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christian sex

Creative Date Ideas

One of the questions I ask women during class is, “What is something romantic that your husband could plan for you?”

I’ve heard all kinds of answers but was totally caught off guard when one woman said,

“Honestly, if I could just have some time alone – with no kids, no husband and no expectations.”

Pretty soon more women were jumping on board and sharing how even though they love it when their husband plans a special date, it always feels like it comes with strings attached. Instead of enjoying the night and being thankful for a husband that wants to romance them, they dread what is next.

How sad is that! Our husband tries to do something nice and we spend our night thinking, “Darn, he is going to expect sex tonight.”

We kind of do it to ourselves I suppose…

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Checking Him Out – Enjoying Your Eyes

A year ago, my husband decided he should start doing sit ups to flatten the small ponch that naturally forms around the waist of a 50 year old man. Every night after he is ready for bed, he lays down on his back to crunch out 30 sit ups. His morning routine begins the same way. At first I didn’t think much of it, but lately I have realized just how much I enjoy it.

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Understanding our Differences

I have to be honest, sex has been hard lately. My body is aging, my attitude is lousy, and I am beginning to get back into old habits of focusing too much on the finish line. Trust me, I know all the right answers. I have been teaching them to women for over 4 years.  But no matter how much I know, some days are just tough. In fact, lately I found myself questioning whether I was a total fraud teaching and writing about sex – somehow implying that if you understand and put into practice what I teach, everything will magically fall into place. Honestly, some days I just wish sex was as easy for me as it is for my husband.

Let me share a few thoughts

So women won’t feel quite so alone, and

Men will have a peek at the battle their wife faces.

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Riding the Train

I just celebrated my 29th anniversary with my husband Jim and I am just going to say he knocked it out of the park. He planned a surprise overnight on a Bed and Breakfast Train in Wisconsin!

I picked him up at work with a small overnight bag in the afternoon. We drove a couple of hours through beautiful country roads lined with the most beautiful fall colors of green, gold, orange and red leaves. We checked in at the train at 5 pm and were swiftly shown to our room to relax before dinner. It was an old train, with narrow aisles and when we saw our room we just busted up laughing. Read More »Riding the Train

How do you bring God into your marriage bed?

I have this theory that most people who grow up in the church know that God created sex and that it is good. But when it comes down to actually enjoying sex, they leave Him on the other side of the bedroom door. They quickly close the door, slide the deadbolt, and try to just forget God is even in the house.

deadbolt

It as if we cannot love God and enjoy sex at the same time. God may have created sex, He may want me to enjoy it, but surely He doesn’t want to know what we are doing in here. Because sex is worldly, it is physical, erotic – and it is very separate from God. So we sneak around, feeling guilty if we enjoy it, and at church we pretend like sex does not even exist.

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What would I write about sex?

Recently I read a great book on marriage by a well respected author and of course there was a chapter on sex buried near the end of the book. Since I have been teaching women about sex, I have this habit of filtering whatever I read thru the lens of what a Christian wife would hear.

What I remember from the sex chapters in most Christian books is 2 things…

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Woven Together – A Comfortable Manual Stimulation Position

Many women describe orgasms from masturbation or manual stimulation as their most physically intense and well defined orgasm. Because there is less distraction than during intercourse, women can focus on what they feel and experience. Hands and fingers  provide plenty of clitoral stimulation and orgasms can top the charts. But sometimes it’s hard finding a comfortable manual stimulation position.

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What About Romance Novels?

Recently when I was speaking to a group, one of the women asked,

“Are there Christian romance novels that you would recommend?”

I knew exactly what she was asking and so did most of the women in the room. Romance novels help women to get in the mood.

I remember as a teenager just beginning to read real books and stumbling upon the scenes that began to wake up my body. Romances where the guy said all the right things, whisked her off her feet, knew how to take her to the moon and back, and that honestly, stirred warm places in my body.

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Trying to Be Quiet Adds to the Excitement

Trying to be quiet during sex is tough!

We have gotten used to an empty house and the freedom to be as loud as we want, but recently we took an adult vacation with another couple. Spending time with my husband in the mountains, touring God’s creation could only lead to one thing – great sex. With our room right next to the other couples, we had to be extra quiet –  but in a way, it just added to the excitement.

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