Living in the Tension

There is nothing easy about living in the tension

This place that is neither black nor white. It requires us to discern and not just follow rules. We have to talk about things, wrestle with God and we have to be ready to change when God calls us to something different. Living in the tension is hard but it also helps us understand who God is.

God is able to extend mercy and grace but He is also just and righteous.

God loves us by accepting us as we are but He also speaks truth to us about who He created us to become.

He calls us to serve but He also calls us to receive.

God tells us that it is not what we do that earns favor with Him but it is out of an abundant love for Him that we do what He calls us to.

It would be much easier if God just gave us a set of rules to follow, but He doesn’t. He is much more interested in our heart and our motivation then following the rules. He wants us to have a relationship with Him and a heart that has a pulse on who He is.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

God call us to trust and to discern what He wants for us.

If we took on all the burdens of the world and tried to meet all the needs, we would be totally be overwhelmed and give up. But God does not want us to just ignore the needs of the world and grow cold to broken people. We must discern what He calls us to and dive into our part to make a difference. He calls us to let go of our own agenda  – to be interruptible – to step into the doors that He has opened. When we do, He is with us, He does the heavy lifting – and it blesses us because we are in communion with Him.

I think God also calls us to live in tension in our sexuality. It would be easier if everything was just black and white – all masturbation is wrong – or – masturbate as much as you want. But He doesn’t do that.

It would be easier if He told us – you should never use a toy – or – use a toy as much as you want. But He doesn’t do that. He asks us to live in this place where we are in community with Him. Together – husband, wife and God –  we decide what is right for our marriage bed. It is how we are supposed to live – hanging on His every word. Asking about our everyday life. Including Him and always having a pulse on what He wants for us and how much more there is.

I believe God speaks to us. If you ask Him, He will give you an answer. In your heart of hearts you will know. And so it is not about the rules or the do’s or don’ts, it is about living in alignment with God.

Gray Areas

Over the next few weeks we are going to tackle some of the gray areas that God gives us in our sexuality. Things that come to mind are masturbation, and toys. The goal is not to tell you what is right or wrong. The goal is to share some examples where they might create intimacy in your marriage or where they might create division. Even more important to think about is, does it create intimacy with God or does it create division with God? Does it drive me into secrecy or does it drive me towards relationship? We will ask you to share examples of your own discernment as you, your spouse and God decided what was good and right for your marriage bed. So if there is a gray area that you would like addressed, send it our way and lets have a discussion.


Comments 8

  1. We use toys and I masturbate when necessary to relieve tension, both with my wife and without her. But, because we are on a schedule for sex, everything seems to be going good. Our relationship with each other is improving daily and our with God is improving daily.

  2. God loves us by accepting us as we are but He also speaks truth to us about who He created us to become.
    WOW! That is powerful and beautiful!

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