It’s About the Heart
God has always been more concerned with our heart than with our actions. Matthew 5:8 – God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they… Read More »It’s About the Heart
intimacy
Naked and Unashamed
Sex in marriage is supposed to be a little taste of what God intended in the Garden of Eden.
To Be Naked and Unashamed.
God created us for intimacy – to be fully known – to Him and to our spouse. Because Jesus died for our sins and paid the price, we can have a face to face relationship with God. But being fully known takes courage.
I spent years trying to follow the rules, do the right thing, and take care of myself. I also spent years afraid to fail, say the wrong thing, or really show myself. When I finally understood just how broken I was, how incapable of doing anything on my own and how much I needed a savior, I was released from the burden of trying to be perfect. Jesus set me free – to fail, to let God work through me, to cry out to Him and to be myself. I let God fully know me and it has allowed me to be naked and unashamed with Him and with others.
But just like we are supposed to be Naked and Unashamed with God, we are supposed to be Naked and unashamed in marriage.
Hidden Struggles
You cannot always tell how people are doing, or what kind of shape their marriage is in.
I remember more than one marriage at church that imploded and nobody had a clue until one spouse completely threw in the towel.
A few months ago we received this letter from a women that participated in an Awaken-Love Class.
When I was asked to be apart of a 6-week Awaken Love class, I thought to myself what in the world was God thinking! Turns out he knew what he was doing. My marriage of 24 years was on the brink of divorce. There wasn’t any thing that was going to change my mind, I was done.
During this class, I learned a lot about how much God loves marriage and how much he’s involved in our marriage beds. I will forever be grateful for the class and the other 6 women, who have become sweet friends. I cherish the time we shared together. The books are awesome too. I plan to read them from front to back. Oh and by the way, my husband was disappointed when the 6 weeks was over. He looked forward to each weeks homework. Our intimacy, our sex life, our love for each other has grown. He told me just this morning that we’re making love more now than ever before. We have both been changed.
Thank you again from the bottom of my heart,
This woman had been involved in church and marriage ministry for years, and my guess is that few people knew what was really going on in her life.
Getting Away
Getting Away feeds our souls.
It was important to Jesus, it is important to us as individuals, and it is important to our marriage.
Jesus made it a habit to get away by himself and pray…
Luke 5:15-16 ….vast crowds came to hear him preach and to be healed of their diseases. But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.
In the midst of busyness, serving others and feeling overwhelmed Jesus escaped to find refreshment with his Father. He knew that in order to care for others, He had to care for himself by communing with God. Jesus withdrew to quiet places where no one could find him. Places without the distraction of the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Places where no schedule existed and no phone rang. Jesus withdrew alone. He did not take his disciples – not even Peter, James or John. He knew that true communion happened when it was just Him and His father and sometimes He even spent all night praying. I think these moments of solitude with God fed his soul so that He could pour himself out again.
Have you ever gotten away with God? Extended time, free from the noise of life, where just you and God exist. It might have been a solitude retreat, a day in bed, 15 minutes of quiet or a hike through the woods. God speaks so clearly when the noise is gone. Time with God leaves me refreshed to be a better mom, wife and friend, and I could not do ministry without it.
If intimacy in marriage mirrors intimacy with Christ…
Then it is important for us to have times where we as a couple withdraw to a quiet place to commune.
Interruptible
I have this friend that prays,
“God help me to be interruptible.”
She wants to live so in tune to God, that if He calls her to stop and pray with someone, or help someone in need, she will do it. She will put aside her own plans, her own agenda, trust that God has something for her and step into it. It’s not an easy thing to do, to be interruptible. It takes living in a way, that you hear God throughout your day. You have to let go of control and your own agenda. It takes being flexible, and spontaneous and it takes trusting God.
If our relationship with God mirrors intimacy in marriage…
Then shouldn’t the same be true in marriage and in sex. Aren’t we supposed to be interruptible.
Blindfold Him
If you want your husband to be more in tune with you during sex, a simple blindfold might be just the ticket. Men are visual. That is how God created them and it is a good thing. But sometimes if we want to stretch and experience life more fully, we need to take away our “go to” sense and challenge our bodies to learn something new. If you want your husband to be more in tune to touch, to use his words, to feel more subtle movements during intercourse, then it might be time to take away his sense of sight – at least for a while. And along the way, it might encourage new growth in you too.
Podcast about Awaken-Love Men’s Edition
My husband and I team up to teach a class called Awaken-Love Men’s Edition. About a month ago, I sat down with Belah Rose from… Read More »Podcast about Awaken-Love Men’s Edition
Do We Only Show the Presentable Parts or All of Me?
Sometimes in the church, we think in order to commune with God we need to have our life put together. It seems like nobody struggles in their marriage, with depression, with pornography or rebellious kids. If they do, they sure as heck don’t talk about it. Pretty soon we begin to believe that God only wants to know the presentable parts. When we struggle, we go into hiding and say, “God, when I have this figured out, then…” As a college kid that drank too much, church was the last place I wanted to go. I did not want to see God, talk to Him or hear from Him. I thought I needed to fix myself first, and honestly that might never have happened.
Read More »Do We Only Show the Presentable Parts or All of Me?
A Great Sex Life – Not all Rocket Science
Having a great sex life is not all rocket science. The small everyday things that we do make a huge difference. They set the stage and are the meat and potatoes of our relationship that great sex rolls out of. So, I thought I would share some of the small practical everyday things that make a difference to my husband and me.
Mismatched Sex Drive
“Why don’t I have a drive like my husband?”
This wasn’t the first time I had heard this question. It is easy as a lower drive spouse to feel like something is wrong with us because we don’t have a drive. It must be awesome to want sex all the time – it would make life so much easier.
When it comes to sex, I don’t really think there is an easy road. We just have different challenges to navigate.
Honestly, I think part of our problem is giving our drives way too much power. As Christians, we say that sex is not just physical, but do we really believe it and do we live it? If we believed sex was a gift from God to strengthen marriage, wouldn’t we be having sex regardless of whether our physical body was screaming for it.
