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christian sex

What Are You Willing To Try?

1387693-Choices

 

I’ve been studying the anonymous surveys from the women that attended my advanced class “How to have an orgasm during intercourse”. In the survey I asked 2 simple questions…

How often do you orgasm during intercourse?

  1. Most times
  2. Some times
  3. Never

I orgasm during intercourse (check all that apply)

  1. Hands free
  2. With the help of His hands
  3. With the help of my hands
  4. With the help of a vibrator
  5. Other
  6. Never

Although my survey only included about 24 women I think some things can be gleaned from the answers. Not surprisingly the majority of the women were in the category of “Some times”, with a handful each in the “Most times” and the “Never” categories.

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What is holding YOU back?

So, why don’t you think you deserve it?

Maybe you are just apathetic and don’t think that it is that important to you. I constantly hear from wives that they want their husbands to open up, and share their feelings and deepest longings. Sex is one of the mysterious ways that God gets men to open up. Sex is also one of the mysterious ways that God teaches wives to live in the moment, to stop worrying, to let go of control, to feel, to live. Wake up! Sex is important!

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Do You Deserve It?

do-you-deserve-it

“Do I need to have an orgasm? I just enjoy feeling close to my husband.”

“Sometimes I don’t say anything because I don’t want to make my husband feel bad.”

“It seems like so much pressure to expect myself to be able to have an orgasm every time.”

Women seem so willing to settle when it comes to sex.

Can you imagine a husband saying, “Don’t worry about me. I just enjoy feeling close to you,” as they watch us experience fireworks that shudder through our entire body.  Fireworks that spread a sense of euphoria that leaves us unable to speak, think, or move. Time after time, they bow out saying, “don’t worry about me – it is too much time, too much work, too much trouble”. It’s hard to imagine isn’t it?

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What does God say about sex

My goal this Fall is to post on Mondays the series  “The sex you want” and Thursday I will post a short mission, something fun you can do with your spouse.

I spend a lot of time reading about sex – Christian books, secular books, how to manuals, research studies, therapy books  – and trust me, there is no lack of opinions. It can be easy to get caught up in what the latest book says and so it is with awe and respect that I have to constantly remind myself, “Go back to the source. What does God say about sex, what does the bible say?”

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Discoveries in Sex

Masters_Of_SexI’ve been reading the book” Masters of Sex” that chronicles the life of William Masters and Virginia Johnson who revolutionized sex in the 1960’s. Previous to their studies, even doctors knew absolutely nothing about the actual physiology of sex, especially for women. If wives went to their ob/gyn with a question, they were simply given a hug and told that everything would be ok. In fact, Master’s and Johnson’s initial medical articles on sex were scorned because not even doctors dared to talk about sex.

Masters and Johnson monitored and observed over 10,000 orgasms resulting from self-stimulation or intercourse over a period of 10 years. They studied heart rates, pulse, changes in coloration, breath rates and even made a camera to observe what happens inside the vagina. It is doubtful that a study will ever be allowed again of this magnitude.

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Summer Vacation Sex

La_Conner_July_4th_Family_Vacation4th of July is almost here and many of us will be heading out on vacation to soak up some sun, play with our kids, bike, swim, camp or whatever it is that you enjoy. For those of us with kids, at times it can feel like anything but a vacation. By the time we have packed everyone up, planned the meals, remembered the sunscreen and the bug spray and dealt with the disruption of regular schedules, we are ready for a vacation from vacation. Often, sex is the last thing on our mind during vacation, but if you are open, vacation can offer some unique possibilities for connecting with our spouse.

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Welcome Home Sex

welcome-homeI just got home from a High School Adventure Trip to the mountains in Canada that was an incredible week of hiking, climbing, caving and enjoying God’s creation. It was also 10 days away from my husband, my kids and my bed and I was dead tired, but one of the things I looked forward to most was reconnecting with my husband in a very physical way, if you know what I mean.

I haven’t always been so good at “welcome home sex”. I remember times when my husband would travel for work, and in order to survive, I would just emotionally shut down. By the time he got home, I had everything in order, but I had also put up a wall towards him. I didn’t welcome him home with open arms or an appetite for him. I made him pay his dues and ever so slowly allowed myself to open back up. I look back at those times and think, how much nicer it would have been if I could have just leaped into his arms and wrapped myself around him.

So how do we make “welcome home sex” what it is supposed to be?

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