God has always been more concerned with our heart than with our actions.

• Matthew 5:8 – God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.
• Proverbs 23:26 – Give me your heart. May your eyes take delight in following my ways.
• Joel 2:12-13 – …Give me your hearts…Don’t tear your clothing in your grief, but tear your hearts instead.
• Matthew 15:8 – These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.

God wants our heart. He wants us to fall head over heels in love with Him and when we do, our actions flow out of that.

I spent years trying to do the right things – going to church, studying the bible, serving – and it wasn’t until I stopped striving and just fell crazy in love with God that I really got it. God loves me so much, no matter what I do. Because He loves me, all I want to do is know Him more. I talk to Him, I go where He sends me, and I lay down what He asks me to lay down. When I am broken I run to Him. I worship Him because I must, and I cannot imagine my life without Him.

Based on Ephesians 5:31-32, if our sex life mirrors our relationship with God…

Then sex is not about going thru the motions, but it is about the heart!

I cannot tell you how many marriage books I’ve read that say, “you need to do it for your husband.” As if our husband wants us to just go through the motions – to show up and take care of his physical needs.

Honestly, I don’t think husbands are any different than God. I think they are much more interested in our heart, then in us going thru the motions. As Jim and I have taught Awaken-Love Men’s Edition, I have been struck by the singular message that men do not want their wife to just show up for sex. They want them to be engaged, to desire connection and to enjoy sex as much as they do. They want sex to flow out of their wife’s heart.We have to understand that sex is much more than a physical urge.

Sex is a way that we express what is in our heart.

Sex in marriage is supposed to be a little taste of what God intended in the Garden of Eden.  

To Be Naked and Unashamed.

God created us for intimacy – to be fully known – to Him and to our spouse. Because Jesus died for our sins and paid the price, we can have a face to face relationship with God. But being fully known takes courage.

I spent years trying to follow the rules, do the right thing, and take care of myself. I also spent years afraid to fail, say the wrong thing, or really show myself. When I finally understood just how broken I was, how incapable of doing anything on my own and how much I needed a savior, I was released from the burden of trying to be perfect. Jesus set me free – to fail, to let God work through me, to cry out to Him and to be myself. I let God fully know me and it has allowed me to be naked and unashamed with Him and with others.

But just like we are supposed to be Naked and Unashamed with God, we are supposed to be Naked and unashamed in marriage.

(more…)

Sometimes in the church, we think in order to commune with God we need to have our life put together. It seems like nobody struggles in their marriage, with depression, with pornography or rebellious kids. If they do, they sure as heck don’t talk about it. Pretty soon we begin to believe that God only wants to know the presentable parts. When we struggle, we go into hiding and say, “God, when I have this figured out, then…” As a college kid that drank too much, church was the last place I wanted to go. I did not want to see God, talk to Him or hear from Him. I thought I needed to fix myself first, and honestly that might never have happened.

(more…)