Is Your Marriage Your First Priority?
Anything and everything will get in the way of your marriage and your sex life.
- Kids
- Work
- Social Media
- Staying fit
- Ministry
- Keeping up with the Jones
- Serving
- Screen time
- Chores
- Insecurities
- Expectations
christian sex
Do We Settle for Boring?
I think one of the most powerful messages that Satan uses to destroy marriage is the simple lie that …
Marriage is supposed to be boring.
or that…
Sex in marriage is just going to be boring.
Mismatched Sex Drive
“Why don’t I have a drive like my husband?”
This wasn’t the first time I had heard this question. It is easy as a lower drive spouse to feel like something is wrong with us because we don’t have a drive. It must be awesome to want sex all the time – it would make life so much easier.
When it comes to sex, I don’t really think there is an easy road. We just have different challenges to navigate.
Honestly, I think part of our problem is giving our drives way too much power. As Christians, we say that sex is not just physical, but do we really believe it and do we live it? If we believed sex was a gift from God to strengthen marriage, wouldn’t we be having sex regardless of whether our physical body was screaming for it.
Intimacy with ChristsMirrors Intimacy in Marriage
Over the last 6 years I have read a ton of books on sex, both secular and Christian. As you might imagine, with a million… Read More »Intimacy with ChristsMirrors Intimacy in Marriage
Intercourse Insight
Intercourse is God’s design to make what seems like an impossibility, an opportunity for growth.
Over the course of my marriage, intercourse has changed drastically from
- something that I just endured
- to something that frustrated the heck out of me
- to something that I crave- regardless of whether I reach orgasm.
Intercourse, more than any other sexual act has stretched my husband and I to talk about really hard stuff. It has forced us to not just focus on mechanics but on connection. We have thrown out every preconceived idea of what intercourse looks like and instead created something that works for us. And we have grown enormously because of it, individually and as a couple.
Does God have a Hierarchy of Orgasms?
I have a confession to make – for years I did not really enjoy intercourse. It just did nothing for me. In fact, many times it was even painful. And it used to upset me to read Christian books or blogs that said it is ok to enjoy the other stuff but intercourse should always be most important. It did not match my personal experience and it made me feel broken.
It was as if they were creating another expectation that I could not meet – a hierarchy of sexual enjoyment
- Simultaneous orgasm during intercourse
- Orgasm during intercourse hands free
- Orgasm during intercourse with help
- Orgasm during outer course
- Orgasm during manual stimulation
- Orgasm during oral stimulation
- Orgasm using a vibrator
- Orgasm while touching yourself
———-SCRATCH ————–
There is no hierarchy of sexual expression. God does not rate the sex acts.
Top 10 Reasons to Take an Awaken Love Class
Top 10 Reasons to take an Awaken-Love Class 10. To learn how to say “orgasm” without blushing 9. To help me feel more comfortable talking… Read More »Top 10 Reasons to Take an Awaken Love Class
Woman on Top
Woman on top is one of the most pleasure inducing positions for women and it is not all that different from riding a horse. While on vacation one of the high lights was riding Icelandic horses and it got me thinking about the similarities between riding horses and riding our husbands.
Before getting on your horse, you need to spend time getting to know him. You stroke his neck, speak his name and let him smell you. He learns who you are and your calmness settles him. Having sex is about connection and getting to know our husband. We have to begin with settling ourselves so that our husbands can relax. When we stop worrying and start being, we can feel our husband, smell him and see him. Do you know when you are connected to your husband or are you too busy thinking about the next thing you need to do or worrying about how you look?
Do it for You
I will never forget the woman, tears streaming down her cheeks, her gentle husband just a step behind. She came to talk during intermission at one of my couples seminars on sex. “I am sorry”, she said, “I have to leave. This is just too painful. You see I was abused as a child… I want to do this for my husband… really, I just can’t right now.”
As I listened to her story, I was struck by the common thread that holds so many Christian wives.
Do it for your husband
It is a thread that weaves throughout our sexuality impacting us so profoundly and yet many of us may not even know it exists. This message of “Do it for your husband” sounds so Christian, putting someone ahead of yourself, and yet in many ways it slowly strangles our sexuality until it all just feels like a chore. This subtle thread insinuates that sex is not important to wives. It implies that God did not create sex as a gift for women and that, IS A LIE.
One Woman at a Time
A little over a year ago, I sent this email to Melanie…”Today I will weep with God and with a gathering of friends. Tuesday’s class has been a constant confirmation that this [Awaken-Love] class is powerful and that there are so many women out there that need to attend. And I weep because I have no idea how to do it. I told God today that He is going to have to figure it out and open up doors. “
Three days later, I received an email from a woman I had never met before…
“My friend is currently in the Awake-Love class you are teaching on Tuesday nights. While I was visiting her in MN last week I heard about the class and was able to glance through the class outline. I am very interested in going through the class myself, but live out of state. Would it be possible for me to view the skype videos? She said you recommend watching them with a friend.”
