How the Awaken-Love Class Opened My Eyes to Sex God’s Way

Today’s guest post is by Sharelle Guyton who attended the women’s Awaken-Love study earlier this year. Sharelle shared thoughtful insights during the study and we are excited for you to hear some of her thoughts here as well.

My husband and I were no strangers to sex when we got married. This area of sin is something we struggled with individually before we met and exacerbated over the course of our dating relationship. During the last two years of dating, we got serious about being more obedient to God’s Word, which meant no sex or sexual activity until we got married. We were not perfect at this, but still never stopped trying.

After Marriage

After we got engaged, we were very curious about what sex would be like after marriage, when it was no longer a sin. We had a very short 6-month engagement and a small intimate wedding. As we were aiming to be more like Christ, we decided that was the best way to stay focused on Him and follow through with our commitment to sexual purity.

I was blessed to be able to take the Awaken-Love class after only three months of marriage. The results of applying the insight and wisdom from the course have far exceeded my expectations and imagination!

Thinking in hindsight about the years we both struggled to defeat sexual sin, the wisdom from the course was clear how interconnected it was to our disobedience to the will of God. As I learned about using intimacy with God as a model of intimacy with my husband, it was evident I was off target with my intimacy with God as a single woman. In the same way God is a model for my sexuality married, He was also a model for my sexuality single.

God’s Word

What struck me about the course is that the Word of God directly informs everything we need to know about having a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship with our husbands. The freedom that comes with the gift of understanding the goodness of God’s intention and purposes for sex are powerful.

My husband and I have experienced such healing from our past sexual sin because we know the truth of our identity in Christ. The opportunity to begin our sexual journey as a married couple with the foundation and principles of this class is something that we will use throughout the entire course of our marriage. We cannot thank you enough.

-Sharelle Guyton

by Ruth Buezis April 18, 2016

4 Year Anniversary of Awaken-Love

A year ago I wrote a post called REMEMBER that celebrated what God had done in my life and through Awaken-Love over the last 3 years. At the end of the post I made this statement…

The safety of staying in the back ground can be just as insulting to God. Why couldn’t God use me in those ways? What if I am supposed to speak to large groups? What if I am supposed to develop a video study? What if…?

I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would actually make videos of the Awaken-Love study, but this June it will become a reality. God has given me an amazing ministry partner in Melanie – we point each other to God, we challenge each other, we speak God’s truth, and we dream the impossible. God is moving so fast, it is both terrifying and exhilarating. He has led us every step of the way and we are so excited to offer the Awaken-Love study to every married women that wants to take it. We are praying for doors to open and connections to be made to get the videos into women’s hands. We are praying for deep conversations as women meet and use the videos to learn about the intimacy God desires for them in their marriage and in their relationship with Him. We are praying that women would be made whole and marriages strengthened as they journey thru Awaken-Love.

So today I REMEMBER year 4 of Awaken-Love

Deep and Wide

have a hard time turning people away from class just because it is filled. I figure that if they have enough nerve to contact me, then it is a divine appointment, that I had better keep. So for the last 6 months, every class I’ve taught has been filled with as many women as the room will hold. I worried that the large size (18-28 people) would result in women not sharing or going deep, but I have been completely proved wrong. Women have joined in on discussions, they have openly shared their struggles and in fact, they have ministered to each other in powerful ways. There has been laughter, compassion, righteous anger and tears as the women learn and share, and it has been amazing. I love teaching Awaken-Love and I consider it an absolute privilege to walk along side of women.

Friends

Melanie joined me in June . She is an amazing teacher, my ministry partner and we are joined at the heart. It has only been a year but it seems like a lifetime and I cannot imagine doing any of this without her. Erin, Melissa, Margie, Rebecca and Tracy have since joined our teaching ranks. Interviewing each of them was such a pleasure and privilege. To see God’s calling on them so strong, that they would step out and teach about sex – even when it was terrifying. They are amazing women and I consider it a privilege to minister side by side with them.

Men

One of the surprises that came this year was God calling us to further develop a men’s curriculum to compliment the women’s Awaken-Love study. With all that has happened this year, it has felt at times like a distraction, and yet I can’t seem to let it go. Melanie and I have spent time wrestling with ways to make the Men’s Edition most effective, accessible and act as a reinforcement to the women’s class. I am excited to team teach with my husband Jim in June as we continue to refine the curriculum. We are open to God’s calling and direction as we have no idea where we are going.

I asked Melanie to read last year’s post REMEMBER and she emailed me saying,

I read this last night and smiled a lot. It is amazing to know more of the details about the journey God has you on – and brought me to go on alongside you. I can’t wait to hear the stories at year 5 and 10 and 15! We have no idea what He has in store…which is a great thing because it exceeds anything we could plan!

And so we ask God for immeasurably more that we could plan or imagine…

If you want to help, we are still raising funds towards all the details that go with distributing the videos. Thank you for your support, for you encouragements and for your prayers.

by Ruth Buezis April 11, 2016

BREASTS – LIKE CLUSTERS OF GRAPES ON THE VINE

Song of Songs 7:8

May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine,

Sometimes I think my husband is more interested in my breasts than in any other part of my body. They capture his eyes and entice his hands and he is fascinated by them.

But breasts are tricky. What can feel great one day can feel painful the next. Breasts change dramatically with monthly hormonal cycles, pregnancy and nursing. During high estrogen cycles like ovulation, early pregnancy or menopause adjustments, the nipples can be painfully tender.

How you handle her breasts communicates a lot.

Do you respect her desires without pouting or getting defensive? Can you tell when her nipples are sensitive or even painful? Do you treat her with tenderness and care? Do you understand when her identity is stretched as a provider of sustenance to an infant? Do you adore a part of her body that in many ways defines her femininity? Do you devour her when she wants to be devoured?

Though every woman is different, I am going to stick my neck out and try to give you some clues on ways to approach and handle your wife’s breasts.

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by Ruth Buezis April 4, 2016

The Vagina – A ROUNDED GOBLET

Song of Song 7:2

²Your navel is a rounded goblet
that never lacks blended wine.

Did you know that the vagina has the same pH as red wine?

Are you awed that a vagina can stretch enough for a baby to pass thru and can also shrink to snugly hug a man’s penis?

A woman’s vagina is amazing but most men know very little about it.

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by Ruth Buezis March 28, 2016

The Vulva – DOWN TO THE GARDEN

What follows are step by step instructions on getting to know your wife’s vulva. The goal is not to bring her to orgasm but to learn what feels good.

Song of Songs 6:2-3

²My beloved has gone down to his garden,
to the beds of spice

Your Wife’s Insecurities –

Sharing her body with you is probably the most vulnerable thing your wife will do. She must feel safe and know that you will respect any wish that she has – without question or disappointment. She may not be comfortable letting you explore all of her, but to the extent that she does, your response will determine whether she gives you another try. Think about what attitude you would want your wife to have if she ever explored your penis. Verbally affirm her during and after the experience to let her know how much you loved it. Be amazed, awed, intrigued and blessed.

To approach your wife, simply tell her that you have been learning about the female body, and you would like to spend time getting to know her, because her body is the only one that matters. Tell her that you will be gentle, and she can tell you to stop or pause whenever she wants. Tell her you want her to tell you if anything is uncomfortable or what might feel better.

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by Ruth Buezis March 21, 2016

Getting to Know Your Wife’s Body

Your wife has an amazing body that is capable of endless possibilities but can seem overwhelming and nonsensical to understand. If you are not careful, you might miss many of the small nuances that make your wife’s body special. The next few weeks, I will attempt to demystify the female body. We will spend time talking about her anatomy, how it likes to be touched, and suggest some ways to get to know her.

First we go down to the garden – that hidden, mysterious valley than can seem oh so confusing. Certainly her body is not as defined and visibly obvious as your penis, but with focus you will learn some amazing things.

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by Ruth Buezis March 14, 2016

Sex Communicates Who We Are

I have this theory that the way we have sex , communicates who we are. The positions we use or the words we speak communicates something about us. The environment we create, or how we hold each other express who we are at that moment in time.

Say Something Through Sex

If sex is about getting to “know” each other, than what we do during sex needs to say something about us. Not just something about our overall character, like we are an introvert, a clean freak or dramatic. Sex ought to express what kind of day we had. Sex should show how we are feeling at that moment, or what we desperately need. If we used no words at all during sex, could our spouse tell –

if we had a good day or bad day?
whether we were feeling playful or sensuous?
if we were insecure or confident?

I think part of the reason sex can become boring is because we just go thru the motions. It is as if we are talking to our husband and we just keep saying the same sentence over and over, with the same tone of voice and with the same expression on our face. We already know what we are going to say and so does he.

Next Thursday we begin a series of articles about positions – intercourse positions, oral sex positions, manual sex positions, foreplay and whatever else we can think of. Our goal is not to just describe the physical placement or alignment of body parts but to tie the position to different emotions and expressions. Feel free to send us suggestions of what you want covered. We want to explore and stretch you in how to reveal yourself to your spouse. Some things are just too hard to put into words – or maybe words are just inadequate – but I think God gave us the gift of sex as a supernatural way to communicate. So let’s start communicating.

by Ruth Buezis March 3, 2016

We Want to Start a Revolution

We want the church – every man and woman that knows Jesus Christ as their Lord – to take back sex from the world.

We want men and women to realize the amazing power that sex has – power to destroy – but also power to make us into one.

We want men and women in the church to live as a community of believers that care about each other – even their sexuality.

We want men and women to begin a lifelong journey of growing in intimacy with their spouse that in turn brings them closer to God.

We want men and women to speak truth about God’s gift of sex – to each other, to their kids and to the lost.

We have seen God move through this blog and our speaking opportunities, however

His greatest impacts have been witnessed through the Awaken-Love classes where marriages have been transformed when women and men gain a true understanding of what God intends for their sex life.

This fall we want to make Awaken-Love classes available to every married woman by creating a six week interactive Awaken-Love video series and WE NEED YOUR HELP!

With the video series, women will simply invite friends into their living room to join them for an Awaken-Love study. They will learn God’s truth and design for sex. They will see God work in powerful ways as they experience healing from past baggage and freedom from lies. Women will share respectful, encouraging conversations and learn to talk about this amazing gift of sex within marriage. They will have a new understanding of intimacy with God and with their husband. God will change their marriage and it will be a testimony to the world.

This video study will use the same curriculum, homework, group discussions and supporting materials as our in-person classes, but the weekly teaching will come from the videos. The videos will be formatted to provide some teaching, then prompt the women to pause the video to discuss specific questions, followed by more teaching and more discussion. No teachers needed; the study will be led by one of the women in the group serving as the facilitator. We want it to feel like Melanie and I are sitting in your living room teaching.

We constantly hear about the need for more Awaken-Love classes and have been praying about how to meet the need for months. Then God plopped the answer right in our laps.

God has already provided opportunities for women to test the concept of video classes, an amazing videographer that desires to strengthen marriages and half of the cost for producing the video study through the generous support of my church.

BUT WE NEED YOUR HELP

We need to raise an additional $5,000.

The money raised will be used exclusively for costs associated with producing and distributing the video study. Any money that comes into the ministry is utilized to make Awaken-Love classes available to more women. Melanie, other teachers and I are all volunteers and do not receive any income from the ministry.

Melanie and I are filming this Awaken-Love women’s video series in early June. The video series will be available to small groups of women by the fall of this year.

Will you consider partnering with us to make Awaken-Love available to any married woman that desires to Claim God’s Powerful Gift?

We Want to Start a Revolution!

We invite you to join us by:

Praying for the Awaken-Love ministry.
Praying about hosting and/or facilitating a group of women using the Awaken-Love video study in the fall.
Donating funds toward the video production and distribution online or by mailing a check to Awaken-Love, P.O. Box 41624, Plymouth, MN 55441. We need to raise an additional $5,000 by the end of May. Donations are not tax deductible, but are greatly appreciated. Every little bit helps.

by Ruth Buezis February 29, 2016

WANT TO HAVE FUN – Week 1

In honor of a New Year… Getting ready for Valentines…Getting out of the doldrums of winter…Making new memories…

Sometimes you just want to have fun.

So for the next 6 Thursdays, we will suggest very specific and creative ways to let loose, have fun and make memories with your spouse. Whether newlyweds or married 50 years, if you have no kids, young kids, grown kids or teenagers, adding some enthusiasm and whimsy to your marriage benefits everyone!

Don’t just read about it, actually do it!

Some of the ideas will be for husbands and some will be for wives. You can easily adapt all of the ideas for the other. Weekly, we will make it clear who the post is for. If you want to be surprised, you can stop reading and forward the post to your spouse. Or you can just decide to treat your spouse for 6 weeks straight.

Have fun, connect, find refreshment and revel in each other. It is going to be a great year!

The Wives Plan Date Number 1 (more…)

by Ruth Buezis January 7, 2016

LIVE THE SONG – MINE TO GIVE

Song of Songs 8:10-12

She

¹⁰I am a wall,
    and my breasts are like towers.
Thus I have become in his eyes
    like one bringing contentment.
¹¹Solomon had a vineyard in Baal Hamon;
    he let out his vineyard to tenants.
Each was to bring for its fruit
    a thousand shekels of silver.
¹²But my own vineyard is mine to give;
    the thousand shekels are for you, Solomon,
    and two hundred are for those who tend its fruit.

But my own vineyard is mine to give.

The other night I was teaching Awaken Love MEN’S EDITION Week 3 which is all about how a woman’s body works. Midway thru the night, I asked the men, “Can you make your wife have an orgasm?”

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by Ruth Buezis December 24, 2015

Tag: christian sex class

How the Awaken-Love Class Opened My Eyes to Sex God’s Way

After Marriage

God’s Word

Like this:

4 Year Anniversary of Awaken-Love

Deep and Wide

Friends

Men

Like this:

BREASTS – LIKE CLUSTERS OF GRAPES ON THE VINE

How you handle her breasts communicates a lot.

Like this:

The Vagina – A ROUNDED GOBLET

Like this: