me to depend on God.

I remember one night in particular about 6 years ago, when I felt frustrated with our lack of connection. As my husband snored, I lay awake tossing and turning, and finally dragged myself out of bed. I slipped on my coat, pulled my boots up, and went out to shovel the foot of fluffy white snow blanketing our driveway. As I blew off steam, my head replayed over and over the events that evening. Shoveling brought release, and the beauty of the snow softened my heart until I suddenly realized I was singing worship songs. And in an instant, a light bulb went off in my head.

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by Ruth Buezis July 25, 2018

What Wine Can Teach Us About Enjoying Sex

Women in class commonly share that wine helps them get in the mood for sex. A little wine helps them to not only relax and let go of the stress and worries, but it helps them feel less inhibited. These women know that the best sex happens when they let loose. But is it possible that we could learn to relax, feel sensuous, and express ourselves, even without a glass of wine to help? Maybe God wants to use sex to teach us about life.

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by Ruth Buezis June 28, 2018

Talking About Sex in the Church

The church is long overdue in opening up conversations surrounding sex. We need to talk about the importance of creating a great sex life in marriage. But equally important, we need to help singles navigate a world saturated in porn and hook up sex. We also need to answer questions about raising kids in a world where LGBT fills the news. The church can no longer remain silent while the world continues to scream at us about sex. We have to start talking about sex in the church.

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by Ruth Buezis June 1, 2018

God’s Design for Equal Roles in the Marriage Bed

I write all the time about how God created sex for wives as much husbands. In Song of Songs, the beloved and the lover play equal roles in the marriage bed. Just having sex for the sake of your husband is not what God intended, and definitely not what your husband yearns for. But God’s plans for equal roles is not just about equality, I believe God has a plan for us. God wants husbands and wives to play equal roles in the marriage bed because we both have something to bring to the table.

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by Ruth Buezis May 17, 2018

Is Sex an Amazing Connecting Experience?

When I spoke at a moms group the other day, a few women lingered to ask questions. After beating around the bush, one of the women finally had the courage to get to the crux of her situation.“You talk about how sex is supposed to be this amazing connecting experience. But honestly, I don’t really feel connected afterwards at all. Sex just seems so mechanical and not intimate.”

I suspect many women relate to what she expressed. Sex with our husband can feel mechanical. The constant movement of our husband can almost make us feel dizzy. Instead of feeling more, we feel less. We can seem like two separate people going through the motions striving to get to the finish line. Even if we experience pleasure or orgasm, we don’t necessarily feel connected to our husband afterwards.

Physical response does not equate to connection. We can fantasize our way to orgasm while in two completely different worlds. Or we could simply over ride the lack of connection with an intensity of physical stimulation. A loving husband distracted by thoughts of what to do next or his own performance can even be completely clueless to his wife’s discomfort. Orgasm without intimacy can feel empty and lonely.

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by Ruth Buezis February 12, 2018

Beyond Purity – Living with Sexual Integrity

Our world has drastically changed in the last 30 years. The internet provides endless knowledge, opinions and images – both positive and negative. Definitions for marriage and sexuality continue to morph as culture changes. We live in a fast-paced world constantly bombarded with sexual messages. And most churches have failed to respond to the challenges and real questions that people face. Rather than focusing on sexual purity we need to strive to equip people to live with sexual integrity, no matter our age or marital status. God creates us as sexual beings from the day we were born until the day we die. Rather than a sprint for purity that we win or lose, we must strive to live with sexual integrity every day of our life.

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by Ruth Buezis January 4, 2018

God Sized Dreams for 2018

On New Year’s Eve I sat down with my pen and notebook to think about the coming year. What do I want to accomplish in 2018? Underneath the heading “Goals for 2018” I wrote things like

Finish book – edit, create diagrams and illustrations, come up with a cover
Ask other bloggers to promote video class – ask to guest post or do interviews
Sell Awaken-Love T-shirts – set up online store
Work on Men’s curriculum
Create new promo card for video classes

These are all good goals, but honestly, they are all things I can do on my own. If I just put my nose to the grindstone, I can make them happen. And I realized, that I don’t just want Ruth sized goals. I want God sized dreams. I want to ask God for things that I could not begin to do on my own, that I can’t even imagine, things that only He can accomplish. So, I started over with a new list and this is what I am asking God for in the coming year.

Hopes and Dreams for 2018

Fill my writing, speaking and teaching with a passion that comes from You
Give me a renewed freedom in worshipping you and in praying over others
Give me a focus, direction and conviction that only comes from You
Keep my heart soft and break my heart for the broken
Fill me with boldness and courage to ask for opportunities far beyond myself
Bless me with laughter, adventure and wonder
Help me to create community through the Awaken-Love blog that will lead to growth, healing and restoration
Help me to care for and nurture the Awaken-Love teachers and facilitators.

As you sit down to think about the coming year, don’t settle for goals you can accomplish on your own. Dream big.

What do you really want that only God can do?

How do you want God to change you?

by Ruth Buezis January 1, 2018

My Prayer for the Upcoming Year

God spoke to me this week through Psalm 95:8

The Lord says, “Don’t harden your hearts as Israel did at Meribah, as they did at Massah in the wilderness.”

God made it very plain to me that my heart has become hard – cynical, calloused and missing out on His wonder. It has been a long hard year and I feel like I am finally starting to feel the winds of change. I don’t know if you can relate to this or not, but I am ready for God to do a work. So if you want, join me in asking…

Oh God, soften my heart.

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by Ruth Buezis December 7, 2017

Category: Foundational Truths

Don’t Let Sexuality Become Your God

Awaken

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Reclaiming sex like the Garden of Eden

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Creating Intimacy will Cause You to Depend on God

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What Wine Can Teach Us About Enjoying Sex

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Talking About Sex in the Church

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God’s Design for Equal Roles in the Marriage Bed

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Is Sex an Amazing Connecting Experience?

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Beyond Purity – Living with Sexual Integrity

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God Sized Dreams for 2018

Hopes and Dreams for 2018

What do you really want that only God can do?

How do you want God to change you?

Like this:

My Prayer for the Upcoming Year

Oh God, soften my heart.

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Buy the book

Category: Foundational Truths

Awaken

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Hopes and Dreams for 2018

What do you really want that only God can do?

How do you want God to change you?

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Oh God, soften my heart.

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