God Likes Marriage Steamy Hot

We are in a battle to save marriage

The way we save marriage is by making our marriage so good that our kids say,

“I want that! I want what mom and dad have!”

We save marriage by working on ourselves and learning to love each other like Christ loved the church – by putting our spouse’s needs before ours. We save marriage by committing to never consider divorce, even while working through gut wrenching pain. Rather than complaining about our spouse we take a hard look at ourselves and see what needs to change, and then pleading for God to make it so. We save marriage by tapping into the gift of sex to make us into one, to find refreshment in each other, and to transform our marriage from lukewarm into steamy hot.

Revelation 3:16 says So, because you are lukewarm – neither hot or cold – I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

God hates it when Christians act lukewarm. When Christians honor him with their mouth, but their heart is far from Him. To them, God is an obligation, a box on their checklist, and a duty. Rather than making real sacrifices, they serve just enough to feel good about themselves. They have no desire to know God or spend time with him and do not understand the depths of His love for them. They take care of themselves and rely on God for nothing. Worship is simply a ritual, void of awe or heart or freedom.

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by Ruth Buezis March 23, 2017

The Roles God Calls Us To – Lead and Submit

Ingrained in Christian marriage is the expectation of roles – that the husband will lead and the wife will submit.

Ephesians 5:21-23 –And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church.

I have to admit that I still prickle at the verse. As a woman that grew up climbing trees, playing Little League baseball with the boys, and attending a male dominated engineering school, I have to remind myself that this verse is not about holding women back. The verse is about bringing order to human relationships and about loving each other by denying ourselves. And even though the verse prickles me, deep down I want my husband to lead. In fact, it is a real turn on for my husband to lead, and I constantly hear other women say the same thing.

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by Ruth Buezis March 20, 2017

Come to Me

God woos us. He calls us to come to Him. To lay down our burdens and our worries and to find Him with arms open wide. He doesn’t force us, he doesn’t manipulate us, he doesn’t barter with us. He just says “Come”.

Rev 3:20 – Here I am. I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.
Psalm 23:6 – Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.
Matthew 11:28 – “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

God loves us, even in our sin. He loves us even if we ignore Him, or reject Him. He loves us though we forget him or get distracted. He loves us no matter what.

Romans 5:8 says, But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

God gives us free will to choose. He could have forced us to love him. He could have forced us to serve him. He could have commanded us to bow down in worship. He could have made us into robots to do his will – but He doesn’t. He wants us to choose Him. He wants us to Come to Him.

So, if we are supposed to love our spouse like Christ loved the church then…

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by Ruth Buezis March 16, 2017

ASK

Sometimes the burden feels so heavy because there is so much brokeness and so little truth about sex- and then I remember that God does the heavy lifting.

Matthew 7:7 – Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.

And so I am asking you to join me in prayer for 4 specific things.

Pray for God to raise up women warriors to speak the truth about sexuality…Whether sharing with a friend, facilitating an Awaken-Love class, or starting their own ministry, I am asking that God would light a fire of urgency in sharing God’s truth about sex.

Pray for church leaders to wake up to the need for wholeness in sexuality… Pray for pastors to be equipped with good resources. Pray for open doors to share about Awaken-Love and the impact it has made in marriages. Pray for opportunities for you to share what you have learned on your own journey.

Pray for Godly men to rise up to lead…I believe that an important part of turning the tide about sexuality is men rising up to become protectors of women. Men taking a stance against sexualizing girls to sell products, men showing other men how to live without lusting, men speaking about the dangers of pornography, and husbands learning to articulate the truth about sex in loving ways to their wife.

Pray for everyone involved in pornography…From kids, men and women that daily battle to stay pure, to actors whose past wounds led them to involvement, to the film crews, stage hands and set designers that make a living somehow numb to what they are creating, to the producers caught in a money trap. Pray that God would wake them up to what they are doing and that He would show them what is good and true and pure, and that God would provide a way out.

Fervently ASK God to do the impossible

and when He does

give Him all the Glory.

by Ruth Buezis March 13, 2017

It’s About the Heart

God has always been more concerned with our heart than with our actions.

Matthew 5:8 – God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.
Proverbs 23:26 – Give me your heart. May your eyes take delight in following my ways.
Joel 2:12-13 – …Give me your hearts…Don’t tear your clothing in your grief, but tear your hearts instead.
Matthew 15:8 – These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.

God wants our heart. He wants us to fall head over heels in love with Him and when we do, our actions flow out of that.

I spent years trying to do the right things – going to church, studying the bible, serving – and it wasn’t until I stopped striving and just fell crazy in love with God that I really got it. God loves me so much, no matter what I do. Because He loves me, all I want to do is know Him more. I talk to Him, I go where He sends me, and I lay down what He asks me to lay down. When I am broken I run to Him. I worship Him because I must, and I cannot imagine my life without Him.

Based on Ephesians 5:31-32, if our sex life mirrors our relationship with God…

Then sex is not about going thru the motions, but it is about the heart!

I cannot tell you how many marriage books I’ve read that say, “you need to do it for your husband.” As if our husband wants us to just go through the motions – to show up and take care of his physical needs.

Honestly, I don’t think husbands are any different than God. I think they are much more interested in our heart, then in us going thru the motions. As Jim and I have taught Awaken-Love Men’s Edition, I have been struck by the singular message that men do not want their wife to just show up for sex. They want them to be engaged, to desire connection and to enjoy sex as much as they do. They want sex to flow out of their wife’s heart.We have to understand that sex is much more than a physical urge.

Sex is a way that we express what is in our heart.

by Ruth Buezis March 9, 2017

Freebie for Her

One of the best ways to help your wife BELIEVE sex is just as important for her as it is for you, is to give her a FREEBIE. Serving her will communicate that you care about her enjoyment as much as yours. When you enjoy sex without an orgasm, she will realize that sex is not just physical for you, but that you love feeling close to her.

So my challenge to the husbands is…

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by Ruth Buezis March 6, 2017

Naked and Unashamed

Sex in marriage is supposed to be a little taste of what God intended in the Garden of Eden.

To Be Naked and Unashamed.

God created us for intimacy – to be fully known – to Him and to our spouse. Because Jesus died for our sins and paid the price, we can have a face to face relationship with God. But being fully known takes courage.

I spent years trying to follow the rules, do the right thing, and take care of myself. I also spent years afraid to fail, say the wrong thing, or really show myself. When I finally understood just how broken I was, how incapable of doing anything on my own and how much I needed a savior, I was released from the burden of trying to be perfect. Jesus set me free – to fail, to let God work through me, to cry out to Him and to be myself. I let God fully know me and it has allowed me to be naked and unashamed with Him and with others.

But just like we are supposed to be Naked and Unashamed with God, we are supposed to be Naked and unashamed in marriage.

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by Ruth Buezis March 2, 2017

Getting Away

Getting Away feeds our souls.

It was important to Jesus, it is important to us as individuals, and it is important to our marriage.

Jesus made it a habit to get away by himself and pray…

Luke 5:15-16 ….vast crowds came to hear him preach and to be healed of their diseases. But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.

In the midst of busyness, serving others and feeling overwhelmed Jesus escaped to find refreshment with his Father. He knew that in order to care for others, He had to care for himself by communing with God. Jesus withdrew to quiet places where no one could find him. Places without the distraction of the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Places where no schedule existed and no phone rang. Jesus withdrew alone. He did not take his disciples – not even Peter, James or John. He knew that true communion happened when it was just Him and His father and sometimes He even spent all night praying. I think these moments of solitude with God fed his soul so that He could pour himself out again.

Have you ever gotten away with God? Extended time, free from the noise of life, where just you and God exist. It might have been a solitude retreat, a day in bed, 15 minutes of quiet or a hike through the woods. God speaks so clearly when the noise is gone. Time with God leaves me refreshed to be a better mom, wife and friend, and I could not do ministry without it.

If intimacy in marriage mirrors intimacy with Christ…

Then it is important for us to have times where we as a couple withdraw to a quiet place to commune.

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by Ruth Buezis February 23, 2017

Blindfold Him

If you want your husband to be more in tune with you during sex, a simple blindfold might be just the ticket. Men are visual. That is how God created them and it is a good thing. But sometimes if we want to stretch and experience life more fully, we need to take away our “go to” sense and challenge our bodies to learn something new. If you want your husband to be more in tune to touch, to use his words, to feel more subtle movements during intercourse, then it might be time to take away his sense of sight – at least for a while. And along the way, it might encourage new growth in you too.

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by Ruth Buezis February 13, 2017

Back to the Basics

For months, I have known that I needed to make a change. My phone and computer have been running my life. An email comes in and my heart beats with excitement for someone that might be signing up for a class or asking advice. I hop over to Facebook and check notifications, scrolling for the latest news, then I click over to check stats on my website. Minutes turn into hours and before long I am wondering what happened to my day.

It is time to get back to my first love, spending time with Jesus.

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by Ruth Buezis February 9, 2017

Tag: marriage

We are in a battle to save marriage

The way we save marriage is by making our marriage so good that our kids say,

“I want that! I want what mom and dad have!”

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Ingrained in Christian marriage is the expectation of roles – that the husband will lead and the wife will submit.

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

So, if we are supposed to love our spouse like Christ loved the church then…

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

And so I am asking you to join me in prayer for 4 specific things.

Fervently ASK God to do the impossible

and when He does

give Him all the Glory.

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

God has always been more concerned with our heart than with our actions.

Based on Ephesians 5:31-32, if our sex life mirrors our relationship with God…

Then sex is not about going thru the motions, but it is about the heart!

Sex is a way that we express what is in our heart.

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Sex in marriage is supposed to be a little taste of what God intended in the Garden of Eden.

To Be Naked and Unashamed.

But just like we are supposed to be Naked and Unashamed with God, we are supposed to be Naked and unashamed in marriage.

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Getting Away feeds our souls.

It was important to Jesus, it is important to us as individuals, and it is important to our marriage.

If intimacy in marriage mirrors intimacy with Christ…

Then it is important for us to have times where we as a couple withdraw to a quiet place to commune.

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

It is time to get back to my first love, spending time with Jesus.

Sharing is Caring

Like this: