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christian sex

Awakening to the Passion of a Quickie

Most women know what a quickie is, and it usually has more to do with serving our husband than anything else. Somewhere between the exhaustion of washing the last of the dishes and the early pitter-patter of little feet, we realize that our husband has been neglected, and we squeeze out one last bit of energy to take care of him. Our head really isn’t in the game because we figure that with so little time, odds are, we are not going to get there anyway.

Now here’s the question… is it possible, that we could enjoy a quickie too? Is it possible that the reason we don’t get there, is because our heads have already decided there is not enough time? What about letting go of the practicalities of the known, and experiencing the passion of the unknown. Could we allow our bodies to dive into the deep end, instead of tip toeing from the wading pool as we acclimate to the temperature of the water?

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Small Intentional Choices Create a Great Sex Life

Small things make a huge impact on my sex life. Intentional choices that don’t take a whole lot of time or energy. Simple things like paying attention to my bedroom, taking care of myself and cultivating connection, help keep sex on the front burner. Things that anyone can do.

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The Challenges of Seeing Sex as Refreshment

I remember when we had young kids and feeling so exhausted that the last thing I wanted to do was have sex. Sex felt like one more thing on my to do list. It was one more thing that would suck my energy dry, something else to give. The last thing I expected from sex was refreshment.

Yet there were times when my husband would be so patient and would gently take me to that place. Afterwards I thought to myself, “Boy, did I need that.” Somewhere, deep down, I knew that sex was a good thing. That it would refresh me and that it was for me too. But this truth was buried deep beneath a pile of lies.

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How to Give Your Husband a Great Hand Job

Every once in a while, a hand job can blow your husband’s mind. But a great hand job requires more than just good technique. It requires a certain attitude that says, “I’ve got you. I find your penis amazing and you turn me on!” When you have the right attitude and you understand some important basics, then the world is in your hands.

I’ve Got You

When you have the confidence to take charge, your husband can relax. You need to make it very clear to him, that it’s your turn to have some fun. Determine how he sits or lays so that he can enjoy the view. Place his hands above his head or at his sides to clearly communicate you’re in charge.

Wear something that teases and tantalizes him like a black lace bra. Entice him while just out of reach. Cover your hands with coconut oil and stroke his chest while moving toward his pelvis. Lube up his entire pelvic area and smoothly stoke his thighs and around the base of his penis to get the blood flowing. Make sure that he understands he gets to relax and enjoy the view.

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Invite God into Your Marriage Bed

During Awaken-Love class we often talk about how to bring God into our marriage bed. The huge divide between our spirituality and our sexuality leaves us feeling like sex is somehow wrong. When women invite God into their marriage bed, they experience a renewed sense of freedom but sometimes they don’t  realize all the amazing benefits. 

Today, Abbey who recently joined the Awaken-Love teaching team, will share how inviting God into their marriage bed profoundly impacted both her and her husband.

Awaken Love taught my husband and me many things. Most importantly it taught us to invite God into our marriage bed.

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A New Strategy for Overcoming Gridlock

Women need to feel emotionally connected in order to enjoy sex.

Men need to have sex in order to feel emotionally connected.

It sounds like gridlock to me. Women can’t have sex until they talk, and men can’t talk until they have sex, so they just stop connecting. The gate is put up by the wife, the husband retreats feeling rejected and they spin away from each other. It’s like that age old question, “What came first, the chicken or the egg?” There is no right answer, there is only debate. We need a new strategy. 

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The Power of Righteous Anger

“Does anyone else here feel angry!”

It wasn’t the first time a woman had said this during an Awaken-Love class. A righteous anger boiled up as she realized how God’s gift of sex had been distorted. That same distortion had impacted not only others, but her own marriage bed. A righteous anger that I pray fuels the power for change – not just for herself but for others.

Messages About Sex

We had just finished sharing how we learned about sex as kids. Women were aghast as they realized how few good messages they received. People with the greatest influence in our lives, parents, pastors and extended family, shared few positive messages about sex. “No wonder we struggle so much with sex” we thought to ourselves.

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The Importance of Non-Sexual Touch

I often speak to young Moms about the importance of keeping sex alive even while raising kids.  It has been years since my 4 girls were babies, and much of it seems like a fog, but sex definitely was not at the top of my priority list. I have been thinking about what I wish I had done differently to navigate through baby land. One of my biggest mistakes was limiting non-sexual touch.

I remember spending long days at home chasing little kids, wiping noses, reading with a full lap of girls, and rocking babies to sleep. When my husband arrived home, the last thing I wanted was for him to touch me – especially if it might lead to sex.  And so I kept my distance from him. I didn’t linger with my kisses, I didn’t cuddle too long before I rolled away from him in bed, and I pushed him away.

Ultimately I wanted to protect my husband. I didn’t want to lead him on and later disappoint him. But limiting non-sexual touch, not only impacted my drive, but trained my husband to expect sex on the days that I allowed him to touch me. And his expectations for sex after non-sexual turned me off even more.  So the pattern began.

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How to Tantalize Your Husband

I find it amusing the different ways my body catches my husband’s eye. As if I am his own personal eye candy just trying to tantalize him. Most of the time I have no idea what he’s enjoying until he tells me. Years ago, I might have felt violated, embarrassed or confused. But now I kind of love it! Maybe I need to start watching for ways to catch his eye on purpose.

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Buy the book

After years of buying into the same old messages about sex, Ruth went searching for God’s truth and discovered something radically different. By sharing her own journey to sexual freedom and the stories of the women she’s taught, you will come away with a new mindset about sex and a deep-seated belief that God designed each of us unique, special – and created for delights.

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Copyright © Ruth Buezis, Awaken-Love and Christian Sex Class, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s authors and/or owners is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Awaken-Love with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.