Song of Songs 6:13 – 7:5
He
Why would you gaze on the Shulammite
as on the dance of Mahanaim?
7 [n]How beautiful your sandaled feet,
O prince’s daughter!
Your graceful legs are like jewels,
the work of an artist’s hands.
2 Your navel is a rounded goblet
that never lacks blended wine.
Your waist is a mound of wheat
encircled by lilies.
3 Your breasts are like two fawns,
like twin fawns of a gazelle.
4 Your neck is like an ivory tower.
Your eyes are the pools of Heshbon
by the gate of Bath Rabbim.
Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon
looking toward Damascus.
5 Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel.
Your hair is like royal tapestry the king is held captive by its tresses.
Many people believe that She is doing a dance for him – right down to the nude.
– A Striptease –
She has gained confidence in herself as a woman. He has earned her trust and she knows that he will love every part of her body. He visually affirms her – from her feet to her head – and everything in between. Go back and read it, there are some great lines. Do you know how much your husband loves the lines of your legs? Do you know the power of your eyes? Did you know that the vagina is the same pH as wine – how did they know?
The first time I treated my husband to a striptease, I felt so awkward. I am kind of tall and lanky and I think that I was trying to be someone that I am not. I think my husband felt weird, too. He had spent his whole life trying to guard his eyes. Here I was giving him a show and he wasn’t really sure if it was ok. But trust me, I could tell he still enjoyed it. Afterwards we laughed about it and had some great conversations about what it meant to share myself, and was it ok? Was it ok for my husband to really enjoy it?
The next time was really fun. I felt freer in expressing myself and my husband felt freer in enjoying himself. I went to the thrift store to buy an outfit of an alter ego of myself. I could never be an all out stripper like you think of professionals, but I could be a stodgy librarian or teacher, that deep down was very free in her sexuality. And when the time was right, she knew how to let go, and let go in a tantalizing way. I could tell my husband also felt much freer in enjoying the show – this was a good thing – to fully enjoy his wife with the eyes that God gave him.
Just last week, I had a young wife email me because she wanted to do a strip tease for her husband and was really nervous. What I love, is that she asked me to pray for her.
Sharing our bodies with our husband is God honoring because it fits into His design. It takes laying down ourselves and our insecurities, knowing beyond a shadow of doubt that He created us beautiful, and then diving off the cliff because we are willing to be that vulnerable. Stripping is not just for your husband, it is stepping into who He created you to be and the freedom that He wants you to experience. Are you ready?
This Week –
- Give your husband a mini striptease by slowly removing clothes when you undress for the day. See if he notices.
- Do a striptease for your husband. Here is a great article from The Marriage Bed to get you started. Adapt it to fit who you are. Not every striptease looks the same. It should represent who you are.
P. S. We had a little delay in transferring subscribers over, so if you missed Monday’s article, please take a peek.
I love undressing in front of my husband and he loves watching. Sometimes I slow it down or play it up. But to do an all out striptease for him?! I just have this problem with mimicking something of the world, so lewd and sinful, and to pretend to be someone I am not bothers me, too. Maybe it is because my husband has been to strip clubs and has enjoyed calling me other names sexually, but my real name is called when there’s a problem with the toilet backing up or the kids freaking out.
Why can’t a husband be happy with the wife he has without paralleling the sins of the world because he is Christian and married and has to avoid them?
lbl,
I am so sorry you have had to deal with the baggage that a husband brings when he has not kept himself pure – intimacy is hard enough – but I do believe God can redeem and heal all of this too.
Let me just say, that I don’t think we should do a striptease just because our husband wants it – especially if he wants it to recreate some experience that he should not have had in the past. I believe that doing a striptease can be a way of reclaiming the freedom that God originally intended in the marriage bed. God made our husbands visual and it is a good thing. God also made our bodies exquisite and we usually don’t have an easy time of believing just how beautiful we are. That is where are our husbands come in…
I think doing a striptease for our husbands is stepping into believing how beautiful we are and learning to love and appreciate our husbands eyes on us. In order for this to happen, we have to know and trust that our husbands are keeping their eyes pure and only have eyes for us. We have to know that it is not about recreating something else, but it is about us fully exposing ourselves and our husbands taking us fully in. That means that we don’t try to do a striptease to copy what the world does, but we make it our own, something very different from the world. Something that expresses our hidden sexuality in total freedom and that we thrill when our husband receives us.
The world has taken every part of sexuality and corrupted it in some way. We need to reclaim sexuality in the good and right way that God intended – in the marriage bed – one woman and one man – no past images, no past comparisons – just us, freely enjoying what He gave us.
Thank you for your beautiful response. Unfortunately, I don’t feel safe doing an outright striptease for him. I am afraid it would be a recreation, bringing back those memories and images, and arousing him similarly to the lasciviousness of his past pleasures. He recently watched a tv series that featured some erotic striptease with full female nudity, so it is just a big, fat no for me. He sees me nude and in various states of undress all the time and feasts his eyes, so I am not depriving him, but no way am I going to be that vulnerable against such strong and fairly recent memories. I will not compete with other women.
lbl,
I pray for opportunities to help your husband understand what a difference it makes when he keeps his eyes pure. I pray that God would wake him to the darkness and destruction that the world offers, that he would understand a new dependence on God, and that he would chase after purity. I pray that you might catch him in the small ways that he is making right choices and speak affirmation and truth into his life. I pray for complete transformation in your marriage as you regain trust and understand and step into the freedom that God desires for you.
Amen
Ruth, I am so grateful for the Song of Songs articles and for your vulnerability and willingness to open the bedroom door just a crack to see what Christian marriage can look like.
Thank you so much.
Afriend