I had an interesting conversation the other day.

I was talking to one of my husbands friends about possibly attending my class for the men and he said,’If everything works, why do I need to worry about learning something new?”  I was a little shocked, because I always figure just the opposite, ” there is always something new to learn.”

Now to be fair, this is probably  the typical answer for most men. It comes from the foundational truth that most men cling to, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

473739183_5c99733c4bWhat men may not realize, is that women are like this complicated stereo component. You can either listen to it, with all the knobs randomly set to the neutral position, and have adequate sound. Or you can learn what all the knobs actually  do, and dial them into each song for the ultimate music.

Men, there is nothing your wife desires more than for you to find her just as captivating as all the knobs on the stereo, or even all those apps on you iphone. Your wife wants you to be enthralled with figuring out who she is, and enjoy the experience.

Now ladies, my personal opinion is that this picture isn’t quite right as an analogy for men and women. Yes, husbands typically can operate pretty easily with just an on/off button. But you know what? If you spend time learning your husband, and stretching him in his experiences,  he has a lot more potential than on/off. Spend time learning your husband and taking him somewhere new.

Your mission over the holidays is to learn something new about sex and your spouse. Here are some ideas to get you started….

Buy a new book on amazon like Orgasms by Lou Paget, Resurrecting Sex by David Schnarch, Extraordinary Sex Now by Sandra Scantling, or Intimacy Ignited by Dillow and Pintus

Read some articles on a good christian blog like the marriage bed, or hot, holy and humorous

Try a new position from Christiannymphos

Ask you spouse what their fantasy is and if possible find a way that is God honoring to reenact it.

Give your spouse a full body massage and ask for feedback to find new erotic zones, or the most sensitive areas of the erotic zones you know.

Have sex a way that you don’t normally.

Enjoy the journey.

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