intimacy

Intercourse Insight

by Ruth Buezis
January 9, 2017July 31, 2017
15 Comments

Intercourse is God’s design to make what seems like an impossibility, an opportunity for growth.

Over the course of my marriage, intercourse has changed drastically from

something that I just endured
to something that frustrated the heck out of me
to something that I crave- regardless of whether I reach orgasm.

Intercourse, more than any other sexual act has stretched my husband and I to talk about really hard stuff. It has forced us to not just focus on mechanics but on connection. We have thrown out every preconceived idea of what intercourse looks like and instead created something that works for us. And we have grown enormously because of it, individually and as a couple.

Top 10 Reasons to Take an Awaken Love Class

by Ruth Buezis
January 2, 2017June 19, 2018

Top 10 Reasons to take an Awaken-Love Class 10. To learn how to say “orgasm” without blushing 9. To help me feel more comfortable talking… Read More »Top 10 Reasons to Take an Awaken Love Class

Do it for You

by Ruth Buezis
December 19, 2016June 19, 2018
4 Comments

I will never forget the woman, tears streaming down her cheeks, her gentle husband just a step behind. She came to talk during intermission at one of my couples seminars on sex. “I am sorry”, she said, “I have to leave. This is just too painful. You see I was abused as a child… I want to do this for my husband… really, I just can’t right now.”

As I listened to her story, I was struck by the common thread that holds so many Christian wives.

Do it for your husband

It is a thread that weaves throughout our sexuality impacting us so profoundly and yet many of us may not even know it exists. This message of “Do it for your husband” sounds so Christian, putting someone ahead of yourself, and yet in many ways it slowly strangles our sexuality until it all just feels like a chore. This subtle thread insinuates that sex is not important to wives. It implies that God did not create sex as a gift for women and that, IS A LIE.

Creative Date Ideas

by Ruth Buezis
December 1, 2016June 19, 2018
9 Comments

One of the questions I ask women during class is, “What is something romantic that your husband could plan for you?”

I’ve heard all kinds of answers but was totally caught off guard when one woman said,

“Honestly, if I could just have some time alone – with no kids, no husband and no expectations.”

Pretty soon more women were jumping on board and sharing how even though they love it when their husband plans a special date, it always feels like it comes with strings attached. Instead of enjoying the night and being thankful for a husband that wants to romance them, they dread what is next.

How sad is that! Our husband tries to do something nice and we spend our night thinking, “Darn, he is going to expect sex tonight.”

We kind of do it to ourselves I suppose…

Helping your husband with Performance Struggles

by Ruth Buezis
November 21, 2016June 19, 2018
4 Comments

Whatever struggle or frustration we face in our marriage bed impacts both of us.

Just like you would want your husband to be part of the solution when you have trouble reaching orgasm, we need to be part of the solution when our husband wants to last longer, or has a hard time keeping his erection.

Checking Him Out – Enjoying Your Eyes

by Ruth Buezis
November 17, 2016June 19, 2018

A year ago, my husband decided he should start doing sit ups to flatten the small ponch that naturally forms around the waist of a 50 year old man. Every night after he is ready for bed, he lays down on his back to crunch out 30 sit ups. His morning routine begins the same way. At first I didn’t think much of it, but lately I have realized just how much I enjoy it.

Understanding our Differences

by Ruth Buezis
November 14, 2016May 18, 2018
3 Comments

I have to be honest, sex has been hard lately. My body is aging, my attitude is lousy, and I am beginning to get back into old habits of focusing too much on the finish line. Trust me, I know all the right answers. I have been teaching them to women for over 4 years. But no matter how much I know, some days are just tough. In fact, lately I found myself questioning whether I was a total fraud teaching and writing about sex – somehow implying that if you understand and put into practice what I teach, everything will magically fall into place. Honestly, some days I just wish sex was as easy for me as it is for my husband.

Let me share a few thoughts

So women won’t feel quite so alone, and

Men will have a peek at the battle their wife faces.

Sleep Aid

by Ruth Buezis
October 20, 2016May 18, 2018
5 Comments

A few years ago my husband took a business trip to Taiwan for a couple of weeks. You can imagine how exhausted he felt when… Read More »Sleep Aid

How do you bring God into your marriage bed?

by Ruth Buezis
October 10, 2016June 19, 2018
3 Comments

I have this theory that most people who grow up in the church know that God created sex and that it is good. But when it comes down to actually enjoying sex, they leave Him on the other side of the bedroom door. They quickly close the door, slide the deadbolt, and try to just forget God is even in the house.

deadbolt

It as if we cannot love God and enjoy sex at the same time. God may have created sex, He may want me to enjoy it, but surely He doesn’t want to know what we are doing in here. Because sex is worldly, it is physical, erotic – and it is very separate from God. So we sneak around, feeling guilty if we enjoy it, and at church we pretend like sex does not even exist.

What would I write about sex?

by Ruth Buezis
October 3, 2016May 18, 2018
12 Comments

Recently I read a great book on marriage by a well respected author and of course there was a chapter on sex buried near the end of the book. Since I have been teaching women about sex, I have this habit of filtering whatever I read thru the lens of what a Christian wife would hear.

What I remember from the sex chapters in most Christian books is 2 things…

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intimacy

Intercourse Insight

Intercourse is God’s design to make what seems like an impossibility, an opportunity for growth.

Like this:

Top 10 Reasons to Take an Awaken Love Class

Like this:

Do it for You

Do it for your husband

Like this:

Creative Date Ideas

How sad is that! Our husband tries to do something nice and we spend our night thinking, “Darn, he is going to expect sex tonight.”

Like this:

Helping your husband with Performance Struggles

Whatever struggle or frustration we face in our marriage bed impacts both of us.

Like this:

Checking Him Out – Enjoying Your Eyes

Like this:

Understanding our Differences

Let me share a few thoughts

So women won’t feel quite so alone, and

Men will have a peek at the battle their wife faces.

Like this:

Sleep Aid

Like this:

How do you bring God into your marriage bed?

Like this:

What would I write about sex?

What I remember from the sex chapters in most Christian books is 2 things…

Like this:

Buy the book

intimacy

Intercourse is God’s design to make what seems like an impossibility, an opportunity for growth.

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Do it for your husband

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

How sad is that! Our husband tries to do something nice and we spend our night thinking, “Darn, he is going to expect sex tonight.”

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Whatever struggle or frustration we face in our marriage bed impacts both of us.

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Let me share a few thoughts

So women won’t feel quite so alone, and

Men will have a peek at the battle their wife faces.

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

What I remember from the sex chapters in most Christian books is 2 things…

Sharing is Caring

Like this:

Buy the book