Song of Songs 


We have a little sister,
    and her breasts are not yet grown.
What shall we do for our sister
    on the day she is spoken for? 

If she is a wall,
    we will build towers of silver on her.
If she is a door,
    we will enclose her with panels of cedar.

What shall we do for our sister?

If she protects herself, we will reward her.

If she is loose, we will build walls around her – to help protect her.

These friends were actively involved in helping their sister stay pure.

In this day and age, odds are stacked against people staying pure until marriage. Pornography is rampant, casual encounters are the norm, and remaining pure is just plain crazy. We live in a society that is about instant gratification and getting what you want. The average age for girls to marry is now 27, and that is a long time to wait.

And yet God calls men and women to purity – as an act of obedience and to help us avoid all the pain and scars that result from broken soul ties. It is hard, really hard. I would say almost impossible to stay pure without the help of friends. Friends that are willing to ask the hard questions and not just turn the other cheek. Friends that can help us make smart choices and that can reel us back when we make poor choices. Friends that point us to God’s healing and redemption, so we don’t just throw in the towel and give up when we’ve blown it. Friends that speak grace and mercy, but that also speak the truth.

Are  you courageous enough to get involved in your friends’ business. Do you take the time to build the kind of relationships where someone would allow you to ask those questions and would value your opinion. Do you share with others what they get to look forward to in marriage.

This Week – 

  1. Make a list of the people that you want to influence and take steps to build those relationships. Look for opportunities to share why sex is worth waiting for and let them know you are available to answer any questions.
  2. The best book I have read on purity is “real sex – the naked truth about chastity” by Lauren Winner. Pick up a copy, read it, and pass it on or lead a study using it.
  3. Thank those people that watched out for you or mentored you in your sexuality.

Ruth Buezis

Comments 0

  1. Ruth,
    Thank you for mentoring me through the classes you offer and the weekly emails. Your influence is huge and helped me heal on so many levels! I appreciate you and am grateful The Lord brought you into my life!

  2. I pray so strongly for my step-grandchildren. I’ve asked my husband, who has a very close relationship with his grands, to talk to the boys. He doesn’t feel comfortable doing that – despite being a life-long professional teacher and a life-long Christian of blameless life…

    • mm

      It is hard to change what we have known our entire lives and many of us have known silence about sex. I just met a man in my MEN’S EDITION Awaken Love class that is on a mission to change this because his entire generation – 30 year olds – have been affected by exposure to porn. He realizes that the only way to combat pornography is to get things into the light and start talking to our young people about sex – before it is too late. I urge you to get comfortable talking about sex, become educated about what is happening, have a compassion for what people are dealing with, and become a safe place that young people can ask questions.

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