Song of Songs 7:13


The mandrakes send out their fragrance,

    and at our door is every delicacy,
both new and old,
    that I have stored up for you, my beloved.

Is every delicacy at your door – both new and old.

Having a great sex life is a journey. It is a journey of discovering how our bodies work and how our spouses bodies work. It is a process of building trust and getting comfortable enough to communicate our desires and being bold enough to share our passion. It is a journey of recognizing baggage that has affected us, asking for God’s help in dealing with it and claiming His redemption in our life. It is a lifetime of exploring each other and mining the deepest parts of our lover.

I would never expect a couple that has been married 3 years to have the same delicacies at their door as a couple that has been married 30 years – but God’s desire is that you do not put up barriers to the delicacy that He offers to you today. Be open to the small things that God is revealing to you and the gems that He offers you and continue to grow. Continue to collect the delicacies every year of your marriage until you are that older couple that the young ones point out and say, “someday I want to have what they have.”

This week –

  1. Reflect on how your intimacy has grown in your marriage. Do you have more delicacies at your door – new and old – than you did the last year or the year before? Celebrate the ways that you have grown and the things you have learned about each other – or make a commitment to grow from this point forward.
  2. Evaluate if there are barriers that need to be removed to grow in intimacy. Is there baggage? Is there shame? Is there fear? Are there limits where God offers freedom? Ask God to reveal the barriers and for help in removing them.
  3. Decide one area that you want to stretch your self in your marriage bed. Do you want to express what you are feeling with  your words or the movement of your body? Do you want to learn a new technique or position? Do you want to be more present during sex? Do you want to make God more of your marriage bed? Draw a line in the sand and plan small doable steps to grow.

Ruth Buezis

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