Song of Songs 8:1


If only you were to me like a brother,
    who was nursed at my mother’s breasts!
Then, if I found you outside,
    I would kiss you,
    and no one would despise me.

At first glance, this passage may sound strange, but is quite simple.  At the time this was written, public displays of affection were prohibited between husband and wife. She is simply wishing that she could be more open with when and how she is allowed to kiss her husband.

When my husband and I visited our daughter in Morocco 3 years ago, she constantly had to remind us to stop holding hands or even touch in public. In Muslim cultures,  personal displays of affection between husband and wife are not allowed. In fact, decency laws prohibit displays of public affection and you can be arrested.

Now I know, people can go over board with public displays of affection. Young people can feast on each other, sticking their tongues down each others throats as the rest of us do our best to avoid the spectacle. But once again, what married people should enjoy in good and right ways and don’t –  unmarried people are enjoying in ways that may be inappropriate.

Why is that when we get married, we feel like we need to become asexual? Why do we have to stop touching each other, and stealing kisses when no one is looking?  Why can’t our kids see us flirting or have any notion that we love each other? Do we act like lovers or do we act like friends?

Shouldn’t our marriages look different because we have Christ at the center. He releases us from bondage, gives us freedom, shows us how to forgive and love each other selflessly. He shows us how to have a love that is jealous, passionate and unyielding. He gives us sex to make us into One. Have we entered into that amazing place of living fully?

This Week – 

  1. As we enter the holiday season, make a commitment to stay connected even in the midst of family events and parties. Hold each others hand, sneak a kiss once in a while, brag about each other, and catch each others eye from across the room.
  2. Go to the movies, sit in the back row, and take the opportunity to kiss during the show, or whatever is appropriate…
  3. Hold hands during worship or dare to sneak a kiss at church.

Ruth Buezis


Comments 0

  1. So very true. One of the healthiest thing we can do as a married couple is kiss. It is ok for children to see their parents flirt and share affection in appropriate ways. Observable electricity is ok in fact it is good for the children to see and very good for the marriage. Thanks for reminding us.

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