clusters of grapesSong of Songs 7:8

May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine,

Sometimes I think my husband is more interested in my breasts than in any other part of my body. They capture his eyes and entice his hands and he is fascinated by them.

But breasts are tricky. What can feel great one day can feel painful the next. Breasts change dramatically with monthly hormonal cycles, pregnancy and nursing. During high estrogen cycles like ovulation, early pregnancy or menopause adjustments, the nipples can be painfully tender.

How you handle her breasts communicates a lot.

Do you respect her desires without pouting or getting defensive? Can you tell when her nipples are sensitive or even painful? Do you treat her with tenderness and care?  Do you understand when her identity is stretched as a provider of sustenance to an infant? Do you adore a part of her body that in many ways defines her femininity? Do you devour her when she wants to be devoured?

Though every woman is different, I am going to stick my neck out and try to give you some clues on ways to approach and handle your wife’s breasts.


Breasts come in all shapes and sizes . Most women have different sized breasts, with the left side commonly being larger. The color and size of the areolas vary tremendously and so do the nipples. Your wife’s breasts are unique to her and to her alone and you need to fall in love with them and them alone. Guys, keep your eyes pure!


One of the safest and most enjoyable parts of your wife’s breast is where it begins. Where her chest stops being chest, and starts being breast – especially from the underside to the outer edge under her arm. Light feathery touches that trace her lines as you are mesmerized by her can be a sweet, sweet beginning. Think relaxed finger tips that leisurely graze the goose bumps of her skin. Lounge here for a while and just enjoy her. Let the rest of her body wake up and begin to yearn for more.


Just like the rest of your wife’s body, her breasts like to be teased. You can do this by working lighter to firmer and outer to inner. Before you even think about touching her nipple, make sure that it is aching to be touched. There are multiple ways to accomplish this. You can circle around it. You can inadvertently brush across the nipple as your hand passes by. You can gently cup her breast in your hand in stillness while letting her nipple grow against your palm. You can take advantage of feeling her gently thru thin silky fabrics and letting the less intense touch entice her. Pay attention and gauge your wife’s response – is she enjoying it or is she tensing up?


Don’t limit where you go by some preconceived idea of how things are done. Once you zone in on the breasts, don’t be afraid to leave them for a while and then return to them later. Enjoy touching and connecting with all of her body. Don’t always start there. Sometimes if her breasts are sensitive you will need to warm up other parts of her body first – even her garden. It is not always first base, second base, third base, home run. It’s like that scene in Friends when Monica describes the 7 erogenous zones and the interplay between them. Have fun, explore, retreat, explore some more, skirt around, accelerate and finally take her somewhere.


Nipples are the most sensitive part of the breast – especially the tip. At certain times of the month, if her nipples are especially pronounced, they may even be painful to the touch. Rather than stimulating the tip of the nipple a better approach is to stimulate the sides of the nipple. You can gently grasp the sides of the nipple with your thumb and middle finger and slowly roll it back and forth. You can also gently stroke up the sides of the nipple with your fingertips, as if petting behind the ear of a purring cat. For a different sensation, add some coconut oil to the breasts and nipples and firmly slide around the nipples or milk them. If you are going to touch the tip of the nipple, make sure she is highly aroused and hold the sides of the nipple while you gently stroke the tip.


Your mouth is another great way to stimulate your wife’s breast, especially if you have rough hands. Many of the same concepts apply as far as teasing and warming her up. Also be careful about the whole concept of sucking. Too much suction can seem unbearable especially if she is on her back and you are trying to pull her breast into your mouth. Have her lay on her side or straddle you so that her breast can fall into your mouth.  Take more of her breast into your mouth and use your tongue to run up the sides of her nipple or around them.


Sometimes a wife feels insecure or just wants to feel the power and steadiness of your strength. At these times, it is so important to maintain a connection to her. Do not take your hands off of her, but glide them from one area of her body to another. Hold her at every point of connection. Rather than tickling, flicking or feathering of her breasts, think slow massaging, milking and holding. You want to feel her to her core and lovingly steady her as she opens herself up to you.


The breasts can also be used as a powerful way to take her over the edge at orgasm. My husband likes to call it “the push to pass.” In auto racing, when you are close to passing someone, you can engage an engine booster to catapult you around the car in front. You only engage it for a limited time and just at the right time. If you lay off your wife’s breasts as she gets closer to orgasm, you can bring her tantalizing close and when she is right there, give her the boost she needs by stimulating her breasts.


Sometimes it seems like God should have created husbands with more than two hands. There are so many wonderful places to touch on a wife and if he could only touch all of them at once. Anyway, sometimes a husband spanning his hand to touch both breasts at once can create a new sensation that can be delightful especially during intercourse.

Your wife’s breasts are one of the most sensitive areas of her body. With that incredible sensitivity and responsiveness comes walking the tight rope of “amazing” to “ouch.” You have to learn to play your wife’s breasts like you would the most excellent Stradivarius violin. Ultimately, your wife wants you to cherish and love her breasts. She wants you to learn to touch them in all different ways depending on who she is that night. Learn to tease them and entice them to come out and play, learn to hold them and pull her forth thru them, learn to tap into the power that they hold. Be amazed at God’s creation in your wife.

We are currently raising funds to make Awaken-Love women’s classes available on video. To learn more go to We Want to Start a Revolution.

Ruth Buezis

Comments 8

  1. Very good information here in this post. I now understand more about my wife’s breast…I am always try to be very careful with the breast and especially the nipples when i am playing with them during our love making… Like you said in the post my wife likes her breast and nipples to be licked and sucked on during our love making because it helps her to reach orgasm and makes them stronger…….AND I LOVE DOING THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. What do you do when your wife really, really does not like her breasts being touched and I am very careful about it?

    • mm

      Let me help you understand a little bit about women. We have been judged by our breasts from the time we were girls. If we developed large breasts, we were ogled, and stripped by men’s eyes. If we had small breasts, we were ignored and made to feel like a speck on the wall. Our breasts have been a way that we have been judged and in a sense abused. Your wife has a story as all women do. Your job is to love her like crazy, create a safe place for her to open up and to prove that you are not just another man that is going to judge her or use her. So, if your wife does not like you to touch her breasts than out of love and respect you don’t touch them. Just like Solomon, you lover her entire body, from her head to her toes. You gently speak what you love about her – inside and outside. You create a safe place and maybe someday your wife opens up.

  3. My wife use to like me to touch, lick and suck on her breast and nipples. But after our 4th child she doesn’t want me to touch them in anyway. She says they hurt.
    It pains me and and l have felt rejected, I wish she would talk to me about it, but she says it’s “the change in life”. I have searched online for answers and don’t put much trust in worldly opinions and haevn’t found any real answers. If it is a change of life for her, will it come back again or is it gone forever? What can be done to make them feel better for her now? She is 45 and our last child is 6.
    Thank you.

    • mm

      Respect your wife’s boundaries regarding her breasts and don’t take it personally. Our hormones go crazy as we approach menopause and sometimes we get surges of estrogen that can make our nipples super sore. Whatever the case, your wife needs to know that you care more about her, what she is going thru and her enjoyment than you care about yourself. This may not last forever but it might last years. In the mean time, you could ask her if there are any ways you can touch her breasts that might be enjoyable. Maybe you could gently touch the breast without touching the nipple, or maybe you could let her know that you want to respect her boundaries, and you won’t touch them unless she place your hands there.

  4. Just beautiful. I love the language and sensitivity with which you approach this topic and the helpful comments for us husbands. It seems to me that every woman is different and my wife certainly changes from time to time, especially regarding how sensitive her breasts are. There is a lot of helpful information but also the whole feeling your writing creates is very connecting, intimate and wholesome. Thank you Ruth.

  5. Many times what feels good to your wife after considerable foreplay would not have felt good early on. Also, lube up her nipples with coconut oil, and gently touch them. This might help.

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