Woman on Top

Woman on top is one of the most pleasure inducing positions for women and it is not all that different from riding a horse. While on vacation one of the high lights was riding Icelandic horses and it got me thinking about the similarities between riding horses and riding our husbands.

Before getting on your horse, you need to spend time getting to know him. You stroke his neck, speak his name and let him smell you. He learns who you are and your calmness settles him. Having sex is about connection and getting to know our husband. We have to begin with settling ourselves so that our husbands can relax. When we stop worrying and start being, we can feel our husband, smell him and see him. Do you know when you are connected to your husband or are you too busy thinking about the next thing you need to do or worrying about how you look?


Your horse will be much more responsive when you ride him with confidence. In order to ride your husband you need to have the confidence that he will enjoy it as much as you do. Being on top is probably one of the most exposed positions and it is a view that your husband will thoroughly enjoy. Do you really believe that your husband absolutely loves your body and can you share it with him completely? Do you have the confidence that your husband’s biggest thrill is when you are thrilled? Can you believe it is good to go after what you enjoy? Do you believe that women are supposed to really, I mean REALLY, enjoy sex? Do you believe in yourself and who God made you to be?

Get Comfortable

When you climb up into the saddle of a horse, you spend time centering and adjusting for a comfortable ride. When you first straddle your husband spend some time transitioning to the position of being on top. Let him feel your outer lips on his body or shaft. Drag your nipples on his chest. Let the head of his penis feel your opening and your dampness. Rub his shaft all the way up and down your clitoral shaft. Let him barely enter your vagina and hold him at the entrance. Move slowly onto his penis and hold him fully immersed while your vagina wakes up. Let your clitoris find his body.

Points of Connection

Riding a horse is dependent on multiple points of connection – you sit in the saddle with legs wrapped around, your hands firmly grip the loose reins, and your tongue clicks to gesture your desires. There needs to be multiple points of connection when you are riding your husband. It is not just about the contact between his penis and your vagina as you move. It is about how you hold him with your arms, legs or eyes, and how you talk to him. Arms may need to hang onto him, or push against his chest. Feet may need to wrap around him and squeeze his buns. Eyes may need to stay fixed on his eyes, watch what is happening or get lost in the pleasure. Lips may need to suck on his lips, rest against him or cry out. Are you connecting multiple ways?

Set a Pace

When you are in the saddle, you can control whether your horse walks, trots or gallops and how fast he moves. If the horse moves like you want, your body becomes in sync with him and you move as one. When we are riding our husbands we have the pleasure of setting the pace but the goal is to move together – we don’t fight each other. It can be challenging at first for a husband to tune into your movements and move with you, but when he does, whoa.

Don’t be afraid to set a pace that works for you and to trust your husband to learn to follow. Sometimes you may desire stillness so you can really settle into feeling each other. Other times you may desire a metronome precision that dares each other to stay exactly in sync. Sometimes you may desire a rocking or grinding of bodies together. Once in a while you may want to get caught up in a whirlwind of pounding passion. It is all good, but it should simply flow out of an expression of who you are and your connection.


When you ride a horse, how you lean in the saddle can make a world of difference. If you are at a full gallop, you are leaning forward into the wind, anticipating each stride with your horse. When you are slowing down, you are upright in your saddle standing in your stirrups. The angle that you tip your hips and body, can make all the difference when you are riding your husband. If you want to enjoy clitoral stimulation and feel his body against your sweet spot, tip your hips forward and lean into him. When you want to enjoy g-spot stimulation, ride high or with your body upright and your back arched. If you want to enjoy deep spot stimulation then thrust deep and hard from an upright position. Play around to find the angles and spots that feel best.

Woman on top is not just about more pleasure or taking control. It is about having the confidence to find what you like, go after it, and have your husband come with you. It is a position of vulnerability for women as we dare to express our sexuality to our husbands. There is no greater joy than for a husband to go on a ride with you.

We are enjoying the holidays so please enjoy a re-post from Sept 2015.

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