Conversations about sex and God rarely take place together. Somehow we have separated our creator from one of the most powerful experiences He made for us. Yet God has a lots to say about our sexuality and any hard topic that the world challenges us with. When I made my list about what I want to communicate to my kids about sex, many of the truths involved God. Don’t depend on your church to talk about sex or other hard topics with your kids. Include God in your conversations.
Hang Onto God’s Truths
Though many things feel confusing about sex, masturbation, porn and LGBTQ issues, we can hang onto clear biblical truths.
- God is good and His creation is good. He created our bodies, or eyes, our imaginations, and our sexuality and they are all good.
- God cares about us. Every part of us, even our sexuality. God forgives and He redeems us to make us new. God forgives even sexual sin and He can make us new. Crossing lines will not ruin us. God always give us second chances. Most of all, God cares about having a personal relationship with us because He loves us.
- God creates boundaries because He loves us. His boundaries are meant to protect us and for our good. He is not stingy or a kill joy. God is extravagant beyond measure. He want the best for us.
As you talk to your kids about sex, interject simple truths…
- God made your body, and it is amazing.
- Sex is a gift from God as a special way for husbands and wives to love each other.
- God gave you eyes to enjoy your future wife and to affirm her beauty
- Within marriage God gives freedom to fully enjoy each other
- Porn is a distortion of God’s gift of sex. But porn will never satisfy you because it is not real intimacy.
Don’t Just Give Simple Black and White Answers
Sometimes God does not give clear answers. For instance he says to love everyone, but he also say to speak truth. How we do that in day to day living is a challenge. Don’t make life seem simple or black and white. Your kids are growing up in a world where everything is being questioned right down to our identity. Help them wrestle and extend compassion when easy answers don’t exist.
Help Kids Discern
The bible gives no clear answers to some topics. Instead God invites us into relationship with Him to discern what is right for us.
The bible does not specifically address the topic of masturbation. We cannot say, “don’t ever do it”, or “do it as much as you want”. Either choice discounts God’s sovereignty. We must involve Him and ask, “What biblical principles impact my decision?”
Clearly we should not lust or let something control us. The bible also says don’t do something out of selfish ambition. We also understand that the character of God is to draw us into relationship. If masturbation causes us to hide, then it does not benefit us.
But maybe allowing a teenage boy to masturbate before he leaves for church camp allows him to relax and not worry about wet dreams.
Clearly deciding about choices like masturbation require communication, and discernment with God. Let’s equip our kids to involve God in their decisions.
Final Thoughts
Most of us did not grow up talking about sex with our parents, or at church. Beyond messages of “Don’t do it” before marriage, we heard very little about sex. With culture screaming lies at us about sex, we must start talking.
The mission of Awaken-Love is to equip and encourage men and women to claim God’s design for intimacy and to share that truth with others.
Taking an Awaken Love class will help you learn to talk about sex with ease, and to include God in those conversations. Even if a local class is not offered in your area, you can invite a group of friends to join you for a video class – available for both husbands and wives. Don’t wait. Open up the conversation of sex today.
The Author
