A Window into Intimacy

 Intimacy is always about our relationship with God – it is a mirror

When I started really wrestling with what God wants for me and my marriage bed, this verse rocked my world.

Ephesians 5:31-32 –For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Becoming One in marriage is a picture of intimacy with Christ.

Intimacy in Marriage

This verse gave me a frame work to start measuring what I believed about sex. I began comparing all of my ideas about sex, against my relationship with God, and it turned a lot of things up side down. I soon realized, just because something is our natural tendency, doesn’t mean that’s how God wants things to stay. He wants us to stretch and grow and that takes trusting him. I’ve written a bunch or articles based on this concept in the Mirror of Intimacy Category but a couple of ideas that immediately come to mind are…

God care more about our heart, then us just going thru the motions.

God does not want us to just read our bible or pray in order to check it off our list. He wants us to show up and spend time with Him. In the same way,  sex is not about just going thru the motions or performing our duty. Our spouse wants our heart. Our spouse wants us to share ourselves.

God never said we need to have our lives put together before we come to him.

God want us to come weary and brokenhearted. God wants us to come in all of our mess and He will give us living water. In the same way, sex is not just supposed to happen when we have our life put together. We are supposed to come to each other when we are weary and brokenhearted. Sex is supposed comfort us and refresh us.

These are just a couple of example of what I have learned about sex, but I have also learned about my relationship with God.

Intimacy with God

Creating intimacy with my husband has helped me learn just how intimate God wants to be with me.

God’s Love

The open arms of my husband have helped me understand God’s love. He accepts me as I am and creates a safe place for me to be me. He holds me when I am broken and scared. His strong arms pull me toward him even when I am pouting or retreating. Sitting in my husband’s arms settles me when the world feels overwhelming. The best of my husband helps me to know God.


Learning to let go during orgasm has helped me understand what it means to truly enter into worship with God. During orgasm, I have to stop thinking about myself, how I look or sound, or what I ought to do next. I have to just be. I have to stop trying to control things, or make things happen. I have to just surrender to what God has for me. In the same way, during worship God calls me to simply meet with Him face to face. He doesn’t want me to come with a plan or an agenda. He doesn’t want me worrying about how I look or sound. God wants all of me, surrendered to Him.

Understanding the relationship that God wants to have with me, has helped me understand what sex ought to be like.

Intimately connecting with my husband during sex has helped me understand just how intimate God wants to be with me.

Comments 2

  1. Fabulous post, Ruth. I totally agree that there are so many wonderful dimensions of our relationship with Christ that inform us about how to do marriage – even including in the bedroom!

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