Tapping into the Senses for Better Sex

God created our bodies with amazing capabilities to taste, see, feel, hear and smell – and yet many of us miss out. Life is so busy, so garbled up, that instead of experiencing more, we experience less. Life is a blur and our senses become numb. We just move from place to place, keeping pace and yet missing out on so much.

Sometimes it takes intentional choices to create enough time and space to truly connect with God. I need to settle in, take a few deep breaths, release my thoughts and just be for a moment. If I want to encounter God, then I need to be still and listen for His voice. When I am out hiking, I ask God, “let me feel you”, or “let me see you”, and sometimes His answers blow me away. It takes time, it takes intentionality and it takes stretching your senses.

Honestly, there is probably a lot more to experience than we even realize. I have a friend who is legally blind. She hears much better than I do, and can smell things a mile away.  The loss of sight has resulted in the strengthening of other senses. Is it possible we are missing out on life because we just settle into what comes easily?


In class, we do this crazy experiment where I hand out a piece of Dove Dark Chocolate and we practice experiencing the sense of taste. We close our eyes and sit quietly as we focus on tasting the chocolate. I instruct the women, I want you to just spend some time “getting to know” your chocolate.

As the chocolate slowly melts in our mouth, we turn it over and over with our tongue to taste and feel the silky-smooth chocolate.

Afterwards I hear things like,

“ I felt like I tasted it so much more than when I just chomp it down.”

“ I had to keep reminding myself to focus on the chocolate because my mind would wander.”

“that was the best part of my day.”

“ I really felt the texture and the silkiness”, or

“ I could hardly wait for it to be over”, Because it is so hard to sit still and relax.

So, how does of this relate to sex?

Actually, this experiment tells us a lot about ourselves and about sex. You have to use your senses to know each other during sex. Are you tasting the chocolate or are you just chomping it down? Are you getting to know each other during sex or are you just getting it done? When your mind wanders, are you gently bringing it back to focus? Are you stretching to experience more, or do you already know what happens? Can you sit still and just enjoy?

Experiencing God is not a check list or a thing to do. I cannot wave a magic wand or command it to happen. I invite, I seek, I ask, I watch and sometimes I just expectantly wait. Can I hear Him? Can I see Him? Can I even smell Him? I experience God different ways and I stretch to experience more of Him because my greatest desire is to know Him more.

Sex is not just getting from point A to B, it is the journey of getting to know each other.  You have to create time and space, release your thoughts and breath.  Are you present during sex? What do you taste? What do you hear? What do you feel? Do you need to remove a sense to learn something new? Tap into your senses to draw yourself back to being present during sex.


Join the Conversation by Leaving a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.