It always feels awkward to start writing after being absent for so long.
I could blame it all on Covid, but honestly, I was about at the breaking point anyway. I needed to just breath a bit – to have the freedom to struggle in my own marriage and sex life without feeling like I needed to write about it, or glean some deep understanding to share. Truthfully, I am just like you. A broken person that sometimes struggles with sex and marriage: that becomes self-righteous, critical, demanding, and darn right nasty.
This Spring I really scared myself. I got so angry at my husband that I suddenly didn’t know who I was. With tears streaming down my face I remember thinking afterward, “that is not who I am, and not who I want to be!” How in the world did I get here?
You don’t need to know the details. What you need to know is that I am reaching out for help. Because what boiled out of me in those moments of anger was not just about my husband. I have wounds deep in my soul that need healing and I will not miss this opportunity. So I am diving into some really hard work and I have no doubt that God is going to meet me in the middle of my mess.
Awaken Love Ministry
As far as Awaken Love, I have been wrestling with what God wants. Marriage ministry can feel overwhelming. Sometimes I feel completely inadequate, other times I feel so sure of God’s calling in my life. Keeping my heart soft to hear peoples hard stories while not carrying their burden requires constant surrender to God. Though I know that Awaken Love is important ministry, I cannot and will not continue without God’s blessing and protection.
A couple of months ago, I wasn’t sure I would ever write about sex again, and now here I am. Though I won’t make any promises about how often I will blog, or what I will write about, it does feel good to put my thoughts… my feelings…. my life… to pen.
What God gives me and breathes into me, I share with you. And so even though it feels a little terrifying, here I am again.
Now for Some Exciting Awaken Love News!
I am so excited to be part of the AMAZING line up of Christian Speakers, Authors, and Pastors for the ONLINE conference Married Sex.
Check out some of the topics you’ll hear covered at the conference:
- How to Prioritize Sex in Busy Seasons — Levi and Jennie Lusko
- How to WOW Your Spouse: Sexual techniques, tips, and tricks — Ruth Buezis
- Awesome Sex For a Lifetime! — Dr. Kim Kimberling
- Dealing with a High Drive vs. Low Drive Spouse — Dr. Corey Allan
- How Porn Impacts Marriage — Dave & Ashley Willis
- A Great Sex Life in the Stage of Raising Young Kids! — Cait & Cole Zick
- How Your Past Bagagge Impacts Your Sex Life, and How to Break Free- Lisa & John Bevere
- Why God Says Sex is Good – Christine Caine
- The Five Senses of Sex – Gary Thomas
- Your Sex Problem Might Be a Relationship Problem IF… – Debra Fileta
- AND SO MUCH MORE