God Can Transform You and Your Marriage

One of the first things I tell women taking Awaken-Love is, “What I say will not change you. The books your read will not change you. If you are looking for real transformation, you need to ask God, because He is the only one that can change you.”

God changes lives.

I know, because He has profoundly changed my life. I am nothing like the person that I used to be. He has given me the courage to feel and to intimately connect – with Him and with my husband.  I have emerged from the shadow of shame with the desire to be fully known. God has freed be from trying to create the illusion of perfection and instead trust that He can work through even my mistakes. I act different, I feel different and I look different and He just keeps changing me.

I constantly see God transform women in Awaken-Love classes.

They come carrying burdens, secrets, walls of protection and He begins slowly softening their heart. As trust builds they open up and bring hiddenness to the light. Women that are totally broken, surrender everything to God as we ask for breakthrough and return the next week to share stories of miracles. God can heal anything. He can reveal lies and bondage, He can break down walls, He can bind up the broken hearted, and He can speak his truth.  God shows up all the time.

If you want your marriage to change, then start by asking God to change you.

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by Ruth Buezis June 19, 2017
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The Bad Plan of Duty

A woman shared that when she married her husband, she did not think she could EVER say no to sex.  For over 20 years, every single time he initiated, she went along with it. Her young husband had a strong drive and they often had sex once a day, or even twice a day. The first ten years of marriage, things were ok. They were young, had energy and were not too sleep deprived from raising kids. But as the pattern continued through the years, resentment began to build.

Every single time her husband initiated, she obliged. No matter how exhausted she was, she did not turn him down. Ten years later sex had become a dirty word and a huge point of conflict as her resentment built to anxiety. She read any physical touch from her husband as a prelude to intercourse and began avoiding all touch for fear of leading him on. The couple eventually ended up in counseling and are in the process of rebuilding their marriage and their sex life.

I asked her, “why didn’t you feel like you could say no to your husband once in a while?”

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by Ruth Buezis April 24, 2017
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Back to the Basics

For months, I have known that I needed to make a change. My phone and computer have been running my life. An email comes in and my heart beats with excitement for someone that might be signing up for a class or asking advice. I hop over to Facebook and check notifications, scrolling for the latest news, then I click over to check stats on my website. Minutes turn into hours and before long I am wondering what happened to my day.

It is time to get back to my first love, spending time with Jesus.

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by Ruth Buezis February 9, 2017
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Do it for You

I will never forget the woman, tears streaming down her cheeks, her gentle husband just a step behind. She came to talk during intermission at one of my couples seminars on sex. “I am sorry”, she said, “I have to leave. This is just too painful. You see I was abused as a child… I want to do this for my husband… really, I just can’t right now.”

As I listened to her story, I was struck by the common thread that holds so many Christian wives.

Do it for your husband

It is a thread that weaves throughout our sexuality impacting us so profoundly and yet many of us may not even know it exists.  This message of “Do it for your husband” sounds so Christian, putting someone ahead of yourself, and yet in many ways it slowly strangles our sexuality until it all just feels like a chore. This subtle thread insinuates that sex is not important to wives. It implies that God did not create sex as a gift for women and that, IS A LIE.

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by Ruth Buezis December 19, 2016
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How do you bring God into your marriage bed?

I have this theory that most people who grow up in the church know that God created sex and that it is good. But when it comes down to actually enjoying sex, they leave Him on the other side of the bedroom door. They quickly close the door, slide the deadbolt, and try to just forget God is even in the house.

deadbolt

It as if we cannot love God and enjoy sex at the same time. God may have created sex, He may want me to enjoy it, but surely He doesn’t want to know what we are doing in here. Because sex is worldly, it is physical, erotic – and it is very separate from God. So we sneak around, feeling guilty if we enjoy it, and at church we pretend like sex does not even exist.

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by Ruth Buezis October 10, 2016
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What would I write about sex?

Recently I read a great book on marriage by a well respected author and of course there was a chapter on sex buried near the end of the book. Since I have been teaching women about sex, I have this habit of filtering whatever I read thru the lens of what a Christian wife would hear.

What I remember from the sex chapters in most Christian books is 2 things…

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by Ruth Buezis October 3, 2016
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Pray for the Battle

This week I had lunch with a friend that I met less than a year ago when she sent me this email…

Hi Ruth,
I am bursting with things that I have thought in my mind over the past week that I would want to write to you or tell you in person. I want to testify to God’s work in bringing a breakthrough and new dimension of freedom to me that started 2 weeks ago but has been experienced most amazingly the past 8 days (or should I say nights ??) after my husband of 21 years found and directed me to your blog.

We were thrilled to find out that you are local and that you have a class starting next week. I would like to sign up for that class.

I love when God plops people into my life. The next week, she was in class where we quickly became friends, and by the end of the 6 weeks we were discussing her calling to teach the Awaken-Love class.  Melanie and I have no doubt she will make an amazing teacher.

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by Ruth Buezis August 22, 2016
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Glued Together Podcast Part 2

Podcast with Delight Your Marriage

The 2nd half of my podcast with Belah Rose at Delight Your Marriage is live!  Belah and I talk about what it means to let our husband lead while we are on our own journey – and to be glued together through it. Thanks for checking it out! If you missed Part 1 of Belah and my discussion then listen in sometime!

Ruth

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by Ruth Buezis July 26, 2016
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Believe in Your Beauty Podcast

Believe-In-Your-BeautyDelight Your Marriage Podcast

Today I am talking on a Podcast with Belah Rose over at Delight Your Marriage where I share my story of believing that God created me absolutely beautiful. This belief spurred me on to greater intimacy and freedom with my husband and with God. Please head over to hear Part 1 and plan on returning next Tuesday for Part 2 of our conversation. While you are there, check out Belah’s other resources that inspire whole hearted intimacy.

Believe-In-Your-beauty-v2

 

 

 

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by Ruth Buezis July 19, 2016
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“Why Only ONE?”

The question came from a husband that was honest enough to admit purity was a struggle but

desired to honor and love his wife by arming for the battle.

The world tells us that you can have sex with as many people as you want and it doesn’t matter. Sex is just a physical pleasure that is to be consumed until it loses excitement and then you move on to the next conquest. If you do get married, then looking at others or using them in your mind to provide arousal is no big deal.  And pornography tells us if sex with one person doesn’t do it for you, then why not try a threesome? You can find articles detailing ground rules and ideas on how to find the third party. And if a threesome… why not a foursome, fivesome – or a free for all. All messages that convey, “Why Only One?”

So beyond the obvious answer of God designed marriage to be one man and one woman, “Why Only One?”

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by Ruth Buezis July 11, 2016
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