Feather touches awaken our senses and cause every fiber of our body to stand on high alert waiting in anticipation. They are the softest of touches that whisper to us and ask for more. The gentle graze of fingers rustling the hair on an arm. The slow drawl of nails drawn across a palm. The whisper of the breeze through the hair. Feather touches contrast the stillness of solitude with luxurious connection that yearns for more.
I am going to be perfectly frank with you, my husband has never struggled with pornography and I have never experienced the pain of betrayal. But because I teach Awaken-Love, I have walked beside a lot of women that have. It breaks my heart to see the pain that pornography causes for these women, but it also breaks my heart to see how pornography has impacted their husband.
God keeps calling me to speak into this arena, I don’t know why. Maybe it is because I haven’t been personally impacted and so I have a different perspective. Is it possible that what might be most helpful for a wife to do to help her husband battle pornography is the exact opposite of what every fiber in her body is telling her to do? Read more about How to Create a Safe Place for Your Husband to Share about Porn.
I know this is a crazy idea, but in marriage I think we are supposed to battle pornography together.What we have been doing does not work – men shuffling off to their secret accountability group. Pornography impacts the marriage, whether both spouses know about it or not. When we get married, we vow, “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.” If my husband is battling something, then I want to battle with him. I want to hold him up, encourage him, speak truth to him, and be there even when he slides backward. The idea that a husband protects his wife by not telling her the truth is a lie. A strong husband has the courage to share everything with his wife – even his brokenness – and he has the courage to help both of them go after their own healing and wholeness.
Read More »Create a safe place for your husband to share about Porn
I can’t stop thinking about the Keep Your Love On conference that I recently attended. Danny Silk talked about how to stay in relationship – whether with your spouse, your child, your friends or even your coworkers. The concepts we learned were both simple and yet profound and I can’t wait to read the book. Here are a few of Danny Silk’s concepts….
God created our bodies with amazing capabilities to taste, see, feel, hear and smell – and yet many of us miss out. Life is so busy, so garbled up, that instead of experiencing more, we experience less. Life is a blur and our senses become numb. We just move from place to place, keeping pace and yet missing out on so much.
Sometimes it takes intentional choices to create enough time and space to truly connect with God. I need to settle in, take a few deep breaths, release my thoughts and just be for a moment. If I want to encounter God, then I need to be still and listen for His voice. When I am out hiking, I ask God, “let me feel you”, or “let me see you”, and sometimes His answers blow me away. It takes time, it takes intentionality and it takes stretching your senses.
Men can have multiple orgasms.
WHAT???
MEN can learn to have more than one orgasm.
They can learn how to have an orgasm without an ejaculation. The orgasm will feel different without the ejaculation, but it will still feel awesome. The man will maintain his erection and then can go on to have another orgasm with an ejaculation.
Working to help a husband experience male multiple orgasm is a great way to learn all kinds of things about his body.
Giving or receiving a sensuous massage can be more vulnerable and intimate then having intercourse. To unveil yourself and relax into the touch of a spouse requires immense sureness and trust. Sensuous massage has been used for years by sex therapists as a launch pad for growth. It removes the intricacies and mechanics of sex and simply focuses on being present and experiencing what you feel. If you want to relaunch or refocus your sex life, sensuous massage is a great place to start.Read More »Sensuous Massage
We have made it through another long winter in Minnesota and Spring is in the air. God created the seasons as visible evidence that time passes – the old has gone, the new has come. Seasons are God’s reminder that he is not stagnant. He blesses us with fresh starts, shows us His abundant creation and calls us to something new. The change of seasons is also God’s call to newness in our sex life.
Five years ago, I’m not sure I imagined that I would still be teaching Awaken-Love and that it would have impacted over 700 women. Serving God through Awaken-Love has been an honor and privilege. I cannot imagine doing anything else. If you want to read more about how I got here then read Remember, and 4 Year Anniversary
Every time I start a class, women anxiously sit down wondering what “sex class” is going to be like. I immediately make two things very clear…
Recently a woman shared that after the first night, she almost emailed saying, “this class wasn’t for her”, but she decided to stick it out. She had been a virgin bride that followed all the rules. But deep down felt sex was dirty and for her husband. On her wedding night, sex was less than magical. She
sarcastically thought to herself, “So I get a lifetime of this?” She and her husband gradually had less and less sex as resentment built and conflict grew. After a few weeks of class, she opened up about what God was teaching her and her plans to talk with her husband, “I have some repenting to do. I want to start working on our sex life to make it what God wants for us.” At the end of 6-weeks she said, “Not only are we having more sex and better sex, but it has impacted other areas of our life. We are doing all kinds of things together.”
A woman shared that when she married her husband, she did not think she could EVER say no to sex. For over 20 years, every single time he initiated, she went along with it. Her young husband had a strong drive and they often had sex once a day, or even twice a day. The first ten years of marriage, things were ok. They were young, had energy and were not too sleep deprived from raising kids. But as the pattern continued through the years, resentment began to build.
Every single time her husband initiated, she obliged. No matter how exhausted she was, she did not turn him down. Ten years later sex had become a dirty word and a huge point of conflict as her resentment built to anxiety. She read any physical touch from her husband as a prelude to intercourse and began avoiding all touch for fear of leading him on. The couple eventually ended up in counseling and are in the process of rebuilding their marriage and their sex life.
After years of buying into the same old messages about sex, Ruth went searching for God’s truth and discovered something radically different. By sharing her own journey to sexual freedom and the stories of the women she’s taught, you will come away with a new mindset about sex and a deep-seated belief that God designed each of us unique, special – and created for delights.
Copyright © Ruth Buezis, Awaken-Love and Christian Sex Class, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s authors and/or owners is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Awaken-Love with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
