Ruth Buezis

What Do You Want to Communicate to Your Kids?

When we think about talking to our kids about sex, we worry about fielding the embarrassing questions our kids might ask. Questions like, “How are babies made?” or “What is a blowjob?” But what if our kids never ask questions about sex? What if they’ve already picked up on how uncomfortable the topic makes us. Or maybe the world is already providing plenty of answers. Do you really want to leave your kids education about hard topic like sex, masturbation, pornography or LGBTQ to someone else? What truths do you want to communicate?

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Opportunities to Reclaim Territory

I often wear my Awaken Love shirt when I travel. I always think, how awesome would it be to have someone recognize me at an airport across the country. To stop me and say, “Thanks for what you are doing”. Though the internet provides challenges in safe guarding our families, it also provides opportunities to reclaim territory. The internet gives us access to people from local towns to foreign countries.

Several years ago I was vacationing with my family in McGregor, Minnesota, a tiny town of 350 people, enjoying our church camp. Midweek my husband and I drove into town to hit up the local market for a few dinner items.  I was halfway thru my shopping when an older gentlemen caught me from the side. He quietly said, ” I like your shirt. Keep doing what you are doing.” and then shuffled off to rejoin his wife.

To be honest, I hardly heard what he said, except that he liked my shirt. I had to ask my husband and when he told me, I still kept puzzling. “Are you sure he said, “keep doing what you’re doing?'” “Yes, I’m sure”, my husband replied.

I felt shocked.  Does he actually know about Awaken-Love? Is it possible that out in the middle of nowhere an older gentleman is following Awaken-Love in hopes of making his sex life better?

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Greater Contrast Creates Greater Sexual Tension

We create sexual tension through contrast. The drastic difference between two things that make both feel more intense.  It requires using a range of motions, touches, or feelings. Tension wakes us up and helps us to know we are alive. It is the anticipation of jumping into a cold lake on a hot summer day and feeling our heart pound. The way that the color white pops against a black ground. The excitement of one spouse leading with confidence and the other surrendering. Contrast creates sexual tension and transforms shades of gray to the brightest colors of the rainbow.

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Balance of Independence and Dependence During Sex

A woman who could easily orgasm shared her frustration about her husband’s lack of interest in sex. Many reasons exist for a lack of interest, but her utter confidence in her own satisfaction, made me wonder if that had impacted her husband’s drive. Maybe he didn’t really feel needed, and don’t we all want to feel needed. Great sex requires a balance of independence during sex, and dependence on each other. Just like our relationship with God.

Even though God wants us to depend on Him, we also must do our part. We don’t just pray about getting healthy. We must choose to eat healthy food and exercise. Rather than just expecting God to heal us from past experiences, we go through a process of talking about it, choosing to forgive, and steps of faith. Yes, we need God, but we must take a step. Like the paralyzed man that Jesus asked, “Do you want to get well? Then get up, pick up your mat and walk”. Jesus did not stand him up. The man had to believe and stand up. During sex, we also need  both independence and dependence.

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Men’s Edition – A Great Resource to Improve Your Sex Life

Finally, a great place for husbands to get good information about sex.

Men’s Edition, an amazing resource to help Christian husbands create the intimate sex life they desire.

6 videos packed with insight that Ruth has gained from teaching hundreds of wives about sex. Ruth and her husband Jim will help you understand God’s design for sex, the challenges your wife faces in embracing freedom, the complexities of her body, and how to create more intimacy during sex. Though the videos can be viewed by yourself, we encourage you to find a group of guys to join you on this journey. One of the best ways to improve your sex life is to learn to talk about it.

Less than an hour long each, the videos provide discussion questions to help you process what you learn. If we want to take sex back from the world, then we must start talking about it. Taking the class with other husbands will also provide encouragement and accountability as you challenge each other to move beyond the status quo and try something new.

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Using Words to Fuel Passion During Sex

Words add excitement during sex. Women that masturbate often imagine what is being said to them. Even saying or imagining their own verbal enthusiasm can coax their body’s response. When my husband lets down his guard enough to ask for what his body aches for, it adds to my arousal in powerful ways. When our filters finally disappear, the “Oh yes!!”, “Don’t stop!” or “Harder” fuel passion. But what words can Christian couples use in the marriage bed?

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5 Ideas for Couples Struggling to Connect After a New Baby

Recently I received an email from a woman that had taken an Awaken Love class. Though she has embraced God’s design for sex, the arrival of another baby has left her struggling to connect with her husband.

I just had a baby about two months ago. During pregnancy and now with an infant and toddler our intimate life has been a struggle. I’m really having a hard time getting in the mood. I have a baby nursing all day long and still have some residual healing that needs to take place post birth. My husband is getting sexually frustrated and I’m sort of at a loss. It feels like I serve the kids all day long and then don’t have it in me to serve him by being there sexually. I feel like my body is just a milk machine. Do you have any advice? Is it okay to be less intimate during this life phase? I just mentally struggle with feeling like I’m ‘faking it’ with him because I do not feel sexual or turned on, no matter how hard I try 🙁 Any advice would be wonderful!

Seasons of life filled with exhaustion present extra challenges. But I am so glad this young mom asked for advice. Instead of letting the lack of sex drive a wedge in her marriage, working together they can embrace the opportunity to redefine intimacy. No easy answers exist for the exhaustion that babies, nursing and raising kids create. So let me just offer a few ideas for couples to ponder and maybe try….

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Talking About Sex – Even in Kenya

On our mantle sits a hand painted African plate from a fundraiser for a girl’s school and orphanage in Kenya. From the time we met the founders, I always knew that one day Jim and I would make the long trek to visit the orphanage.

Maybe it is because I admired how one couple’s obedience to God’s calling could impact so many lives. From its’ humble beginnings in 2004, the orphanage now houses, feeds, clothes and educates over 120 girls. Or maybe the founder wore me down, after repeatedly telling me his girls needed to meet a woman that crossed boundaries into fields like Engineering and Woodworking. Or maybe… after putting it off for over 8 years because of our kid’s college tuition payments and ministry involvement with Awaken-Love, I just needed to trust God.

Jim and I finally went to the orphanage in Kenya and it was amazing!!

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5 Ideas to Add Variety to Oral Sex for Your Husband

Women tend to think about stimulation for their husband in terms of in and out movement. A hand or mouth that encompasses the shaft, sliding up and down from the base of the penis, across the ridge to the head, and then back again. It is the typical motion that most men use to create pleasure themselves. Though highly pleasurable and efficient, I want to share some ideas to mix things up a bit, extend pleasure, and add variety to oral sex for your husband.

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Buy the book

After years of buying into the same old messages about sex, Ruth went searching for God’s truth and discovered something radically different. By sharing her own journey to sexual freedom and the stories of the women she’s taught, you will come away with a new mindset about sex and a deep-seated belief that God designed each of us unique, special – and created for delights.

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Copyright © Ruth Buezis, Awaken-Love and Christian Sex Class, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s authors and/or owners is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Awaken-Love with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.