God desires freedom in our marriage bed, but we must deal with the lies, baggage and body image issues that steal our joy. We have to take a hard look at ourselves and question why our ideas of sex don’t line up with God’s design. What lies have we believed? What past experiences still impact our marriage bed? How has culture or others impacted how I view myself?
The world throws constantly throws lies at us about sex. Media portrays sex outside of marriage as a whirlwind of passion that magically falls in place. Sex in marriage either doesn’t happen or looks like drudgery. Men seem ready for sex at the drop of a hat while women fall under the heading of slut or prude. The constant message of “don’t do it” from the church combined with silence cultivates sex as a “dirty little secret.” Lies impact what we believe and how we act. We must name the lies and identify how they have impacted us to gain freedom.
Every woman I’ve taught has had some kind of baggage that impacted her marriage. Promiscuity, purity messages, unwanted touches, divorced parents, spouse’s porn struggles, – small things or big things – can have profound impacts. God can heal us and He can change us. Have the courage to remember it, bring it to the light, pray over it and step into what He has for you. He wants you to be free.
We spend way too much time on comparisons. We are supposed to get our worth from God and He says, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Our husband’s pure eyes glued to us as we undress are supposed to thrill us not makes us feel used. Do you believe your husband when he tells you how beautiful you are or would you rather believe the world? God wants you to have the freedom to dance for your husband, and to play and let your husband explore you fully. What is holding you back?
I think that our marriage beds are supposed to be this little taste of the Garden of Eden where we stop worrying about what we sound like, or what we look like. It is just us and our spouse – face to face – completely naked and unashamed, fully enjoying each other.