If you want your husband to experience something completely new, try giving him a frenulum orgasm. It will not only be amazing for him, but it will help him understand what it is like for you to experience a clitoral orgasm.
Where is the Frenulum
The frenulum is located on the underside of the penis in the Vee shaped area, where the head of the penis meets the shaft. Just like the frenulum that attaches your lip to your gum, there is a thin band of tissue that acts as a sort of attachment between the foreskin and the penis. Whether your husband is circumcised or not, most of the sensitive nerves still remain. Many people know that the frenulum is an especially sweet area packed with nerves but until I read an article at Married Christian Sex, I had no idea a man could have an orgasm from stimulation of just the frenulum.
Learning to Relax
In order for a husband to experience a frenulum orgasm, he must be patient. Stimulating this sensitive area is very different from a firm hand, mouth or vagina encompassing his penis. He will experience strong sensations of pleasure with no way of driving to the finish line. He will need to relax his body and allow the gradual build up of pleasure to eventually overtake him. Keeping his pelvic muscles relaxed will be critical to the slow build up. He must trust his body and he must trust that you won’t give up on him.
Stimulating the Frenulum
To stimulate the frenulum you could use your mouth, the tip of your nose, your finger, your thumb or a vibrator. There should be no opposing force on the other side of the shaft. You can either let the penis rest against his abdomen or hold it at the base. The motion to the frenulum can be slow and luxurious, light and playful, connected, bouncing, brisk or anything else you can think of. Probably one of the best ideas is to just think of what would feel good on your clitoris and try it. Be patient, change things up, notice when he is enjoying things and have fun.
Your husband may very well struggle with some of the same things you struggle with during manual or oral stimulation of your clitoris. He may worry that it is taking too long, feel frustrated or struggle to stay relaxed. He may worry that you are getting tired or bored, or worry that he is not going to make it. Sounds familiar, right? Be sure to reassure him how much you are enjoying it and that he has all the time in the world. He gets to just lay back and relax.
When your husband has a frenulum orgasm, it may feel different than what he is used to. The pleasure comes from a very focused area, and he may feel hypersensitive or like it is too much. To extend his orgasm, try to stay gently connected and continue to stimulate him.
If you are going to try giving your husband a frenulum orgasm, you might need to prepare him. Read this article together and talk. Allow lots of time and enjoy the journey. Remember, if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
The Author
Thanks, Ruth, for a well, written prescriptive approach to provide a frenulum orgasm. Patience in learning how to bring a husband to orgasm by the wife and patience by the husband to allow himself to be brought to orgasm is spot on. This is a delight that requires the right touch, technique, and stimulative timing. Just wondering if practicing solo stimulation of the frenulum would help a husband learn to orgasm?
Anonymous,
My immediate gut response was to say, “no, you should do this with your wife,” but maybe that is sexist, because I would happily suggest to a wife that she might need to figure things our on her own and then show her husband.
I think that frenulum orgasm is something you can do together and could be a great trust builder and intimacy builder. I think doing it together and having to relax to your wife’s touch will help you understand her challenges. Not being able to achieve orgasm the first time, might even help you understand your wife. Struggling with the head issues of whether she wants to do this, or if it is taking too long adds to the insight.
But you get to discern with your wife and with God, what is best for your own marriage.
Thanks for your repsonse to my question, Ruth. My reason for asking was because I’d like to invite my wife to do this for us. Not knowing my response to stimulation of my frenulum, I was concerned that I wouldn’t respond and the effort would be futile. By trying it out, I figured I’d know what particular touch sensation worked and how long it might take. That way, I could better communicate with my wife.
Hey why can’t you put any opposing force on the backside of the frenulum?
You can put an opposing force on the backside if you want. The point is to try something different. Rather than enveloping the penis or providing something that he can thrust into, you finesse a very sensitive area.
Yes, this can add some exciting variety for your husband. It is good to see posts on aspects of male sexuality. Wives and husbands can both gain an appreciation of each other’s sexuality.
Gotta try this! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for the link! We always enjoy what we read on your site.
One additional thing to note: lubrication can be very helpful while rubbing the frenulum (just like with a clitoris). A tongue is awesome, but if using your finger I recommend some silicone-based lube — water-based lube will dry out and need to be frequently reapplied.
El Fury,
Lubricant is definitely a must, because just like the clitoris, the penis has no natural lubrication. I am a big fan of coconut oil too for ease of going from mouth to hand to mouth.
Ruth
Good suggestion
I love learning new sciency and yet intimate information! Thanks for this!
Good description, Ruth. It can take time, and he will have to relax and trust her – which is a good thing. And yes, it’s worth the effort.
And I second the call for plenty of lubricant. While aroused we don’t feel pain very well so he could feel fine during and be rather sore the next day.
My wife discovered this as a way of giving me some intimacy while she has a low libido and doesn’t want sex. We do it once a week. It’s not very intimate unless I can touch her intimately or otherwise. Once just brushing my leg against hers was enough to push me over the edge. You do both have to be patient sometimes. On occasions it feels like a whole body orgasm. In terms of the once a week thing I’m grateful for any intimacy and knowing it’s coming on a Sunday evening. Excuse the pun 🙂
We never use lubrication and it’s ok. Maybe it would be even better with.
A further bit of advice: The wife should grasp the base of her husband’s penis with her free hand, and by squeezing and pulling back toward him as she lightly rubs, she will strengthen his erection and increase the sensitivity of his frenulum. Thus she is able to control how quickly she brings him to orgasm. This can really help if things seem to be going nowhere.
I let my wife try this, but found it no less unbearably boring than BJs. Oral is just too passive for me. If I “lay back and relax” I struggle to stay awake. If I’m not assuming an assertive role in the activity, pleasing my partner, sharing in intimacy, I’ll lose interest quickly.
Thanks for sharing. Obviously we are all very different. I guess I am wondering if you ever watch your wife pleasure you and if that might feel more interesting to you?
Maybe you can do 69 with frenulum?
Sure. That could work.
I personally find that frenulum stimulation immediately after ejaculation is like putting my orgasm into afterburners. A regular orgasm is nice and satisfying. A frenulum stimulation supplemented orgasm leaves me weak in the knees, shaking, and light headed from ecstasy
I absolutely love this technique. It is stronger and way more intimate. My wife uses only one finger to draw circles around the frenulum. I’ve learned how to prolong my orgasm through edging to this stroke. It’s hot