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Ruth Buezis

Creating Community at Awaken-Love

When I first found Christian sex blogs, I quickly realized that I learned as much from reading the comments as from the articles. The information authentically shared by individuals gave me a window into the struggles and triumphs of men and women just like me and my husband. But this window didn’t just inform me, it spurred me on towards growth. As I heard the testimonies of others I began to believe that God could change me too. Community creates growth, whether in person during an Awaken-Love class or anonymously on the Awaken-Love blog.

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The Beauty of Our Vulva

God created women with amazing bodies. Our vaginas stretch large enough to birth a baby and still shrink to hug our husband’s penis. Breasts nurse our babies, provide hours of entertainment for our husband, and are sensitive enough to trigger an orgasm. Our clitoris created solely for our pleasure can provide a lifetime of new and pleasurable experiences. And yet, how many of us really know our vulva? Song of Songs 4:7 says, 

You are altogether beautiful, my darling;
    there is no flaw in you.

Early Messages

Girls and boys have completely different experiences discovering their bodies. When boys learn to go to the bathroom they form a very hands on relationship with their penis. A part of everyday life, their penis can quickly become a best friend. They know what it looks like, what it feels like, how it changes with temperature and what creates pleasure. Their penis, just a familiar part of their body doesn’t feel dirty or scary.

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Beyond Purity – Living with Sexual Integrity

Our world has drastically changed in the last 30 years. The internet provides endless knowledge, opinions and images – both positive and negative. Definitions for marriage and sexuality continue to morph as culture changes. We live in a fast-paced world constantly bombarded with sexual messages. And most churches have failed to respond to the challenges and real questions that people face.  Rather than focusing on sexual purity we need to strive to equip people to live with sexual integrity, no matter our age or marital status. God creates us as sexual beings from the day we were born until the day we die. Rather than a sprint for purity that we win or lose, we must strive to live with sexual integrity every day of our life.

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Creative Beyond Our Wildest Imagination

I often hear from women, “I have no idea what it would mean to be creative during sex”. And it saddens me because God made us in his image – creative beyond our wildest imagination. Think about the variety even when he created bugs. From cute polka dot lady bugs, to skinny praying mantis’ to rainbow colored harlequin bugs. God kind of went wild when it came to creation, and we have the same capacity.

The other night I had this crazy dream. My husband and I were driving in a convertible and I started noticing the street lamps. Each one was unique and made up of huge recycled machinery parts. All of a sudden everything changed, as if we went from regular life to a theme park. Elaborate structures and details filled my mind as our car suddenly became part of an amusement park ride.

When I woke up, I thought,” Whoa, what was that?” So much creativity, who comes up with that stuff?

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Twinkle Lights – Shifting the Atmosphere

The other day my husband and I were out on a date with another couple lamenting about the dreary winter weather. My friend said, “I really just need some twinkle lights to cheer me up.” What she probably said in jest, was actually an opportunity for her husband.

I tried to help him out, by jumping in, “Yes, twinkle lights for sure! That would help!” “Seriously you definitely need twinkle lights.” Wink, wink.

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The Importance of Dreaming

This weekend I met a young mom at a craft fair selling beautiful pottery and we struck up a conversation. I shared that I also used to create things during naptime to help keep my sanity as a young mom. When I admitted that I don’t get down to the woodshop much anymore, she asked, “So what do you do now?”

Without missing a beat, my oldest daughter replied, “She’s writing a book.”

“What about?”, she asked.

In a split moment I had to discern, am I supposed to tell her what I really do?

“The book is going to be about sex. I actually teach sex classes to Christian Wives”, I quietly offered.

“That’s awesome!”, she said, “It is so needed! I would totally be interested in something like that. I’ve got to introduce you to my husband!”

As she enthusiastically shared with her husband what I do, I heard him quietly say, “I thought we were doing okay.”

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Trust – An Essential Ingredient to Great Sex

Trust seems like such a basic  ingredient for a great sex life and yet I am just starting to understand the depth of importance. Though basic trust in a marriage feels very similar for men and women, the challenges men and women face during sex vary drastically. The first step to create trust is an awareness and empathy for each other’s struggles. I want to share some specific ways that wives and husbands needs vary in regards to trust.

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My Prayer for the Upcoming Year

God spoke to me this week through Psalm 95:8  

The Lord says, “Don’t harden your hearts as Israel did at Meribah, as they did at Massah in the wilderness.”

God made it very plain to me that my heart has become hard – cynical, calloused and missing out on His wonder. It has been a long hard year and I feel like I am finally starting to feel the winds of change. I don’t know if you can relate to this or not, but I am ready for God to do a work. So if you want, join me in asking…

 

Oh God, soften my heart.

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