Have you ever thought about the power of stillness?
To feel a pulse
Hear from God
To listen to our own bodies and desires
Sometimes I think that we have this idea that sex is all about movement – in and out, back and forth, frantic motion – trying to make something happen. So much motion that we get lost and dizzy and miss out on what is there all along.
When I think about stillness, I think about lying on top of my husband, face to face, hearing his breath, feeling the pulse where our bodies meet, and hearing the bu bum – bu bum of his heart beating. In this stillness, we find each other and then we go somewhere together.
Don’t get me wrong – there are times for movement – lots of movement. But there are also times for stillness. In fact, movement means so much more when it is contrasted to stillness. Stillness sling shots us into places that we could not go otherwise by making us wait – we settle, we feel, we awaken, we yearn, we ache – all the while pulling the elastic of the sling shot further and further back until we cannot stand it anymore.
Stillness during sex might be —
Climbing on top of your husband, sitting completely still, focusing on feeling him inside of your body and waiting for pleasure spots to awaken. Hearts beat together, eyes lock, and the vagina begins to grasp, hold and press against him.
Taking your husband to the edge – and then holding him there. The mouth encompasses him in stillness as the tongue firmly presses into the sweetest of spots – his frenulum. He urges for more and thru stillness you are able to sense his rolling over the peak even before he does.
Fingers sensitively intertwined in your wife’s inner lips and clitoris. Lubrication acts as a conduit to meld two bodies together so that no pulse, no sensation is missed. Play that happens in other areas – the breasts, the lips – thru stillness is felt with fingers as the clitoris becomes aroused.
A wet tongue firmly pressed against her sweetest spot, intently feeling her and urging her to awaken. Movement counterbalances stillness when she longs for more and then pauses once again. As her body awakens and begins to move against a still tongue, you feel and wait patiently for your turn to show her what you have learned.
Stillness is a powerful way to experience each other and for most of us it does not come naturally. It is something that comes with maturity as we relax, stop trying so hard and just enjoy. When I think about some of the most profound encounters with God, it has been when I have been still. Dare to try something different during sex and…
Just Be Still
Psalm 23:2-3 He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.
The Author
I like the sling shot metaphor and the thought of how stillness can help us awaken in our bodies and to one another.
So true 🙂 Love this
The American sex industry has most people duped into hungry lustful sex instead of quiet connection. Giving touch prolongs the act and makes orgasm completely optional and makes loving feelings between husband and wife intense and almost honeymoon like. Once a month is good less is better for an orgasm but general sexual connection often happens 2x daily. You are always primed and there is little need for foreplay. Some call this karezza but we call it making love. There is a real trick to learning this but the payoff beats a 60 second organs all to pieces. Look up reuniting or Marnia Robinson and read her book “peace between the sheets”. A little new age-ish but full of wisdom for people who want a healing and healthy sexual relationship.
Jack,
I have not read the book “Peace Between the Sheets”, but it looks like an interesting read.I’ll keep an eye open for it at the thrift stores – which is where I pick up a lot of my books.
Honestly, I don’t believe that all sex should be either a quiet connection or hungry lustful sex. I think we are supposed to experience the full range of sexual expression and that it ought to in some way represent who we are at that moment in time. I do agree that sex has been skewed toward hungry lustful sex by culture and many people are missing out on some the pleasures of real connection.
Thanks for the comment,
Ruth