Do you want to help engaged couples start on the right foot when it comes to sex?
Are you getting married soon and wonder about sex in marriage?
Do you have a hard time addressing sex in pre-marital counseling?
Talking about sex can feel scary and awkward, but couples learning to communicate about sex can help prevent patterns that take years to reverse.
Even when you have a great mindset, making sex a priority when you are raising kids can be challenging. Exhaustion, busyness and feeling over touched can all play a role. Living in survival mode with little time to talk or play leaves our reserves depleted and disconnection can feel hard to overcome. Breaking the cycle and making sex a priority often requires some very intentional choices.
Raising kids is hard! Even though I am now an empty nester, I remember well the days of changing diapers, wiping spit-up off my clothes and interrupted nights of sleep. With 4 kids under the age of 6, I wish I had known then what I know now about sex. Surviving those years, I often felt isolated, exhausted, and on opposite teams from my husband. Sex always seemed to be the last thing on my “to do” list. I found myself feeling resentful when Jim would gently coax me towards connection. Though I am sure some practical choices might have helped for a while, they would have just acted like a band-aid that eventually falls off. What I really needed was a whole new mindset toward sex.
When I first created the Awaken Love videos, I based everything off of my experiences teaching live classes. I realized the importance of community so that women could encourage and support each other as they shared their struggles and growth. I tried to recreate classes, with pauses for mixer questions, reading Song of Songs as a group, and discussion questions. Rather than just tell you the answers, I wanted women to discover their own answers. Though I still believe taking the video class in a group provides a powerful dynamic for transformation, I now realize that God can work regardless of the circumstances. If God has softened your heart and you are ready to seek His truth, He can use the Awaken-Love video class in many different ways as an impetus for change.
Read More »Many Options for Taking an Awaken-Love Video Class
When I wrote my book Awaken Love I spend several months praying, listening to God, collecting stories of women in class, and digging deep to remember how God transformed me. As part of the process, I brainstormed on large pieces of poster board with the question scrawled across the top, “What do I want to tell women?” It did not take long for clear principles to emerge that I wanted to make the backbone of Awaken Love.
Women don’t need to hear again how important sex is for their husband. They need to know that God created sex for them too. Though are drives and our bodies function quite different than our husband’s, we need sex to connect with our husband, to find refreshment and as a way of getting to know ourselves and our husband. We need to know that sex is a good thing for us and permission to know and understand our own body Women need to be encouraged to invest the time to create a sex life that is thoroughly enjoyable for both husband and wife.
Women tend to think about oral sex for their husband in terms of in and out movement. A hand or mouth that encompasses the shaft, sliding up and down from the base of the penis, across the ridge to the head, and then back again. It is the typical motion that most men use to create pleasure themselves. Though highly pleasurable and efficient, I want to share some ideas to mix things up a bit, extend pleasure, and expand his horizons.
Read More »5 Ideas to Add Variety to Oral Sex for Your Husband
Oral Sex can be one of the most luxurious ways for a husband to love his wife. Far from the challenges of calloused hands, his mouth can tune into her body in some of the most intimate ways. Though I’ve written some other articles on how to love your wife with oral sex, I want to focus on ways a husband can really treat his wife. Ways to warm her up and tease her until her body gently tumbles over in pleasure.
Music can be a great way to set the mood for sex. From the crazy, I don’t give a ______ attitude of rock and roll, to the smooth tunes of Jazz. Music can transport us to other places and different attitudes in a second. It provides a beat and a pace that we can move our bodies to. Music can help us relax. and breath deeply or it can encourage us to get a little wild and let loose. But until I discovered foreign music, I sometimes felt distracted by the words in the songs.
Recently a woman that facilitated the video class remarked that I really ought to consider raising the price of the class. She was a professional online class developer and felt shocked at how good the class was for the cost. The resources provided, the teaching and the transformation that she witnessed seemed worth a lot more then $20. She thought that if I charged more, people would sign up because they would realize just how valuable and powerful the class is.
Maybe she’s right and I am a fool, but I don’t want to raise the price. I keep the price low because I consider Awaken-Love a ministry. When I started teaching classes, I didn’t do it to make money. I teach classes because God has called me to help others. The other teachers donate their time and so do facilitators. Honestly, I don’t want women to think we are trying to convince them to take the class, just so that we can make a few bucks.
Most men love to receive oral sex, but many wives struggle to enjoy giving it. A penis can feel scary and foreign up close. Oral sex can also feel dirty because of past experiences or messages we’ve received. Though we are all very different, I would challenge you that oral sex can be a very intimate way to know a husband. It takes great trust and you can learn new things while focusing just on his pleasure.
But ultimately, if you don’t want to do it, you probably shouldn’t. No one should ever feel forced, coerced or guilted into doing something sexually. But if you want to learn to enjoy giving oral sex, I have a few suggestions for you.
After years of buying into the same old messages about sex, Ruth went searching for God’s truth and discovered something radically different. By sharing her own journey to sexual freedom and the stories of the women she’s taught, you will come away with a new mindset about sex and a deep-seated belief that God designed each of us unique, special – and created for delights.
Copyright © Ruth Buezis, Awaken-Love and Christian Sex Class, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s authors and/or owners is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Awaken-Love with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
