WANT TO HAVE FUN – Week 6
Tapping into our own creativity is really just another way to let our spouse know us. This week, the men get to plan the fun.
Ruth Buezis
That Intimate?
I know this is kind of a stretch, but I am going to go there…
Five years ago when I studied Song of Songs as an allegory of God’s love for me, I kept thinking, “So when I am most intimate with my husband, that is what God wants with me? “ In other words, “So, when I have an orgasm – that point in time when the rest of the world ceases to exist, when I stop worrying about what I look like, or what I sound like, when I see my husband more clearly than my eyes are capable of seeing, that is what God wants with me?”
WANT TO HAVE FUN – Week 5
Sometimes planning for the date is as much fun as the date itself. This week ladies, you get the pleasure of planning…
Comfort SEX
I never thought that I would reach for my husband when I felt sad, stressed or overwhelmed. Things have drastically changed. Finding comfort through sex has been one of the most surprising results of figuring out this thing called SEX.
In Awaken-Love classes we talk about all the reasons that God created sex. The book Intimate Issues shares that one of the reasons is for comfort. After David and Bathsheba lost their child in 2 Samuel 12:24 it says, “Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and lay with her.”
In class, I often ask if any of the women can relate to sex as a comfort. Often I hear about women comforting a husband because of a bad day at work, a job loss, or even a death in the family. We tend to think about sex being a comfort for men. Remember, this was David comforting Bathsheba, not Bathsheba comforting David. God intended sex to comfort wives, too.
WANT TO HAVE FUN – Week 4
Sometimes creativity takes a little planning and thought. There are tons of ideas out there to get started, but what really takes it to the next level is making it very personal for just the two of you. You have to know each other by studying and paying attention to even the little details. You have to chew on it for a while before you know what your spouse would love.
Date number 4 is for husbands to plan.
Long Distance Connection
I used to hate when my husband traveled for work. My normal stance was to make sure the house was kept in order, the kids were taken care of and to treat my husband as if I was the ice queen. Phone conversations were limited to mundane details and I created a giant protective wall that would take days for my husband to gently disassemble when he got home.
I have since learned that times of physical separation can be an opportunity for fun and growth in expressing intimacy other ways besides skin to skin, sex in the same bed. It forces us to sharpen our other senses beside touch – things like smell, sight, and sound. It stretches us in using our words to connect – emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. We can heighten anticipation to create passionate reunions that are hot and spicy, or we can use technology to communicate and enjoy each other in a whole new way. So whether you are separated for a week or months, hang on tight as I share some ideas to
CONNECT – LONG DISTANCE
WANT TO HAVE FUN – Week 3
I think that women have this idea that we are supposed to be the ones that are romanced and that our husbands don’t really care about that stuff. I looked up the definition of romance…
Romance -a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.
I think that it is time for women to step up in making marriage romantic – exciting and mysterious.
Date Number 3 is for wives to plan.
Tips for conversations with your kids about sex
Every kid is different, every family is different, every experience is different and I do not don’t have all the answers, but below are 10 tips for conversations with your kids about SEX.
If you did not read Mondays post – Conversations with your kids – please read it now.
Affirm
Start every conversation by affirming them. You could affirm a young child for his natural curiosity. An older child might be affirmed for his honesty in sharing his struggles. Kids even need to be affirmed that God made them sexual beings and that it is a good thing, even when it seems challenging to live in God’s boundaries.
Conversations with your kids about sex
One of the questions I ask when I teach Awaken-Love is “How did you first learn about sex? Not just how babies are made, but sex?”
Some of the more common answers I hear are:
- On the bus
- From friends
- From romance movies, books or magazines
- My mom handed me a book
- My parents sat me down for an awkward talk
But every once in a while – a woman shares that even though she doesn’t remember a specific talk, she knew that her parents thoroughly enjoyed sex and it was a great part of their marriage. Conversation about bodies and sex were open. Nothing felt embarrassing, dirty, or secretive. There was no talk, just conversation.
These same women were confident enough to remain pure, even though many of them dated their future husband for years. And these same women, easily transitioned to figuring out sex and thoroughly enjoying it within marriage.
Talking to our kids about sex is important . But more importantly we must figure out sex for ourselves. We cannot talk to our kids about how awesome sex is within marriage, if it is not awesome for us.
WANT TO HAVE FUN – Week 2
I have had a lot of great sex in 28 years of marriage but the memories that stick in my head are the times when my husband planned something special. He did not have to spend a lot of money or time – sometimes it was as simple as him starting a fire and spreading a blanket on the floor. But I knew my husband was thinking of me.
Men, step up and make some memories with your wife. This weeks date is about as simple as it gets…
Date number 2 is for husbands to plan.
