Ruth Buezis

THE PLAY BOOK – Learning to have Great Sex

by Ruth Buezis
June 22, 2015September 13, 2021

Learning to have great sex is not all that different from learning to be a great quarter back. It takes years of practice to learn the fundamentals, master basic plays and create variation of those plays. Eventually you learn to call audibles, read the play as it unfolds and know your players well enough to anticipate their next move without even thinking about it.

Fundamentals

In order to have great sex, you need to start by learning the fundamentals. Stop making sex about getting a touch-down, but make it about connecting to your wife and getting to know her. You need to be present and eager to learn more. You need to stop rubbing her and feel her. Use your words to engage and arouse her by playfully talking about past connections or future possibilities. Redefine sex to include what works for her, vs what works for men.

THE LIES YOUR WIFE BATTLES

by Ruth Buezis
June 15, 2015February 13, 2020
9 Comments

While most men make it to marriage expecting that “Sex is going to be the best thing ever”, most women have different expectations. We are bombarded with lies that set up barriers to enjoying sex in marriage. In order for a husband to empathize and encourage his wife to live in God’s fullness, it is helpful to understand the lies but also to realize that his actions can either enforce the lie or counteract them. Understand the lies your wife battles so that you can help her embrace the truth about sex.

Below are a list of the most common lies that women believe about sex. Will you help her battle them?

(A continuation of what I share in my men’s class, “What in the world is she thinking?”)

THE SWITCH – How to Turn On Your Wife’s Desire

by Ruth Buezis
June 8, 2015September 13, 2021

Women have this giant toggle switch and if it is turned “OFF” you will get absolutely nowhere. You might touch her exactly the right way, or say the perfect things, but her body does not respond. She acts like ice. Sometimes the switch will turn to “OFF” when she feels insecure about whether you really love her. She may test you to see if you will give up on her. If you pass the test the switch can flip to the “ON” position, and in an instant she can open up. So what does a woman need to feel to have her switch turned “ON”? Read More »THE SWITCH – How to Turn On Your Wife’s Desire

LIVE THE SONG – ONE GLANCE OF YOUR EYES

by Ruth Buezis
June 4, 2015September 22, 2016

Song of Songs 4-7-9

⁷You are altogether beautiful, my darling;

there is no flaw in you.

⁸Come with me from Lebanon, my bride,

    come with me from Lebanon.
Descend from the crest of Amana,
    from the top of Senir, the summit of Hermon,
from the lions’ dens
    and the mountain haunts of leopards.
⁹You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart
with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.

The eyes are so powerful. Over and over in Song of Songs, connection is made through eye to eye contact.

PART OF THE SOLUTION – Battling Pornography

by Ruth Buezis
June 2, 2015November 29, 2018

God has continued to prompt me to do something – anything – about pornography. What this next generation – my daughters generation – faces is like nothing we have ever seen before. The advent of smart phones and the endless supply of twisted material available to younger and younger kids can warp a child’s sense of sex and intimacy before they are even old enough to date. Wives are left feeling betrayed, and unable to measure up. Husband struggle to regain control over their lives. Some wives give up and decide to join in. They look to porn to add excitement to their sex life rather than intimately reveal their own desires.

So I keep knocking on the door of my pastors.

What are we going to do?

Do you realize how big this problem is and how big it is going to be?

How can we extend grace and mercy to those in bondage?

How can we support the wives that feel completely alone?

Porn impacts all of us. It affects our daughters, our sons, our grandchildren and our friends. Porn changes the fabric of our society and how we view this awesome gift of sex. It changes how men view and treat women. Porn will not just go away and no one else will fix it. We must all be part of the solution….

LIVE THE SONG – TWO FAWNS

by Ruth Buezis
May 28, 2015September 22, 2016

Song of Songs 4:5-7

⁵Your breasts are like two fawns,
    like twin fawns of a gazelle
    that browse among the lilies.
⁶Until the day breaks
    and the shadows flee,
I will go to the mountain of myrrh
    and to the hill of incense.
⁷You are altogether beautiful, my darling;
    there is no flaw in you.

It amazes me how entertaining breasts are to men….

DON’T GIVE UP – Using a Vibrator

by Ruth Buezis
May 20, 2015November 29, 2018

This week Julie Sibert over at Intimacy in Marriage posted a great article titled Encouraging Post menopausal women to not give up on sex….

In the article she shares an email from a post menopausal woman who discovered what a helpful tools vibrators can be. . As her menopausal body struggled to physically respond the vibrator added the extra physical stimulation to help her enjoy sex again. She felt excited as she and her husband could once again enjoy sex.

Vibrators

Vibrators have gradually become main stream for the general population. In the US over 50% of women have tried one at least once. The younger generation is much more open to their use than the older generation. Many of us did not grow up talking about sex or able to research sex on the internet. The idea of touching ourselves, participating in activities other than intercourse or using a vibrator is what “those other women” do, not us…

While sex is about more than having the biggest orgasm, God did intend wives to fully enjoy sex. Why else would He give us a clitoris?

RUNNING START

by Ruth Buezis
May 18, 2015July 17, 2017
4 Comments

Having an orgasm is like jumping off of a cliff – sometimes you need to step back, take a deep breath, and take a running start at it.

Most summers, over the 4th of July, you will find my family relaxing at our church camp, Covenant Pines. One of my favorite activities is the huge rope swing. You jump off a platform and swing over the water to drop into refreshment.

I love the feel of swinging through the air and then letting go to plunge in, but jumping off the platform is hard. I am afraid of heights and if I think about it too much, I could easily turn around. Sometimes people get stuck right at the edge, clutching the rope and thinking about all the things that could go wrong. They try to will themselves to go, but their bodies won’t move. At this point, it is time for a different strategy.

Sometimes you need to take a few steps back from the edge, relax from holding onto the rope so tight, take a deep breath, and then take a running start at it.

One, Two , Three – Go!!!

With the conviction of “I am going to do this”, and feet running forward, their body launches into one of the funnest experiences of the summer.

Sometimes, when we get stuck at the edge of an orgasm, we need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and take a running start at it.

LIVE THE SONG – YOUR LIPS

by Ruth Buezis
May 15, 2015September 22, 2016

Song of Songs 4:1-4 He 4 How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a… Read More »LIVE THE SONG – YOUR LIPS

THE NEXT GENERATION

by Ruth Buezis
May 13, 2015September 22, 2016
2 Comments

I probably know too much…

I hear the pain of a bride that saved herself until marriage, met the man of her dreams, fell in love, and fully gave herself to him. I hear the pain of finding out her young husband isn’t all that interested in sex because years ago he had been seduced by the images in pornography. He would rather spend time with a screen than learn how to love his wife.

I hear the pain of a young mom once again answering to the effects of sexual abuse at the hands of her uncle. She thought she had dealt with it, but the pain in her voice and tears on her face say something else. Now with young children, the burden of protecting them rips open her wound in a new place.

I hear the cries of a generation growing up where living together before marriage is the answer to growing up in a broken home. Marriage is reserved as a capstone after experiencing as much of life as you can before settling down to the boring regimen of marriage to raise a family.

I hear the regret of the girl that succumbed to the power of turning a man’s head by using her body to feel loved, desired and needed. Struggling to find freedom with the man that God has now bound her to in marriage, she repents and asks God to erase the memories and make her new.

I hear the pain of growing up in a generation where watching porn as a couple is normal. Instead of making sex better by increasing intimacy, you make sex better by adding some new thrill or even person.

I hear the pain of living in a world where even pictures from phones can be photo shopped to remove your wrinkles and blemishes. No longer are you just comparing yourself to the stars in the magazines, but to your friends posting on Facebook.

Ruth Buezis

THE PLAY BOOK – Learning to have Great Sex

Fundamentals

Like this:

THE LIES YOUR WIFE BATTLES

Like this:

THE SWITCH – How to Turn On Your Wife’s Desire

Like this:

LIVE THE SONG – ONE GLANCE OF YOUR EYES

Song of Songs 4-7-9

Like this:

PART OF THE SOLUTION – Battling Pornography

So I keep knocking on the door of my pastors.

Like this:

LIVE THE SONG – TWO FAWNS

Like this:

DON’T GIVE UP – Using a Vibrator

Vibrators

Like this:

RUNNING START

Sometimes, when we get stuck at the edge of an orgasm, we need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and take a running start at it.

Like this:

LIVE THE SONG – YOUR LIPS

Like this:

THE NEXT GENERATION

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Buy the book

Ruth Buezis

Fundamentals

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Song of Songs 4-7-9

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So I keep knocking on the door of my pastors.

Sharing is Caring

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Sharing is Caring

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Vibrators

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Sometimes, when we get stuck at the edge of an orgasm, we need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and take a running start at it.

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Buy the book