Creative Ideas Archives - Page 3 of 6

Awakening to the Passion of a Quickie

Most women know what a quickie is, and it usually has more to do with serving our husband than anything else. Somewhere between the exhaustion of washing the last of the dishes and the early pitter-patter of little feet, we realize that our husband has been neglected, and we squeeze out one last bit of energy to take care of him. Our head really isn’t in the game because we figure that with so little time, odds are, we are not going to get there anyway.

Now here’s the question… is it possible, that we could enjoy a quickie too? Is it possible that the reason we don’t get there, is because our heads have already decided there is not enough time? What about letting go of the practicalities of the known, and experiencing the passion of the unknown. Could we allow our bodies to dive into the deep end, instead of tip toeing from the wading pool as we acclimate to the temperature of the water?

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by Ruth Buezis November 20, 2017

Small Intentional Choices Create a Great Sex Life

Small things make a huge impact on my sex life. Intentional choices that don’t take a whole lot of time or energy. Simple things like paying attention to my bedroom, taking care of myself and cultivating connection, help keep sex on the front burner. Things that anyone can do.

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by Ruth Buezis November 14, 2017

How to Tantalize Your Husband

I find it amusing the different ways my body catches my husband’s eye. As if I am his own personal eye candy just trying to tantalize him. Most of the time I have no idea what he’s enjoying until he tells me. Years ago, I might have felt violated, embarrassed or confused. But now I kind of love it! Maybe I need to start watching for ways to catch his eye on purpose.

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by Ruth Buezis October 16, 2017

A Christian App – Ultimate Intimacy

I am excited to review and recommend a Christian App called Ultimate Intimacy. My husband and I spent a weekend sampling the articles, discussing the conversation starters and testing out the game. The next morning I woke up to a note from my husband, “Let’s play it again tonight. I go first!” Let’s just say Ultimate Intimacy was a hit in my house.

Ultimate Intimacy was designed by two Christian couples to strengthen marriages, fight pornography addiction and reduce the divorce rate. They believe that sex in marriage should be amazing for both the husband and the wife, and be incredibly bonding. They created the Ultimate Intimacy APP to be fun, respectful, easy to use and to treat sex as something sacred.

If you feel stuck in a rut, don’t know how to start creating intimacy in your marriage, or are looking for a fun idea for your upcoming date night then check out the Ultimate Intimacy APP. The easy navigation toggles between a super fun Game, helpful Resources, Conversation Starters, respectful Positions (Androids Only for now) and Products to help turn up the heat.

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by Ruth Buezis October 2, 2017

The Power of Sharing Initiation

My husband and I figured out the importance of taking turns initiating sex, but it hasn’t always been this way.

Last week I shared a post written several years ago, Different Sex Drives, about when we struggled because I became the higher drive spouse. All of a sudden, I had a new understanding of what my husband had dealt with for years. I wanted to feel desired and wanted. When I always ended up reaching for him before he reached for me, it caused me to question my husband’s love. Initiation makes us feel wanted.

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by Ruth Buezis August 3, 2017

Cultivating a Beginner’s Mindset

Learning Something New

Do you remember the excitement of learning to do something new? I remember the year I learned to snowboard. It was so hard, I could hardly figure out how to stand up, much less actually ride down the hill. I was so excited when I finally rode down the hill, swaying from edge to edge and feeling the wind in my hair. I was like a little kid. That night, my body was beat up and sore, but I dreamed about riding. It is still exciting. Every time I go out, it is a new fresh experience, with new bumps and turns and challenges. It never gets old.

Beginner’s Mindset

Proverbs 5:19 says “may you always be captivated by her love”. Marriage is intended to be a lifetime of being captivated by each other. When we have a beginners mindset, our lover never becomes boring, because each time is new. We allow ourselves to travel down paths that we have not traveled before and to be open to new possibilities. We extend grace to ourselves and to our husbands, not expecting that things will always go smoothly, because we are a beginner at what our bodies call us to that day. We don’t fear getting bruised, because with it, we know that we will learn something new about each other. What a great way to spend a lifetime getting to know each other.

Your mission this week, is to cultivate a beginners mindset in your marriage bed. Explore your husband in a new way, open to a new path, experience something for the very first time and allow yourself the grace of being a beginner.

Originally Published as Sex 101- Cultivating a Beginner’s Mindset on April 11, 2014

by Ruth Buezis July 13, 2017

Expectations – Shoulds and Should Nots

Expectations about sex create pressure that sabotages intimacy. Whether you worry about what you “should do” or what you “shouldn’t do”, expectations prevent you from enjoying the moment.

“Should Nots”

As a woman that grew up in church, there were plenty of “Should nots” that were implied about sex .

Don’t do it till you’re married
Christians don’t talk about it
Good girls don’t do those things
Don’t think about it

“Shoulds”

“Shoulds” come from all kinds of sources, our parents, our church, and the world. They cover us with expectations preventing us from becoming the person God created us to be. We begin living what others say we are instead of the unique individual He created. We limit what we can allow ourselves to experience because of the “should” in our head. In our sexuality we reveal so much of who we are. If we let the “should” hold us back, than we will never really “know” each other. So what do we do?

Steps to Eliminate Expectations

Step 1- Identify the “should” or “should not”.

Step 2 – Measure it against God’s Truth and intention for our marriage bed. Throw out what is not within his safe boundaries

Step 3 – Try it on for size. Sometimes you don’t know if you might enjoy something until you take it for a test drive

Step 4 – Decide if it is really who you are. Be true to who God created you to be

Is it possible that getting rid of all the “shoulds” in sex, is a bit like having a relationship with God. Instead of trying to be good or follow the rules, we choose to fall hopelessly in love with Him. Trusting that when we let go of control and worship Him in utter surrender, we are at our best.

This week, get rid of the “shoulds” or “should nots” and understand what it is to love your husband with utter abandon. Your mission this week, is to initiate sex with your husband with a passion that reveals how much you desire him and love him.

Originally Published as Getting Rid of the “Should” of “Should Not” on April 3, 2014

by Ruth Buezis July 6, 2017

Learn to Trust

In order to experience the kind of freedom that leads to great sex, we must feel absolutely safe. Sex is this amazing journey of revealing the most intimate parts of our mind, body and soul. It can be terrifying and thrilling at the same time. We must trust ourselves enough to let our bodies lead us, and trust our spouse enough to let them see us.

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by Ruth Buezis July 1, 2017

Are You Listening to Your Body?

Do you listen to your body when you are making love? Do you hear it telling you, “oh my gosh, that feels so good”, “I want more of that”, or “touch my ______”. Staying connected to what our body enjoys and following it where it takes us is one of the ways that sex remains fresh and new every time. But a lot of things can get in the way.

Beware of Automatic

Sometimes we just begin to do life on automatic. We fail to notice or enjoy the small pleasures that God gives us. Kissing our husbands when we greet becomes an automatic response and we aren’t even present. We are thinking about the day ahead of us and our “to do” list. But if we disengage from life, and actually feel him, and smell him and awaken our bodies to what we love, we can make a connection. It doesn’t really take any more time, it is just a different mindset.

We can also get into the rut of making love on automatic. We get our routine down to a science, and figure out what works. We miss wonderful detours that our body is taking us on. Don’t be afraid to let your husband know what your body is asking for or what it is enjoying. It is part of revealing who you are. Sex stays fresh because it is a constant window into our spouse and ourselves. It is God’s design that we “know” each other thru sex.It is in revealing what our bodies love that we “know” each other.

Also, beware of becoming a spectator. Our mind can get distracted if we worry about whether he’s touching us right, or whether we will have an orgasm, or whether he will last long enough, or if he’s getting tired. It is like being a photographer at a family reunion, focusing on getting the right shot, and the lighting and the background. And when it is over, we realize that we really didn’t connect at all, we totally missed the reunion. Stop watching and start feeling.

So your mission this week is to listen to what your body loves, enjoy it, follow it, share it with your husband, and see where it takes you.

Originally published as What DO You Love on March 19, 2014

by Ruth Buezis June 22, 2017

Quieting the Mind

We all know it’s happened to us. We’re in bed with our husband, and he is being oh so attentive. Softly stroking us, gently kissing us, when out of nowhere pops the thought, “Did I start the dishwasher?” And it opens up the floodgates of things that will run our day tomorrow. “I’ve got to remember to sign Sarah’s permission slip”, and” don’t forget to buy a gift for Anne’s party”, and on and on it goes. So many things to keep track of, and yet in this moment, I am missing out on one of the most important things I do, connecting with my husband.

So how do we quiet our mind? How do we think about nothing besides this amazing moment?

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by Ruth Buezis June 15, 2017

Category: Creative Ideas

Awakening to the Passion of a Quickie

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Small Intentional Choices Create a Great Sex Life

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How to Tantalize Your Husband

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A Christian App – Ultimate Intimacy

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The Power of Sharing Initiation

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Cultivating a Beginner’s Mindset

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Expectations – Shoulds and Should Nots

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“Shoulds”

Steps to Eliminate Expectations

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Quieting the Mind

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