Song of Song 7:2

Your navel is a rounded goblet
    that never lacks blended wine.

glass of red wine

Did you know that the vagina has the same pH as red wine?

Are you awed that a vagina can stretch enough for a baby to pass thru and can also shrink to snugly hug a man’s penis?

A woman’s vagina is amazing but most men know very little about it.

Basic Anatomy 

Female Cross Section

Female Cross Section

The unaroused vagina is about 3.5 inches long. Most of the nerves in the vagina are located near the entrance, in the first third. In fact there are so few nerves in the latter 2/3 that sometimes medical procedures are performed without anesthesia.  At the end of the vagina, the cervix provides a microscopic opening for sperm to pass thru into the uterus in order to make a baby. The cervix is typically sensitive and painful to the touch. Women that have had babies sometimes have scar tissue in their vagina that can feel uncomfortable or painful.

The vagina is like a self cleaning oven and it is important not to disrupt the sensitive balance with things like douches, perfumes or soaps. Daily discharge is normal and the amount, consistency and scent changes with hormonal fluctuations.

Different areas of the vagina respond to firm stimulation – including the G-spot and the Deep spot. My article on Different Pathways describes these two areas, but it is possible that your wife has other areas that enjoy firm stimulation. Some say that the G-spot, which is about an inch inside on the front wall, feels like the roof of your mouth, and when it becomes aroused, feels like a smooth patch.


The goal is to learn about your wife’s vagina. Explore the basic structure, shape, and responses. Learn what areas feel enjoyable, sensitive, uncomfortable or even painful.

Ask your wife if you can spend some time getting to know her vagina. Tell her you just want to understand her body better. Assure her that you will  be clean, careful, gentle and that at any time she can tell you to stop.


You want your wife as relaxed as possible so warm the room and turn on some soft lighting. Have her lay on her back with her legs gently spread apart with her knees bent.


Wash and warm your hands.  Lubricate your entire hand with coconut oil, especially your index finger. As you prepare to do each step, tell your wife what you are going to do. Once  you enter your wife’s vagina with your finger, do not remove it all the way unless she asks you to.


Tell your wife you are going to gently slide your finger into her vagina. With your palm facing up, slowly slide your index finger into her vagina with the pad of your finger following the contour of her vagina. Pay attention to what angle your finger travels.

With your finger fully inserted, hold your finger still for at least 10 seconds and ask your wife to relax and take a couple of deep breaths.

With your finger still, ask  you wife to squeeze her kegel muscles and hold it for 3 seconds and then relax the muscles. Repeat several times. Do  you feel her muscles contract and then loosen.

Ask your wife to rapidly contract her kegel muscles at least 10 times. Do  you feel the muscles pulse around your finger? Ask your wife contract her muscles for 3 seconds and then to relax fully.

Front Wall

Tell your wife you are going to slowly follow the front wall (tummy side) of your wife’s vagina as you pull your finger out. Ask your wife what area feels the best. Slowly move your finger back in and see if you can feel a ridged area like the roof of your mouth about 1-2 inches in. Gently, but firmly try using the pad of your finger to explore sensitivity to deeper stimulation by using a firm come hither motion. Ask your wife if anything feels enjoyable, uncomfortable or not sure.  Do not expect that G-spot stimulation will feel like much since she is not aroused. Continue carefully exploring the front wall and see if you can locate the pelvic bone. Ask your wife if she wants to show you any spots that feel good or bad by moving your finger there. Ask your wife if you need to put more lubrication on your finger and then continue.

Side Walls and Back Wall

Do a similar exploration of the side walls and back wall. With your finger fully inserted, ask  your wife to contract her kegels for 3 seconds and then fully relax. Slowly rotate your finger 90 degrees so the pad faces the side of her vagina. Slowly slide the finger out following the side wall, first with light pressure and then a little firmer pressure. Ask your wife what feels good and what doesn’t.


Ask your wife if you can stimulate her clitoris with your mouth or other hand while  you keep your finger deep inside her. Pay attention to any changes to her vagina as she becomes aroused. Does her vagina wake up? Does it lubricate? Does it want to be touched certain ways? Ask her to tell you if she wants your finger in her vagina to move or press into certain spots. If she is open to it, see if she will allow you to stimulate her clitoris until she has an orgasm, with your finger still inside of her. What does it feel like?

Your wife’s body is amazing – even the parts that you cannot see. 

Next week – her breasts

We are currently raising funds to make Awaken-Love women’s classes available on video. To learn more go to We Want to Start a Revolution.

Ruth Buezis

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